Choni one shots

131: The One With The Secret

Toni is trans ftm in this story. Why? Idk I just made it that way

TONI POV:

Cheryl and I are lying in bed. I'm pretty much lying into between her legs and lying my head on her chest. "Toni, every time I try to take the next step in our relationship you stop me." I panic for a second. "No, I don't!" I insist. "Yeah you do!" She whispers. I sit up. "I just don't think I'm ready." I lie. "Ok, you just answered my next question." I look at her and she just looks down. "Cheryl, I love you so much I didn't-." She stops me. "I love you too! But I think I know why we haven't had sex and I think I've known for a while." I panic. "Why do you think?" I ask not knowing what the hell she's about to say. "I'm just gonna come out and say it." She stops for second. "I know you're trans." She say bluntly. I stop. "Why do you think that?" I ask quietly. "Well, first when we went to the beach over the summer, you didn't take your shirt off once except when you went to the bathroom to change. You never want to stay over night and the times you do you go into the bathroom and change into a baggy sweatshirt. The first time I hugged you I thought you were wearing a bulletproof vest but that's a little out of character for you even." She explains. I look down. "Anything else?" I ask not really knowing what she's gonna say. "Yeah. There was this girl in elementary and middle school, I never really talked to her, but one day in 7th grade, she was magically gone and her parents had moved away, a few years later, you came to town, same parents as that little girl." She whispers. "I did some searching and I found out it was you." She says taking my hand. "Same last name, parents, same best friends even, everything match up. Except you, you had transitioned in a different school and came here when you were ready." I hold back tears. "I'm sorry." I whisper not really knowing what else to say. "I just want to know why you didn't tell me." She whispers. "Because I left this place for a reason! I had come out to my parents and they told my aunt and uncle who told Fangs and he doesn't have to tightest of lips so it got around the school, I don't know how you didn't know." I explain confusing myself on how I worded that. "Why Fangs?" She ask quietly. "He's my cousin." She nods. "I got bullied and I had to move before it was to late." I whisper. "I think I remember a rumor going around about you, but I didn't really think anything of it mostly because I just don't care about some kids sexuality or gender identity, I don't really know why people do." She tells me. "You were one of the only people that was nice to me after everyone found out." I look at her. "Why did it take so long for me to find out that was you?" Cheryl ask quietly. "Because, I didn't want people finding out again. I'm finally happy!" I insist. "Please don't say anything." She nods. "Of course, but I'm kinda mad, you should have told me right away!" She whispers. "I know! I just wanted you to love me for me not everything else." She smiles. "It would have been nice to have a heads up though. Instead of feeling like there was something wrong that you didn't want to have sex with me." I look at her. "Is this seriously what this is all about?" I ask. She smiles. "No! Not at all! Just a little." I nod. "Why haven't you killed Fangs about all of this? You know, since he started this." I take a deep breath. "Because he didn't know any better, and he's my best friend. I ripped him a new asshole and moved on with life." I tell her. She kisses me. "I have a few questions." She says stopping me from deepening the kiss. I nod. "How long have you been on testosterone?" She ask quietly. "Since freshman year." I say. "Have you had any surgeries?" I shake my head. "Not for my transition no." She looks at me. "I had to get a kidney removed last year that's the only surgery I actually remember." She nods. "Do you want to see the scar?" I ask starting to pull my shirt up. "You've shown me like 10 times already." I nod. "Anything else?" I ask quietly. "Are you planning on having any surgeries?" She ask. "Yeah, but my family can't really afford it, but I've been working really hard to get at least some of the money." I tell her. "Do you need any help?" She ask. I look at her. "I can't- I can't do that to you." I whisper. "How much?" She ask quietly. "16,000 and that's just the down payment. I still have to pay for a hotel and medication and the appointments and everything else, I can barely pay for my testosterone." I explain. "I don't want you to pay for everything." I tell her. "Let me contribute." She says quietly. "Can I get back to you on that?" She nods. I pull her into a kiss. "I'm here for you." She whispers. "Thank you." I smile. "What kind of surgery do they do?" She ask confused. "Well, they pretty much cut your nipple out and drain your chest and they cut the sides to get the rest of the tissue out." I say awkwardly. "What about...?" She motions to her pants. I shrug. "I haven't really looked into all that." I whisper. "Ok, does anything happen down there? Like when you start testosterone?" She ask awkwardly. "Yeah. More hair than I'm used to and another thing that I really don't want to talk about right now." She nods. "I'll just look it up." She grins. "Probably best." I whisper. "But what about us?" I look at her confused. "I know this doesn't define our relationship or is the end goal, but I want to at least talk about sex, because I just want to know where we are." She whispers. I look down. "I was kinda hoping this would never come up." I say under my breath. "Really?" I nod ashamed. "I just don't know if I'll be comfortable! I'm not as insecure about my chest than my you know." She nods. "Of course." She whispers. "If we are going to do anything, I will take my binder off but only because if I do a lot of sweating and exercise it feels tighter. I would still like to have a shirt on though." I explain. "I feel like you're not really into anything crazy, which is refreshing." She whispers. I smile a little. "You and I both know I'm not a virgin." She says. I nod. "I don't really know how to have sex with a trans guy but I think we can figure that out together. A lot of trial and error but we'll get it." She reassures me. "I just have one question. It's probably going to make both of us uncomfortable but I just need to know." She says. I nod. "Why are you gonna have top surgery before having any bottom surgery?" She ask quietly. "Because I'm fine is I have my packer. Which is pretty much a prosthetic dick. I can also use it in the bathroom, I just can't have sex with it, I can buy one that I can do that with but I lose the bathroom part of it." I explain. "Well, I have a strap on." She says bluntly. "W-what?" I ask confused. "Veronica threw it at me. In the box and everything, never been used. I think she thought I was into her and that was her way of flirting." She shrugs. "Why would she think that?" I ask confused. "Why do you think?" I think for a second. "Oh yeah, forgot your bi. Why did she throw a strap on at you?" She laughs. "I really don't know! Either that was her flirting or she was gonna use it with someone else and her parents were gonna find it so she gave it to me of all people." She explains. "Anyways! I have one, it hasn't been used! If we ever get to that point and you want to top of whatever we have an option." I nod. "Ok." I whisper.