All the secrets of a fangirl | B. E. Story |

78.O Going somewhere new

Billie's p.o.v

I felt my eyes becoming heavier with the minute, and my heart twirl while I was trying to wake up from this nightmare. Rosaly laying beside me, her long soft curls hanging around the pillow. I I sighed, as all the memories of last night came back to my mind.

"No, I like it rough." Rosaly raw voice groaned when I pushed myself deeper inside of her, Rosalie wasn't in any way attractive to me. She was easy, the same easy Madison was a few years ago. Same type of girl, same type of vibes.

"Three isn't enough for you isn't it?" I asked her demanding while curling my fingers inside of her, my hand feeling numb while going deeper and deeper how she wanted it.

"I had guys before Bill, I can't feel shit." I felt my stomach twist when she said that, releasing my fingers outside of her and rolling my eyes with the way she was behaving towards me. Didn't I say she was easy just a minute ago?

I watched her get out of the bed, walking to her dresser. She grabbed a huge purple dildo outside of me, handing it towards me while she laid down on her back. Spreading both her legs, me watching at her pussy with disgust. How come I make mistakes when I have the perfect lady at home? Who is even pregnant with OUR baby.

I should've go, stop this and turn this mistake around and apologize. Making sure I won't lose Lana, but something inside me says it's over this time. We'll always be related to each other because of the baby, but since it isn't my egg she could easily raise it on her own. I bit my lip, grabbing lube from beside the bed to put it on the dildo. Once it was wet enough, I pushed it inside of her without warning. Her toes curled, and the most loudest moan left her mouth.

Fuck.

I rolled over to look into my phone.

30 missed calls from wifey

I sighed again, louder then the last time and someone else heard it too. "Goodmorning pretty one.." Her lips were dry when they she wrapped them on my weak spot in my neck, I felt heavy. This isn't Lana..

"Stop Rosaly." I got out of the bed to grab all my clothing from the floor, getting myself dressed as I looked over to the long haired woman laying in the bed. Her breasts exposed, finger in her mouth looking seductively over to me. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head from the left to the right. "Not anymore."

"Let me ask you something real, honey.."

I zipped up my blohsh vest, looking around to see if I had everything and didn't forget anything. Outside it looked like the sun was going down under in the distance, and I had no clue how late it was or what day it actually was. "If Lana gives you right sex, love, and everything that comes with an working marriage.. Then why you're still cheating on that poor poor girl."

Why did it hurt me so much when Rosaly spoke the truth, not something you want to hear from someone you don't know very well. But to go into it now and agree with her was not the right choice. I walked out of the room without exchanging a word and walked out, inside the car. A bright light in the corner of my eye caught my attention, Rosaly standing in the doorway in pajamas, waving her hand trying to get my attention. I didn't answer, started the car and drove off the driveway.

I turned on the radio, Sabrina's voice filled up the air in the car. A thousand thoughts went through my mind, not a single thought I could clearly thresh out or to find out what it would mean to me.

Lana

Lana

Lana..

I'd see her beautiful brown eyes, her soft dark brown hair which always smelled like strawberry cupcakes baked in the morning. Her body language when she wanted to cuddle on a rainy day, or that weird little dance she makes once she's happy when I get home. My heart sunk into my toes, and I reversed the car when I finally decided where I wanted to go.

The same spot i'd go to when I can't finish my lyrics from a new song, or when I feel bad about the way things are going. I parked the car in a spot, getting out of the car to sit down at the bench in front of it. The sun goes down in the distance, it's the perfect setting for the perfect date. The only difference is that i'm on my own, and after these days I'll be single again.

"Billie." Goosebumps got all over my body when I heard a familiair female voice shout out my name. It was her, the one of my dreams. The one I promised myself to be with while growning older..

"What's this?" She asked, I turned myself around to her. I wasn't sure what to do, could I hug her? Run towards her. I better not..

"I don't know man.. I-"

"Just ot make this clear, you're not only dissapointing me Eilish." She rambled about our baby, how dissapointed she was and that she obviously sensed something was clearly wrong. She sat beside me, and I couldn't help but stare and wonder why the hell I cheated on her fucking again. "This damn girl, "Rosaly" comes by, telling me you walked out on her. What was it? Her pussy taste like damn fish or?" I played with my fingers, holding in my laugh by the way Lana was talking. She sure has growed some balls over the year, telling me how it is and how she sees it. She was right tho.

"No, it didn't." I bit my lip, immediately regretting what I just said. "No Lana, I mean. We didn't do a thing. But I can't do this man." I pointed between me and her.

"You're fucking married." My mind became black when she shouted at me. "You don't want me anymore Lana, do you." I interrupted her and it threw her of her feet. Her cheeks were red, and her eyes became to water.

"By the way you're acting today? No man, I don't want you anymore. But were married, and there are going to be high and lows. Communication is key Eilish.."

"Maybe i'm just not down for forever and they told me it's fine." Lana stood up, not giving me any look anymore. I could see she was thinking, holding her belly while walking away. Is this how it was going to end? Was I going to let her go? Was what I just said a stupid mistake or did I finally made the decision I sometimes wanted to make.

I'm not made for relationships, I'll get bored easily. But now she's pregnant, and I'm famous. Everyone is looking down on us, everyone's dissapointed once I'll leave her again. And i'll get a shitload of hate over me if I do. Damn that shit's bad for my career..

Still deep inside my thoughts I heard a bang. Startled, I looked behind me, Lana was on the floor. I got up from the bench, running to her.

Everything happened so fastly, I called 911 for an ambulance while trying to wake her up and scream her name. Before I knew there was an ambulance and a team with us, getting Lana on the stretcher they brought with them. "Ms. Eilish, are you coming with us?" I agreed to get inside the ambulance. They were making their way with Lana.

And all I could think about.

I'm losing her.

I'm for sure losing her..

_

Hi loves, how are you all? How's quarantine working out for you?