All the secrets of a fangirl | B. E. Story |

86.O Messing with my brain

The neighbourhood looked exactly the same the last time I went here to visit Lana, the same houses still standing near the road and the cherry blossom trees hanging down was A sign i was close. Lana's house, a house full of memories. Man the things I'd do to get back in time and get to know her all over again.

A loud cry came from the back, and I looked over in the small mirror facing Hugo. He was such a happy child today and I had no clue why, maybe it was a sign his mom was here.

I parked the car near her house and decided to get out. Just a stroll around the block would be enough to not get noticed by the paparazzi. While getting Hugo from his car seat and letting him sit in the stroller I brought with me.

He was shouting and making these really happy noises while looking around him, his brown hair was starting to curl because it was getting so long, I decided to not get his hair cut just because Lana would love his curls. "Guess what? Your mom lived here. And I used to come here a lot.." Talking to Hugo usually calmed me down but this time it was something else that calmed me down. Although I couldn't sense what.

While walking to Lana's house I could Hugo suddenly say "mommy" He is been trying lately to talk and walk, and it's insane to see how mucb he's growning and learning new things basically every hour.

Lana's house didn't change, the same curtains were still hanging down the walls from the last time i've seen them. I could remember that there was an old couple living inside the house but it seemed pretty quiet right now, maybe no one lives here anymore. I walked around the house, looking at every single detail. When a small sign hanging on the inside in front of the window.

FOR SALE.

My heart dropped on the floor when I noticed the sign, maybe thats why I was feeling so calm. For me this was going to be amazing, a big sign for me to change everything around. To be honest I would never move back here, the feeling of living there alone with no one else but my kid was crawling up on me and I didn't want it to be like that. It felt like dissapointing Lana, but at the same time I knew I had bigger plans. Buying this house would be absolutely amazing, making sure someone else was going to rent it and have their own spot while I know someone was taking good care of the house was something to think about.

I sighed and thought about it once again, I was always full of enthusiasm, and when I have a plan I just have to do it immediately. While planning it out a loud noise caught my attention.

"BILLIE." I felt my body shiver by a familiair voice of an old lady.

I turned myself around to see who was talking. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" Her face full of wrinkles, but an adorable smile with two bright green eyes were staring at me. She looked somehow friendly and excited, for what? I wasn't sure.

"It seems like you don't remember me.. I've seen you before, with this beautiful girl. She had long dark hair.." While the woman explained who she was I could feel my stomach turn. Of course I know her, she's the one who was living in Lana's house. I went here once I broke up with Lana and had to get my stuff, to found out she wasn't living here.

"As I said, the lady with the long hair.. She's been around town lately, and I wasn't sure if you would be able to be here. You know I'm like not into the news right now, all these virus things.. And the world going to well.. I don't even know if i can say it. "Shit." I wasn't even aware of the fact if you were even famous anymore." The woman started to giggle, but I was confused. Did she just say she saw Lana? It couldn't be.

She's dead, gone.

As she rattles on about the world I realized I hadn't even asked how she was doing. At least a year has passed and she too would wonder who the little boy is who's with me. Hugo was restless. He still made little cries and I could only imagine how bored he was.

"How are you doing these days? It's a crazy world, and social distancing is hard." I noted while smiling friendly at her.

Her body language changed as her eyes turned away from me. "I lost him to the virus.. My husband. He suffered, the imagine of him suffering will not ever leave my head." Her eyes started to water, her face turning away and I couldn't do anything but feel for her.

This poor woman.

"Let me buy you a coffee." I insisted.

"No."

I lowkey wanted to help her and the only thing I could do was buy this woman a coffee. "Go inside, and only if you want to i'll join you and get us some coffee." I waited for her answer slowly losing myself in the moment when I suddenly noticed a vague figure crossing the street.

A woman wearing a pink hoodie with her dark hair hanging down her shoulders crossed the street, she looked confused.

And for a minute I was sure, it was her. Lana, as if I found her twin.

Fuck sake Billie, be more careful. You can't make this shit up, just because your lady passed away doesn't mean she suddenly returned back to life. Like a zombie movie.. The fuck Bil, get your fucking shit together.

The older woman also realized that my attention was no longer there. Probably thinking that I wasnt interested in her stories although that wasn't true.

"If you don't mind buying me a coffee I would love to invite you in." Her friendly smile appeared on her face again. "BUT. You don't have any symptons? right?" I chuckled and shook my head from left to right.

Following the lady inside I turned myself around again, this figure followed me. I could see her eyes staring at me, the unreadable expression on her pale face. Was she trying to say anything? The weather changed and it started to rain, you would think by feeling the first raindrops on her face she'd turn around and walk away. She didn't.

_

Dear sweet followers of mine, I'm sorry for not updating anytime sooner. First of all my girlfriend got covid and I had to quarantine for ten days. I promised you guys more updates because I was home anyway.. But then the worst case scenario happened, and our grandma passed away because of covid. I lost my job, so did my gf and it was the worst thing ever. Our world's falling apart and I wasn't interested in updating.. So today I had the chance, I could think clearly so I decided to update. Its not the best chapter.. But I hope you'd like it. Thank you all for this amazing support I get on this book. Y'all are amazing.