Why? ~Jaden Hossler~

Chapter 21

It's currently 5 am. Avani and I have been awake for an hour now. We both couldn't sleep so we decided to just talk, before she had to leave for the airport with Anthony. We just talked about some stuff and cried some more. "Jaden is mad at me, isn't he?", I asked looking down. "No, he's not. He is just upset", she said holding my hand. "Because we promised to never leave each other... I hate to see him like this", I said tears already in my eyes. "He is so broken and I'm just leaving like that. I should be there for him", I said. "Kate, you and Jaden are best friends. You are there for each other no matter what, even if you're not together", she said, "Why doesn't he just come with you?" "He can't, he has meetings for his music and stuff", I said looking up. She nodded. "Just talk to him before you leave. He'll understand, I promise", she said taking me in for a hug. "Thanks, Vani", I said. She smiled at me and we both got ready for the day. Avani and I were done, and we went downstairs. Anthony was also up, and we decided to get breakfast for everyone. Starbucks as usual. After an hour we came back and everyone was awake, and we ate. I saw that Jaden wasn't here, so I grabbed his drink and some food and walked up to his room.

I knocked on his door. "Leave me alone, Ant", he mumble probably still in his bed. "Well, luckily I'm not him", I said walking in. He looked up from his pillow and saw me. I smiled at him, but he buried his face back in his pillow. "I don't wanna talk", he mumbled not looking up. I ignored it and walked to his bed and put his drink and food on his nightstand. I sat on the edge of the bed. "Jaden, please", I said looking at the back of his head. After a few minutes he turned around and looked up at the sealing. His eyes were red and is face was tear stained. He looked awful, I'm not gonna lie. There was an awkward silence. Eventually I decided to speak up. "Jae, I know we promised to never leave each other, but I can't do this anymore", I said tearing up. "Why didn't you tell me?", he asked quietly. "What?", I said with a shaky voice. "Why didn't you tell me it was so bad? Why didn't you come to me about it?", he asked slightly raising his voice. He was now looking at me. I looked away from him not wanted to see his disappointment. "I- I was scared", I said stuttering. "One more reason to tell me", he said sitting up. "I just couldn't, okay?", I said softly. "Why not?", he asked still looking at me. "I-I just didn't wanna make you upset for no reason and be a burden", I said fast still not making eye contact. "Kate... look at me", he said. I looked up and our eyes locked on each other. "You, are NEVER a burden, okay? And yes it would make me upset. You know why? Because I love you so much and seeing you break down like that breaks my heart. I want to be there for you no matter what. Even when my heart is aching", he said tears in his eyes. His voice cracked at the end and a tear rolled down his cheek. "I'm sorry", I said tears also running down my face. "Please don't apologize", he said. I looked up at him and we hugged. I was sobbing in the crook of his neck. I never wanted to let go, but eventually we did. "Are you really leaving?", he asked. "Uhm... yes", I said. He looked upset. "Okay...", he said looking down. "Jae, I'm not leaving you behind. I just need time to figure out myself and what I want", I said. "I know and I want you to. But I'll miss you", he said looking up. "And I'll miss you", I said. "Just remember that you're the most genuine and loving person I know. You are so strong, and you've gone thru so much. And I know you'll get thru this too. And I will always be there for you, even if it means we're not together", he said taking my hands in his. "Don't believe anything they say, okay", he said looking at me. I nodded and he pulled me in for a hug. Honestly he gives the best hugs. We pulled away and smiled at each other. "I brought you breakfast", I said pointing at the food. "Thanks", he said smiling slightly. He took a sip from his coffee and ate some of his food. "Can we cuddle?", he asked. I nodded. He moved a bit and pulled his covers up so I could move under them. I laid down and wrapped my arms around his bare torso. He put his arms around my waist, and we moved closer to each other. "I love you, Jae", I mumbled in his chest. "I love you more", he said before we both fell asleep.