All the secrets of a fangirl | B. E. Story |

83.O me?

* Billie's p.o.v *

"As long as i'm here.. No one can hurt you." I tried to focus on my microphone while walking on stage, tonight was a live concert for millions of people. And I haven't been on stage for a while, ever since the corona virus we couldn't do anything. The chances of it spreading was gonna be higher, so the tour was cancelled and postponed until next year. Deep inside I didn't have any peace with it, Lana's health was going badly the last week and she didn't seem to remember me a few times. I sighed, focusing me on the song again when I suddenly heard a loud babynoise coming from the side of me. My mom tried to comfort Hugo, and gave me an apologetic smile.

She was the best grandma in the world, Hugo felt so comfortable around her. Since Lana literally had no clue what was going on. "I tried to scream, but my head was underwater.." The visuals start to play in the background and I made my way around the stage, making simple dancemoves while losing myself in the music. Being in my element, the way I always was when performing.

"Billie?"

The voice of an female I've heard before caught my attention, a blonde girl walking into the arena. I didn't recognize her, probably because of her facemask we had to wear these days. I signaled to Finneas to stop the music. I was pretty confused by who walked in, feeling slightly overwhelmed after finding out it was Lana's ex bestfriend Lily.. She screwed her over, and I wasn't slight sure what she was doing here.

"uhm? what's this?" I bite the inside of my cheeks while looking over her at her, making her way to the stage. Standing against it, I was glad I couldn't see her whole face 'cause I sure wanted to punch it after what she did with Charlie.

"What do you mean by that? You guys invited me over?" I furrowed both eyebrows, feeling my mind going crazy after her theorie. Nobody invited her over, nobody ever wanted to see her again. "First of all, I didn't invite you. Neither did Lana.. Second of all why HERE?" I looked around me in the arena and felt myself getting more confused with the minute. I was convinced that Lana banned Lily out of her life, and I was actually used to the situation of Lana not remembering anyone. Even Lily..

"Lana did, I'm so confused why you're even acting like that. She told me you were totally fine by it, and how much she missed us hanging out together." That didn't even sound like Lana speaking, but Alzheimer took the best of her and little did she actually know what was going on. I sighed and waved everything off. "Well, i'm so sure Lana won't remember you the minute you walk up on the door. So make it yourself easy and go home, this pandemic didn't tell you to go out and have fun."

A loud laugh interrupted me, and it took me off. "Billie, because of you were not even friends anymore. Why would you say that kind of shit?"

"BECAUSE LANA HAS DEMENTIA AND YOU WALKING IN HERE CONFUSED THE SHIT OUT OF ME< AND I SHOULDNT WORRY ABOUT THIS. I GOT OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND." My loud shouting alarmed the security, walking in two man strong towards Lily to walk her out. Her face was red, and her eyes watered after the situation.

"I just really miss my best friend.. And Charlie fucked it up.."

"Charlie fucked you, period. Thats it, the end. Finished, what do you want more?" I walked towards the front of the stage and smirked even tho she couldn't see me. I was so offended by the way she talked, or even tried to talk about Lana. As if she wanted her back as her friend, and I had to let it happen.

"You won't understand. Lana and I have been friends ever since we grow up, so you're not gonna tell me to stay away. I was being polite, telling you about it. But you're saying crazy shit and i've had it. I'm seeing Lana wether you like it or not." Lily stormed out of the arena, and I just let her. She had no clue on where Lana was, or neither did she even know about Hugo's existence.

I decided to let it go and not wrap my mind around it, the music restarted like Finneas read my mind.  I focused on the lyrics of the song. Music always made me feel safe and free, letting go off all my anxiety and worries. The world was standing still at this point, and no one knew what the future would bring. But for me, whenever i'm singing. It's like I have no worry at all.

Finishing the last sentence of Bored, I heard a loud cry coming from the side from our little babyboy. My mom tried to comfort him, but he didn't stop. His crying became louder and I felt a weird feeling down my gut. Was it because of Hugo? Was it because of my live concert? Was it something I forgot about?

"Billie you have to get dressed, we're launching the live concert in 30 minutes." My manager walked inside making her statement pretty clear towards me. I made my way to the dressing room, followed by my mom and Hugo. Dialing Lana's number.

Not an answer.

I dialed her number again, rolling my eyes when it didn't even come trough and go straight to voicemail. I wasn't worried for her safety, cause usually Claudia would how weird this may sound.. Babysit on my wife. Being alone wasn't an option for her.

I changed myself in my Billie tracksuit that had my name all over it. "Brings back the better times huh?" I smiled at my mom agreeing with her, this tracksuit brought me back to the days where I just met my wife, had my new album released. Back when the pandemic didn't even exist.

"I miss the times where everything was just easier." Looking up to her through the mirror we both knew that we felt the same way about everything, I grabbed Hugo from her and held him close while walking back. The team was setting up the stage, making it look like the same way it did before the world had to close down.

"We're going live in five!"

"Are you gonna be a good boy?" I tickled Hugo's belly feeling insanely blessed after hearing his cute little babylaugh. "Just a few more hours and we'll go home and see mama." I kissed him on top of his forehead and handed Hugo to my mom.

Making myself ready, getting my mic and everything I needed to perform. A big screen in front of me counting down the minutes before going live. I was nervous, mostly because I couldn't talk to my wife or that she wasn't here to support me. I know she supports me deep down in her heart when she remembers me.

"3.. 2... 1... You're on Bill!" I looked into the camera, giving an genuine smile.

"Yall, this is crazy shit now isn't it? Usually you guys would be here, singing with me. Dancing, making it a huge party. But because of damn corona.. We have to do it this way. I can see yall commenting on the screen.. So we'll do a Q&A in between the songs." A comment got my attention and I tried to focus on it before it went away. Thousands of people were watching the livestream, and commenting at the same time so sometimes it was pretty hard to reply to everyone.

"Let's start with Bad guy.. Since everyones used to it at concerts." The music start to play and the same comment was there again.

My mom noticed too walking backstage. I didn't want to ruin the livestream, but I was damn curious for what was happening.

The screen started to act weird.

And I felt a knot down my stomach when there was another user with a camera.

Lana.

And someone I didn't recognize

Why was my wife there? And why didn't I recognize the location. Lana didn't seem happy and I had no clue what was going on..

"Baby?.." Finneas stopped the music and I was focusing on the screen. Could she hear me?

"Lana.."

"You better listen or Lana's gone Billie." And there she was.. Lily. Looking the same like she did this afternoon.

"I-.."

And the screen turned black. I started panicking when it did. "I GOTTA GO HOME. PLEASE TRY TO REACH HER AGAIN THROUGH THE INTERNET." I ran out of the arena, making my way to the mustang. I had to find Lana.