Thank god the eating part was over, I thought, parking my ass back on the sun lounge. It wss an awkward affair, made more awkward by the fact that I was just plain awkward. Even more so around my family.
Now I was on the count down until I could actually leave. I'd wait a polite amount of time, then I'm out of here.
I closed my eye's, thinking about everything, my life, my family, or lack of family. If it wasn't for my Nanna I would have left. Nan actually treated me like I was a person, not an inconvenience and I missed her. She was off cruising the Caribbean with her 80 year old boyfriend. God, everyone had a boyfriend except me, even Nan. She was my mothers mother and we'd always been close. She always went out of her way to make me feel special, I guess because nobody else ever did.
Oh god, I needed to stop thinking. I was close to crying, crying over my shitty little life.
"Put sunscreen on me." Cara's whiny voice interrupted my thoughts.
She was sitting on the edge of the pool and she was talking to Matt. Of course she was, only why she didn't just say 'Fuck me Matt' because it was quiet obvious that's what she meant.
I watched Matt take the sunscreen off her. I stood up. I'd really had enough.
"I'm going." I called grabbing my bag. Not that anyone would give a fuck.
"It's early Isabella." My mother stated.
"Yeah well I've got plans." I lied.
Plans. As if.
"Hmph. Okay." She grumped.
"I'll walk you to your car." Kim said, getting up.
"That's fine. I'm okay." But I knew that wouldn't make a difference.
I headed for the door.
"See ya." I called back.
I glanced at Matt, he was standing on the steps of the pool. He smiled and waved.
Yeah fuck you too, I thought waving back. I suddenly hated him.
"Are you okay sweety?" Kim asked when we got to my car. "You seem a little off."
I guess what she meant was I seemed a little more moodier than usual.
"I'm fine. Just thinking maybe it's time for me to move away, move on."
"Oh Bella." She whispered, pulling me into her arms.
I acted tough and like I didn't care, but I did, alot. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be hated by your family, yet have no idea why they hate you?
I rested my head on her shoulder and cried. She was used to me crying on her shoulder, she was the one I went to when I needed someone. It used to be Matt, but not anymore.
"You need to do what's best for you."
I nodded and wiped my face. "I do and I think I've had enough, I think I deserve more."
She nodded, smiling at me. "As long as I know where you are."
"Of course." I told her, climbing into my car. "Your like my mother."
She blew me a kiss as I drove off and it made me start crying again, crying for all the things I'd missed out on growing up, stuff other kids took for granted.
That was it, as soon as I got home I jumped on the Internet. San Francisco looked good, plenty of teaching jobs, lots of places to live and not a single member of my family.
Sadly that's what I found the most appealing.
