All the secrets of a fangirl | B. E. Story |

63.O Farm house

"That's right, it's very neat. But do you want to be stuck on a farm forever?" I rolled my eyes at Finneas's words to his younger sister.

Too bad there was no way for me to discuss this with my parents, or siblings. Ever since my mom passed away i felt a big empty hole deep inside my heart, and now that everyone is so negative about something i think is going to be a good idea i miss her even more. "Bro, we could like build a little shed in the backyarden, and get our studio there. Man that'd be dope, wouldn't it?" Billie said, her enthousiasm going through the roof at this point.

"Fin, if she's gonna be happy here.. You should just be positive about it." Maggie nudged, putting her phone away. "And beside that, if somethings gonna happen they can rent it out."

"L-like what's gonna happen?" Crossing my arms while Maggie pulled me into a sidehug after my comment. "Nothings, gonna happen. I'm just saying." I could feel myself calm the fuck down when she said that and sighed out softly. "Okay.."

We made our way downstairs where Mrs. Garcia was sitting at the dinner table, i gave her a small friendly smile trying not to get her hopes up. Ofcourse Billie was way too hyped when she noticed the puppies getting around the corner, cuddling them the minute she let herself lay down on the floor. "We're gonna discuss this thing further at home Mrs. Garcia.. We'll get back at it tommorow." I embraced her in a quick hug and then let go of her.

Lifting Billie up from the ground to get outside, i noticed her big smile on her face. "What?"

"We're so getting this." I laughed softly and shook my head at her. "Nuh-uh. You don't wanna live here Bill.."

"I do, look at the space." Pointing out at the space around the house while we stood outside, made me look around either. She was right, we could indeed build a little shed where she could get a studio.  I could plant some plants outside in the front yard, and we could grow our own fruits and vegetables. I was such a family person, ready for my future with her. But still.

Anxiety eating me up from the inside out, and it was getting worse day by day. I looked over to the rest of the family waiting by their car for us, as Billie put her arm around my waist from the side. Looking deeply into my eyes, a small grin forming on her lips. "Babe, you have to trust me." I shrugged it off and looked down on the ground.

"Babe.." I could hear her repeat what she just said, so i faced her. "The last time, i trusted you fully you ran away with another girl.." My mind went to Madison's ugly face, bad memories coming back again the minute i realised i haven't thought about her in a while. That girl took everything away from me, first my girlfriend.. And then she when she finally had the balls to confront her ex, she thought it was a great idea to kill my mom.

She didn't regret it tho, when the cops confronted her about it she denied it. And i can't seem to find my peace with that, visiting my mom's grave is also a big issue. I can't enter the graveyard without losing my shit the minute i walk in. "Baby, i won't run away.. And please, we have to move on. That was the worst mistake i've ever made."

"That mistake killed my mom." I could feel her thighten her grip and lay both her hands on my cheeks to turn my face to hers. Billie stroking my hair out of my face, with the softest look i've ever seen on her face. "Sorry won't bring your mom back, but i'm deeply sorry for everything that has happened. To you, to us. If i could take it all back, i would. Like right now, but i can't. So please let me fix this." I leaned my head against her hand and smiled, as i could feel myself tear up. I quickly nodded, letting her pull me in her embrace.

"Guys, we gotta get going." Finneas shouting interrupted our little moment we had, so we walked over to them to get going with them.

Tonight Billie was having an intimate concert with just a couple of fans in a old building in the city. They turned it all upside down to made sure there was now a small stage inside, where fans could have a quick meet and greet with her and listen to her song acousticly. But before fans could get inside, Billie had to sign all the cards they were gonna throw in the goodiebags and have a soundcheck to be sure everything was going to be just fine tonight.