°you shouldn't have come along°

▪︎part fourty four▪︎

A soft knock sounded on the door and Y/n quickly climbed to her feet to peek outside. There on the floor were her clothes, neatly folded and put into a pile. She carefully picked them up and changed before going out into the room. Gray sat on his bed, his bare back facing her with his shoulders slumped. She felt guilty yelling at him like that. She was just startled and a little embarrassed. But that didn't mean he deserved that. Taking a deep breath she went over to him, placing her hand on his shoulder. His skin was soft and warm under her palm and he slowly turned to look up at her.

"Hey. I'm sorry for yelling at you. It was really rude and uncalled for." She apologized. He shrugged with a chuckle, "Don't worry. I mean I yelled back so.." He trailed off looking down. She fought herself for the words to say, anything that would make that solemn look on his face go away. But she had nothing. "I'm sorry for telling you about my past." Gray said suddenly. Y/n's heart paused as if a knife had been jutted through it. Didn't he trust her? Was he regretting telling her because he didn't? "What?" Y/n gasped, caught off guard. "I'm sorry for telling you. You probably think differently of me now which has been making everything awkward. I didn't want to make things awkward, I just thought-" He stopped as she sat down next to him. "Grayson stop. Your past doesn't define you. I'm glad you told me. I'm glad I know more about you and I'm sure I'll be learning more. Please don't ever do that, you didn't do anything wrong." She pleaded. He shook his head, "Then why have you been so nervous around me? I make you uncomfortable now don't I?" He questioned. Y/n's face burned in embarrassment as she tried to find a way to avoid the truth. But there wasn't a way. So the truth it was.

"There's this boy. A boy I love very much. He brought me here when Handler offered him a job in management. I've known him all my life and we've loved each other no matter what obstacle the world threw at us. And I've never cared for another male the way I care for him. Until you. I can't explain it but I care about you and I know we haven't known each other long but it feels like I've known you for years. We instantly clicked and got back into this flow that I didn't even know existed-shouldn't exist. What I'm trying to say is that I don't know how I feel about you but all I know is that I have someone else." She explained looking away, ashamed. How could she just spill that all out? There was no coming back from that. At least it wouldn't hurt his feelings since he probably didn't feel the same way she did.

But was she wrong. She perfectly described how he felt with her. He almost couldn't describe it. It was like they had known each other for years and were separated somehow. But now that they were back together they could pick up where they left off. But they didn't know each other. They hadn't left off anywhere and they couldn't be anything. And her words crushed him within for an unknown reason. But he wouldn't let her see.

"Well, we can be friends." He suggested quietly. She nodded, relieved, "Yeah of course, I'd like that very much." She smiled. Gray smiled too, that beautiful charming smile that he always had. But she was blind to the pain behind it. "Ok." Y/n sighed standing up. "I'm going to go grab some breakfast from the shop down the street. You go ahead and shower, I'll be back in a bit." She said rubbing her hands on her pants nervously and he nodded. She quickly turned and made her way out of the motel room, sighing as soon as the door closed behind her. It was agonizing. The whole situation drove her insane. She knew deep down there was somewhere she knew him and that her feelings weren't random. And they weren't new. But when had she met him, if at all?

•••

Her steps were soft as she made her way down the street towards the shop they had passed on their way to the motel. It looked like a simple family owned shop that sold pastries and it seemed perfect for breakfast after their awkward morning. She really needed some food, she couldn't even remember the last time she ate. She let herself think of her family. She also couldn't remember the last time she had talked to her sister's. Maybe they were getting along after being reconnected. She worried for her brothers, wondering if they had escaped Hazel and Cha Cha. But most of all she hoped for Five to come back. He told her to trust him and she did but she was growing restless. How long did they have to play along? Was this the plan? Stay in commission while their family faced the apocalypse? No, Five wasn't that heartless.