All the secrets of a fangirl | B. E. Story |

33.O Scared on my own

Billie's p.o.v

I grabbed Lana's phone and searched for my parent's number. Of course, I knew the number, but I wanted to take my time. I was very worried about their reaction and what they were gonna do. would this mean my career was gonna come to an end? And that I would have to give up everything? Most likely, yes.

I heard my mom on the other side of the line. Her voice sounded really tired, I realized that it wasn't that late. And that they were planning on sleeping in, I felt gutted about destroying their day already.

"Mom, could you please meet me at the coffee shop near the boulevard?" I asked her. My voice sounded shaky, I was so scared of letting them down.

"Okay love, but we have to get ready first. "

"Will see you in an hour then?" I started to bite on my lip because of the anxiety.

"Yes." we both ended the call and I returned the phone to Lana. I looked over to her, she looked really gorgeous in her yoga pants and Adidas sweater. All I wanted was to lay down with her in the bed for the rest of the day and cuddle all my anxiety and panic attacks away. She would tell me that it would all be alright and give me solutions to all my problems.

For the next hour, we watched the walking dead on Lana's couch. This was something I didn't miss about her. The show was shit, the sound that the zombies were making sounded gross and I got so obnoxious by it. But it felt safe being with her in this environment.

" I'm getting ready for the day, do you want me to join you?" Lana asked after she stood up from the couch.

"if you want to. I'm mostly scared for my mom's reaction." I tried to act like I didn't care much for it, but I did.

"Okay. I'll join you." she walked out of the room to get ready probably, I scanned my eyes over the living room once again. I noticed a picture of Lana and Lyda, they were standing on a beach. Holding each other close and Lyda looked over to her daughter with a proud look in her eyes. The picture seemed pretty recent because Lana's hair was short and she was very thin. I noticed that she lost a lot of weight after she left me. It probably wasn't something to worry about, since she just ate up a whole box of dunkin donuts.

I waited for her to come back and watched some more of this stupid show. I felt a hand squeezing my shoulder softly, i turned myself around to look at her. Lana was wearing a yellow denim skirt with a black lace top above it. Her hair was still a little wet from the shower she just took. "You look beautiful." I said without thinking about what i was gonna say.

"Thanks. We gotta go." She waited for me to get up and we walked out of the apartment. It was a 5 minute walk from Lana's house. When we walked the streets i looked at the windows of stores. I found it way too awkward to talk to Lana and that I wasn't holding her hand also fucked me up.

We arrived at the coffee place and I walked in with Lana, my parents seemed surprised by her prescence. They all stood up to greet us, I pulled my mom into a long long hug. And held her for a minute.

"Have you been sleeping with her?"

"i haven't." I lied whispering back into her ear before letting go of the hug.

We all sat down at the table in the middle of the cafe. And ordered ourselves coffee. My parents noticed that it wasn't just a fun visit by the way i acted. So i had to get it out. "The reason that I wanted to talk is that my management has become really annoying towards me."

"Billie is it about the new stage? Because it's only for your own safety." My dad said

"No of course not I get why we have to do it." I shrugged my shoulders and tried to explain myself that there was something else going on.