All the secrets of a fangirl | B. E. Story |

44.O Maybe it's the worst in me

"But nothing ever stops you leaving.."

Billie's lyrics hit me like a truck while i was listening to her, its been exactly a week, 3 hours, and 48 minutes since the accident happened. My mom has slowly been getting better, well at least the doctors told me she is making progress. And the chance of her waking up has never been bigger as it has been since this morning. But that didn't mean she was saved, not just yet.

"Please keep on doing what you're doing," I said to Billie when she stopped singing, her little smirk became pretty big when i told her to sing. It was the only thing that was making me feel good and calm.

She was playing on her ukelele, her black hair was hanging in front of her face and her eyes were focused on her notebook. She has been getting much inspiration from what happened the last few days, and she was scribbling away in it. While singing all of her songs her eyes started to twinkle, and her cheeks became red. Adorable.

"I have to go."

She stood up from the bed and i furrowed my eyebrows. "Why? Where are you planning on going?"

"I'm meeting up with Finneas, to see Casey." I searched inside my mind to find the moment she told me about it, but i couldn't seem to remember anything. Must have been because of the situation that has been happening for the last week.

"Okay be safe please," I said putting her cheeks between my hands, eagerly connecting our lips before i have to let go of her.

she gestured to me to call her if something was wrong. I nodded my head and put my thumb up awkwardly. "Don't do that mamas." Billie left the room laughing. I let myself sit back on the bed and turned on the tv since there was nothing else to do now. Even tho i wanted to see my mom, it means i have to see all the paparazzi gathering around the entrance of the hotel.

Billie's p.o.v

Shit, this was such a bad idea, i looked over to Finneas who parked the car in the parking lot. Was i really gonna do this? No, i shouldn't. The same concerning look on Finneas face even made me even more unsure about what i was gonna do today.

"You don't have to. We can just drive away... I also don't think Lana will appreciate the fact you are going to visit the person who almost killed her mom."

The lump in my throat that grew bigger by the day was slowly cracking when he said that. I just wanted to hear a sorry i guess... I know i wasn't gonna get the sorry i wanted, but i should at least try. Or maybe i shouldn't. Fuck what is up with me lately. I opened the door and turned myself over to my brother again who was pretty sure hoping i was gonna get back in the car and tell him to drive away.

"I'll be back in an hour." He nodded as an answer.

I then walked over to the entrance, the prison didn't look like one. Besides the fact that there were big gates around the building, i walked in and checked in. I called her last week to ask if i could get on her visitor list, of course, she couldn't deny it the minute i asked her.

After going through security i walked into a big room with multiple tables and chairs, the room was cold, the walls were dark green and you could see cheap lamps hanging on the ceiling. I didn't expect much from prison, but this was total shit. Which they probably deserve for the bad things all the people in here have done, or still do...

I could feel my stomach drop when she walked in, her long blonde hair was up in a big bun on top of her head. The tough bitch I got to know wasn't so tough anymore, even the tattoos on her upper arms looked like drawings made by a child in here.

"Hi," I said when she sat down in front of me.

"I didn't expect you to come this soon," Madison said while she let her hands down on the table.