Devil's Sinners MC Lost & Found Book 1

Chapter 53

Sami~

Today has been the worst. I have never wanted to hurt someone like I did those men.

Coming after my club because of me, that killed me.

I look back on those years, where my head was so fucked up. I am thankful that Tony sent that package to Padre. That mess is finally done with.

Even tho I wasn't the one to end Gonzalez. It's finally over.

Alright, enough of the pity party. Time to pull up my big girl thing and move on.

Getting up and getting dressed proper is the first step.

Walking out to the bar, I should feel ashamed but I don't. I feel free.

I sit at the bar, "Jack neat" I tell the prospect.

He nods and pours my drink.

Damn that feel good. Slow burn going down.

I feel him before I see him. Talon, the man I never knew I needed. And now I have to let go.

"You good babe?" He ask while sliding his arms around me.

I lean into him, "yeah".

"Dinner be ready in about 5 minutes. Let's get the table before the others get here yeah?" He murmured in my ear.

Walking to the table, "how's Razor and Night?" I ask as we sit.

"They're doing good. Resting. Gonna be sore but nothing broken". He states.

"Good. Happy to know that. Tal, I'm sorry they got hurt because of my shit. Once again, I've brought this bullshit to the club." I almost cry.

"We're in this together babe" he says, holding my hand.

Becki slides plates on the table, so our conversation stops.

It was a comfortable silence tho. Which gave me more time to think. A decision that I've been thinking on for awhile now.

Finishing up eating, I slide my plate away. Sipping a drink, I look at my friends, and the trouble I've brought to them many times.

"I have something I need to tell you all. And please, please know I love each one of you. I've made a decision to step away from the club,to move above the gym, and concentrate on getting it going." I say, looking at each one sitting here.

"No" Talon says shaking his head.

Gunner looks at me sadly. "No babe. We need you" He says.

"No you don't Gunner. Y'all did good before me. And you'll be good after I leave" I say.

Talon puts his hand on my thigh and grips it. "No" he says again.

Ice and Becki look at me, shaking their heads. Hawk looks at me like I've broken his heart.

I stand up, with tears in my eyes,"I do love you all but this is for the best." I say walking to the door and stepping out to my truck.

"Leaving without saying goodbye to us?" I hear Razor ask.

I turn and see the twins standing outside the doors.

"We heard your talk, and got to say Sami, disappointed that you want to walk away." Night says.

"Do me a favor, sit and think of the bullshit that's been going on and the shit I've caused then tell me I'm wrong to walk away" I say, getting a little pissed.

"And what about Prez? Don't you think this is going to hurt him? You think walking away is going to make him stop loving you?" Razor spits out.

"Better now before I cause someone to get killed" I spit back.

"Damnit Sami. Stop living scared to be happy. For once, let you be happy because you deserve it" Night says.

"I can't turn back now guys. I'll see ya around" I say as I get in my truck.

The front door slams open and Talon walks out, I see the hurt and he is pissed.

Tears flow as I start the truck and drive out the gate.

What the fuck have I done? I can't stop crying. Did I make the right choice? Is this really what needs done?

Fuck! I've really messed it all up.

Pulling into the drive, I need to pack my stuff at Talons place. The tears have blurred my vision, it hurts.

Wiping my tears, I open the front door and his smell hits me. Fuck me. And more tears. I'm a fucking mess. This isn't me, I don't cry. I haven't cried like this in fucking years. And the guilt I have? Yeah good job Sami.

Grabbing a duffle bag, I start throwing in my clothes, I get it full and closed. I'll take these to my son's house and get enough clothes for awhile.

The bathroom is next, I never realized the crap I had here.

I finish that and sit on the bed. Grabbing his pillow one last time. His scent. I don't think I have any tears left.

"You've really fucked this up Sami" I say out loud as I put his pillow back.

"It's all fixable sweetheart" I hear him say.

I freeze, "no Tal. Not this time. You need to let me go"

"I'll never let you go. We were made for each other." He says coming up behind me.

"I need time away to get my head right" I almost whisper.

"That's fine. But don't leave here to do it. I need you sweetheart. Have to have you close" he says close to my ear.

Wrapping his arms around my waist, I lean back into him.

It feels good, feels like home. And in that instant, I realize that I'm wrong. That I don't need to leave to get my head right.

I'm so fucked up I can't even think straight.

Talon picks me up and sits on the bed with me. Holding me, trying to soothe this ache I feel. Rubbing up and down my back.

I let myself feel it all.

Letting the past go, is hard, but easier than losing my future. My future. My club. My Talon.

#A/N
I have more written but stuck in the next series of events.
Thank you all so much for reading this so far. As always, comments, suggestions and opinions are welcome.