Why? ~Jaden Hossler~

Chapter 4

So.... It's been a few days now since I found out that Johnny was cheating on me. I've been crying for most of the time and I didn't leave the house, actually not even my room. When I say a few days I mean one and a half week. Yep, that's how it's been. I have been wearing the same sweatpants and hoodie, that is actually Anthony's. I felt disgusting, but I could care less. The boys have been trying to get me out of my room and out of the house. They wanted me to go to a party last night. It didn't work. I haven't really been eating a lot and if I'm honest I'm not even hungry. Avani and I have been texting since last week. I really do miss her. She is coming over tonight with some of the other girls. I hope I can manage to not cry and just have a good Girls night.

It's now 6 pm. The girls are coming at 8 pm. I decided to go downstairs, out of my room. When I came into the kitchen all the guys were there too. They all smiled at me softly and Anthony walked over to me and gave me a hug. I wanted to cry but I kept it together. "It's gonna get better", he said. I just nodded and got some water. I sat down in between Anthony and Bryce. I just listened to their conversations and was wondering off in my thoughts. I got out of my thoughts when someone was hugging me from behind. Jaden. I actually haven't talked to him the whole week. And yes I didn't talk that much to the guys, but actually nothing to Jaden. "How are you?", he whispered in my ear. I just nodded and hugged him back. I missed talking to him about whatever. I wanted to tell him how mad I was and how upset I was. I wanted to tell him that I miss my dad and my stepbrother. I just couldn't. Mads have been around almost every day and if they were not at the house they were on a date.

After an hour chilling with the guys and sometimes joining their conversations, I stood up. "I'm going to shower", I said softly. The guys nodded. "Can I have my hoodie back, it's my favorite one", Anthony asked, sticking out his bottom lip. I chuckled and said, "yeah, I'm gonna wash it for you". "Ahhhh, there is that smile again!", Griffin yelled. I couldn't help not to laugh and walked back upstairs. Man I love these guys.

I grabbed some clean leggings and an oversized sweater that I bought 3 weeks ago before I left Tennessee. I was about to get my clothes off when somebody knocked om my closed bedroom door. "Yeah", I said. "Can we talk?", Jaden asked sticking his head in the gap of the door. I nodded and sat on my bed. Jaden closed the door and sat next to me. "Are you really okay, or?", he asked. "No, not really. But I'm trying", I said smiling weakly. "You don't have to act happy for me, what's going on. Besides Johnny", he said. I looked down at my hands, starting to tear up. "I just don't get is Jaden.... Everyone keeps leaving me.... I just.... Am I not good enough", I said. The last part I whispered, but Jaden heard me. "Kate don't say that. You ARE good enough, more than enough. Johnny is just stupid. If he doesn't see the amazing girl he had, then it's his loss", he said lifting my head up with his hands on my cheeks. "It's not only that, Jae", I said. He looked at me confused. "First it's my mom, my dad, then David and now him too", I said. "That is not your fault, you know that", he said back.

Here is another backstory:

I never knew my mom. Her and my dad were together in high school. They broke up mid junior year and my dad quit school to focus on motor crossing. He wasn't living home anymore. He lived on his own together with his older sister, my aunt. After 9 month my mom came to my dad's house. She said she was pregnant with his child and didn't want her, that was me. She said, "take her or give her up for adoption, I don't want her". And she walked off. My dad never saw her again.

My dad raised me mostly on his own. My aunt raised me for the first years of my live. I always was homeschooled or did online schooling. My dad and I traveled the world. We went to Europe, Australia and most states in the US. It was amazing to see all these countries, for the ones I can remember. My dad gave me a camera for my 7th birthday. Since then I made pictured everywhere we went. I made pictured of the cities or from my dad when he was at a race. I love taking pictures, a lot of them are in my room or back at Jaden's house. We lived in Amsterdam, for 2 years before we moved to go live permanently in Tennessee. I was 10 years old at that time. That is when I met Jaden. My dad and his parent knew each other from high school. Jaden and I were immediately best friends. If I wasn't at his house he would be at mine.

When I was 12 my dad met a woman who he married pretty fast. She had a son and they moved in with us. David, my stepbrother, was 19 at that time. He and I became really close and he felt like my own brother. He was in the army tho, so after half a year of living with us he had to leave for training in Iran. I really missed him, but he always said he was coming back and he always did. As I told you earlier my dad died when I was 14. After two months of my dad's passing my stepmom got a new boyfriend. It was hard seeing another man in my house that was my dad's. Her boyfriend wasn't the best. He was drunk most of the time and abusive. And mostly towards me.

One night he got into an argument with David, about him treating his mom the way he did. He was drunk, as always, and David was just trying to prove a point. I came downstairs at the wrong time and got hit with a beer bottle and fell to the ground unconscious. David told me that the boyfriend wanted to hit him instead of me at the hospital. He also told me that I'm never going back to that house. David already got all my stuff in his car so I didn't had to grab them. After I got released from the hospital I lived with David for a while. He had an apartment with one of his friends from the army. After 2 weeks he had to leave for the army again and I started to live with Jaden for a while.

When he came back from training, after 3 months, he took me to a concert for my birthday. I was about to turn 16 in a week, and it was our favorite band. When we were driving home we got stopped by two cars. One in the front and one in the back of our car. The headlights from both the cars were shining bright and we couldn't see who was standing beside the car. After a minute we hear gunshots and I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and stomach. As the cars were driving off, I looked at David. He had 3 bullet holes in his chest, and it was bleeding a lot. The last thing I remembered is that he said, "I love you.... I will always be looking over you...". He died because of his injuries. The police never caught the guy who did it. And my stepmom thought I killed her son. After all of that Jaden's mom got legal gradience of me and I lived with them since the day we left for LA.

Losing my dad was one thing, but losing my best friend and the only brother that I had was too much. Since that day I was scared of ever losing someone again. I got cheated on twice now and I was so done with giving my everything to someone I love and then them leaving me.

"I just want it all to stop, I can't lose anyone anymore", I said looking at the floor. "You are not, Kate", Jaden said. "Are you sure?", I asked, looking at him. "What do you mean?", he said. "Jae, we haven't talked for a whole week and I don't want to blame anyone, but ever since you got with Mads we haven't been talking as much as we used to," I said, "and I know how busy you are with music and stuff. And I am so proud of you, but I just miss you.... Our friendship". I looked down at my hand, scared for his reaction. He took my hands in his, that made me look up. "I'm sorry", he said pulling me into a hug. "It's fine, Jae", I said. It was not, but I don't want him to feel too guilty. "Just remember that you're are the most important person in my live, and you will always be. Not my girlfriend, not my friends, maybe not even my mom. YOU, okay?", he said pulling out of the hug. "Your mom is more important", I answered smiling. He shook his head and pulled me in another hug. "I love you, Butterfly." "I love you too, Jae." We pulled out of the hug and he left my room. I took my clothes to the bathroom and went into the shower. Let's get ready for Girls night!