All the secrets of a fangirl | B. E. Story |

38.O Push your buttons

The bus stopped at the hotel, i looked around the streets if there were any paparazzi searching for a glimpse of me or Billie. It was pretty dark outside and quiet when i got off the bus, there was no one around. It kind off felt unsafe but going inside meant i had to face Billie, but me totally not feeling ready for it decide to take a walk around the hotel to take a little break from what just happened.

It was totally illegal to tear down a grave, but how come they didn't see anyone do it. The person who must have done it, probably picked a moment where it was very quiet around there and so there was no chance they would have been seen. There was no one i could think of that would hate on Kate, not even her family was in any state to do that. Poor girl needs to rest in peace.

I let myself sit down on a bench at the side of the street, i looked at the cars driving by. In my mind it was mentally preparing for the backlash that i was gonna get on social media for it, people would probably go crazy on it and bomb me on Instagram, snapchat, anything. There was no way anyone was gonna give me a break, not since I'm back with Billie and after everything that happened in the past few months in my life.

As if losing Kate, wasn't hard enough. Then breaking up with Billie because the management wanted her too, then getting back together, the drama with Madison, and now again this... What was gonna come after this? My life feels like a total blur, and i don't know how to handle all of this any longer. The drops of rain that fell on my jacket got me out of my thoughts, it started to pour and i couldn't do anything else then head back to the hotel.

I ran to the hotel as fast as I could before I became even colder than already I was after the water fight at the venue. When i arrived i notice the blueish grey-haired girl sitting in the lobby, her eyes seemed concerned while she was totally lost looking into her phone. A wave of guilt hit me, i shouldn't have left her like that. "Bill.." I said walking up to her.

She seemed shocked and jumped out of the chair when she noticed that i said her name. "Yo, where were you?" I buried my face in her neck when she pulled me in her embrace, immediately crying like a little baby while holding her close to me.

"Hey what is wrong.." Billie whispered into my ear while massaging the back of my scalp softly.

I didn't answer her while i cried even harder, i couldn't hold it in anymore. I felt me that my breathing began to quicken and that my mouth started to dry out, close to a panic attack Billie tried to shush me. "Come on, let's get you to the room.."

She led me to the room, where after we came in she got me a glass of water and a towel for my wet hair. I probably looked ridiculous and soaked, but i appreciated Billie for pampering me and totally not caring about what i look like. "Now you first calm down, and then tell me what is going on please." She sat down in front of me on the table and had her hands down on my knees.

I took a sip of the water out of my glass and then turned it to Billie, she took it and set it down on the ground. "An hour ago Lily called me to tell me that someone tore down Kate's grave, and they don't know who done it."  I felt my eyes water again and my breath increase after telling the story. Billie also seemed pretty upset, her eyes moving around the room, probably thinking about how she could help me.

"So they don't have a clue who did it?"

I shook my head in response.

"Nobody has seen them?"

Second time i shook my head while looking at her. It remained silent for a while in the room, our hands intertwined and both our thoughts somewhere else. "What can i do to help you, Lana?"

I looked into her deep blue eyes and sighed. "I guess it's getting too much, and i just need to breathe for a minute." Billie agreed and let her hand down on my cheek, softly stroking it. I put my head in her hand and smiled sweetly at her, no matter what the situation was, she always managed to calm me down.