You Again

84

*Fani's POV*

I know this is all my fault. I should've "stole" Niall from Maura. It was wrong. Maura have more rights to Niall than me. Who am I to her? Just a girl who happens has the same face as his son's late girlfriend. What if after this, she will hate me even more? It's so hard to make her to like me and then this happen, it feels so impossible!

I can't stop biting my nails and walk back and forth in my living room thinking about what am I going to explain to Maura if she ever wants to meet me. What if she wanted me to leave Niall and never speak to him again? What if she moved and bring Niall with her so that I won't get to meet him again?

Oh, Fani! Think logically. This is reality. There are no such things as overly dramatic lifes. Just normal ones with very strict parents. Maura wouldn't be that dramatic...right?

After all this thinking, it felt like I was suffocating in this big living room. I need to get some fresh air and need some peaceful place to think.

So, I grabbed my purple jacket from the hook and walk out of my house without even thinking to lock the front door.

I can't think of any peaceful place in this neighbourhood, so I ended up in the park.

It was nice to see children playing, running and jumping around in the playground. They look so happy like no problems even occured to them. I wish I was a kid again. So I can restart my life back and maybe I'll never met Harry nor Niall and I'll never moved to Ireland. Just stay in London peacefully, with my old friends and both of my parents there.

Unfortunately, reality is not like that. You have to face reality for you to live with your life. Yes, it has its ups and downs but it doesn't mean we can't get through it. Everybody can get through it, its just depends if you're weak or strong.

The strong will end up to a better life. Being rich or just simply being happy with their little pleasures. The weak...well, all they could think of is...suicide.

I was once almost in the weak category. I was useless when I was inlove with Harry. And I was even more useless when I found out he cheated on me. I thought being with Harry might make me happy and being useful again but apperently not. I almost killed myself in my own room with a razor in my hand pressing on my green veins. Luckyly, I was still sane and I threw the razor out of the window. I get through all this by just simply let it all out by crying none stop. I don't care if I cry infront of my friends and family, as long as I don't want to be that weak girl anymore.

Crying infront of people doesn't mean you're weak. And crying doesn't even define your weakness. If you want to let it out, then let it be. Just let that salty tears stream down your cheeks and sob. You are strong enough to let people see you cry. I don't understand why people keep saying that crying is for the weak.

That was me. The girl who cried everyday. Now I am not that girl anymore. I am trying to be a new girl. The girl who is strong to get through her harsh life. People may see that I'm just a normal girl with normal lifes. But the truth is, I am not. Even Eric don't even know what's happening in my life.

Every strong girl also have their weakness. I thought I could be that strong girl forever until Niall came along. He was my weakness. I do cry alot caused of him but that doesn't mean I can't be strong again. Niall was just so heart warming and melting that I can't be that strong girl infront of him. Whenever I stare at those oceanic blue eyes, my knees would go weak. And that's what I love about Niall. He is not just my weakness, but also my strength. Niall was with me the whole week when he knew that I need comfort from the news I got that my dad had a minor heart attack.

I was walking along the path, staring down at my feet kicking small pebbles. I lift my head up until I saw someone I didn't want to see ever again...