All the secrets of a fangirl | B. E. Story |

47.O 5 years

Waves of the sea hit the sand on the beach. The seagulls were calling for food from tourists, and in the distance you could hear the sounds of the fair on the boulevard. Despite the many noises it was quiet on the balcony on which we sat. In my notebook I wrote the words that went through my mind, the thoughts I had and the thousands of scribbles scribbled over my pages inspired me to write more. Lily was sitting on my right side, her long hair was now cut in a bob and she was pale blonde. Her deep emerald green eyes looked at the ocean, as if she was looking for something. We both just started writing right after we woke up.

It's been a long time since I had felt as calm as now. Five long years had flown by, five long but quiet years. The pain I felt from my mother's loss had deteriorated over time, despite she's being missed every single day of my life.

"So thats all of it." Lily closed her notebook with a big smile on her face.

A while ago we left Cali for Los Angeles to rent a beach house. Just for an infinite period of time to find a little peace from the city life. Lily's work had become too much for her, and I had stopped working at the Italian restaurant. Sophie and I still had good contact and we still see each other a lot. It had nothing to do with that, but after leaving Billie people came to the restaurant just for a photo with me, or to see a glance of me working there. And that was enough for me to not like it anymore, the work days became longer and longer. And i was done with people waiting for me in the parking lot to ask for Billie's number.

Talking about Billie, she didn't seem to mind that i left. I was blocked on all her social media accounts, so i didn't know what was going on with her at this time. I knew the whole world suddenly knows who she is, and she is playing at big venues and festivals.. Coachella was coming up again, and she was about to play there again too. This time as big headliner. But that was all the news i heard around her.

"Yeah i'm pretty done too." I stood up from the chair and looked over the ocean. In the distance you could see big yachts passing by, and big working ships. It was a pretty view, which i couldn't get enough off.

"Did you consider going back to Coachella like i asked you?" I could hear Lily ask and my body shivered.

Coachella was a fun idea to go back to after all these years, but i was scared to bump into Billie. Of course the festival was gonna be crowded, and there would be many people. But me being the unfortunate one, would totally bump into her. And see her as many times as was possible to happen there.

"Yeah we could go, but i really don't want to see Billie." Saying her name out loud made me feel like i was gonna throw up. I won't move on from her yet.

"You won't, and if you do i will pull you away from her okay?"

I nodded in agreement, so she walked inside. I could see her sit down at the table and open up the laptop. I stared again at the ocean and tried to focus on the fact that i have to try not to think about her. Shooking my head out of my thoughts i walked inside. "We have to stay on site this year, they have those cute bungalow huts so."

"Yeah sure, just book okay?" In the kitchen I grabbed sandwiches for us and prepared them with chicken fillet and pesto, so we could have lunch and book everything carefully. When I sat down next to Lily, she squeezed my hand as a thank you. I scanned her face and smiled. She has been dealing with my shit over the years, and i couldn't imagine a better friend then her.

Coachella will be just fine.

*Timeskip to the festival.*

When j walked into the hut i finally let my suitcase down on the floor. It was so heavy since i packed up way to many outfits for our days here. Around me i could see the interior and it was pretty cute. The couches were brown leather and on the walls there were hanging many plants in little vases. It was pretty luxurious and the most important; clean.