All the secrets of a fangirl | B. E. Story |

39.O Please don't

"Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?" I sing while walking through my room, i was cleaning up the living room since it was a mess after packing up for the tour.

Please don't leave, please don't leave me alone.

Billie's voice hit me like a truck whenever i thought of her again, after our fight at the park i decided it was time for me to head home. I have been following her through social media to see how she is doing, i didn't text her for a while since i didn't want to bother her. And it felt not right for me to do so.  I didn't want to bother her with my pain, my issues since she is focusing on her tour and she doesn't need that kind of bullshit now in her life. But since it was a week ago i wanted to call her again and ask her how she's been.

Of course, she tried to get a hold of me after i left, but she stopped texting once she noticed i wouldn't answer.

I put the blankets in the basket beside the couch and let myself sit down on it while i let my eyes wander through the room to see i missed anything.

Please don't, I'm gonna miss you so bad mamas. Why are we going through this again?

I felt shivers roll down my back while i pulled my phone out of my pocket. i turned on Siri. "Call Billie." Nervously biting on the inside of my cheeks i waited for her to answer. A sigh of relief left my body when she did. "Lana?"

"Babe... How have you been?" I asked her while i stood up from the couch, pacing around the room.

"I'm fine, how are you?" She sounded cold, mad, distant. Never mind, it was me overthinking.

"Mhm, same. I'm glad you are feeling fine. What are you up to today?"

"Lana, are you really okay?" Billie snapped at me, clearly annoyed that i wasn't talking about it.

"I'm still a little upset, but it will fade.." I heard a loud sigh on the other side of the phone and i looked outside, the sun wasn't set above the city tonight and it looked like it was gonna thunder real soon. "You know you can tell me, anything babes, I'm coming over after tour is over. 1 more week." I nodded at her response and sit down in the chair near the window.

"Please keep me updated this time." I could hear her whisper and i held in a tear, feeling really bad for hurting her. "Promise, i love you."

"I love you too mamas." We both ended the call and i stared outside, it started to rain. It was quite peaceful when it became dark, i could sit here for hours. Watching the cars pass by, see the people on the street running home or walking with an umbrella, enjoying the weather. A buzz on the door bell downstairs turned me back to reality.

I walked down the stairs and peeked through the hole in the door. I saw Sophie and Garret standing outside, i texted her revealing i came home early and she was too excited to meet me again. I opened the door with a wide smile on my face. "Hi, guys."

"YA GIRL IS HOME," Sophie shouted in excitement before grabbing for her belly. "You probably can't imagine but it's getting heavier every day." I pulled her in my arms and held her for a long minute. "I can't imagine, but take your time getting up the stairs."

I greeted Garret by giving him a hug before we all went upstairs. We found our spot in the living room and i grabbed coffee for the both of them, outside it was storming and it looked like it wasn't getting any better soon. "Lana, I'm so sorry for what happened to Kate's grave."