All the secrets of a fangirl | B. E. Story |

51.O Save my heart

"You're lost without me, Lana. You shouldn't have gone out," she spits at me as she drives us home, her angry eyes filled with flames. I try to avoid her gaze, but I can feel her hatred consuming the atmosphere around us. I would apologize, but I'm not sorry. At this moment, Billie is the only person who could give me a sense of satisfaction. This "relationship" I have with Charlie doesn't even come close to the connection I feel with Billie.

Whenever i was with Billie, i could literally start fires with what i feel for her. "Lana." She squeezes my knee harshly to get my attention. "Shit." While she parks the car i get myself out of the still driving car and run to the door. i grab for my keys, letting myself in and close the door beside me. I lock it by keeping my keys in so she couldn't get inside

I let myself fall against the wooden door and lift my knees up to my chin. As i ran my hands through my hair in confusion, i hear her. An irritated voice, begging to let her in. It sounds vaguely as i let my mind wander deeply into my mind.

"Somebody is really eager for your pussy man." When Lily walked in, i got out of my spot to instantly grab for her phone which she was holding in her hand. "Hey wtf." She takes it back and looks at me with the most irritating look on her face. "Please, Charlie smashed mine.." Shyly i stroke on the inside of my arm while i looked down to it, old bruises were finally fading while a new one appeared from the scene at the venue. "You let her do THAT?"

"Yes ofcourse, i handed it to her." Failing to hide my sarcasm i grab the phone out of her hand and dial the only number i could now think off. I turned the phone to my ear and could my eyes become big when Lily walked to the door, to open it with her dumb ass. Our smart girl suddenly didn't "know" who it was.

Furious Charlie walked in, grabbing for my waist, pulling me into my bedroom. Cheeks red, eyes still full of flames and her lips big from biting on it of anger. She didn't have to talk, i knew what she meant. What she wanted from me. "Baby.." I pouted for a try to calm her down. A hand to my neck gave me the answer i was looking for. I give in, there wasn't a chance for me to escape.

-
The next few days i've been living a pretty isolated life. Yeah i'd breathed some fresh air, i mean. Charlie likes to take some trips to the grocerie store, but that was about it. The tv showed me the same episode of friends, i've been watching for the last day. I miss my freedom, my friends.

Lily's probably scared of Charlie, constantly leaving the house to see Ryan. As i searched for her phone just this morning she got irritated. Charlie loved every second of it when she found out, complaining, agreeing with Lily. I thought of Billie, we fighted a lot. Never did she ever hurt me in a way she did. Or touched me in an innapropriate way. Kind of tho, fuck i miss her.

"What are you laughing at princess?" She'd probably seen me smiling by the thought i had.

I shook my head and stood up, she was serving up the plates of food on the kitchen counter. I took all the food in, looking at it. at some point i got paranoid she was gonna poison me after all the things she already did. It wasn't a silly thought tho. The doorbell rang when i let myself sit down on the high chair standing against the kitchen counter.

I could smell a very strong sence of vanilla getting into the room, i looked up. Neon green roots were looking up from the door. The last person i'd expected to be here was her. I could hear her ask about me, this was my chance. This was my way. I ran through the room like a headless chicken, looking for pen and paper. Right after finding it, I wrote on it in large letters. This is gonna caught her attention.. But i have to be smart, Charlie can't see me.

"BILLIE PLS WAIT FOR ME. MIDNIGHT. I'M TRYING TO GET OUT. PLS PICK ME UP BITCH TF."

The kick of feeling in danger hit me, and i start to giggle in myself like a psycho. I really wanted to get out of this situation. I held the paper up behind Charlie, wiggling it in the air. It took her a second, or two. Maybe five. She seen me, she did. Didn't she? I held it up once again while they were talking about the fact that Billie was so famous. A wink made it sure for me she was coming to get me.