"Here." Nanna said, handing me a box.
I looked at it.
"It has some of Tony's things in it, your father." My father.
I couldn't stop crying. I'd been lied to by everybody in my family, for years, I'd been treated like shit for years because of my father.
"Bella sweety." Nanna said hugging me again. "I'll leave you to look through his things." She kissed my head. "But sing out if you need me."
I watched her walk into her room through the tears in my eyes. I wiped the tears from my face but as soon as I did they were replaced by new ones.
I looked at the box Nanna gave me. It was a shoe box. That was it. Just a shoe box. How was it that all that was left of someone could fit in a shoe box?
My father.
I sobbed loudly, for him, for myself. For never getting to know him, for the life I could have had.
"Oh Bella." Nan said coming back out and pulling me into her arms. "Let me."
She took the box and removed the lid.
"Your father, well he's not really your father, but he thinks your mother got rid of everything, but she didn't. She's kept this here, to remember him."
My mother, the cold hearted bitch, kept some of his things? I just couldn't picture it.
Nanna reached in and pulled out a watch. His watch, and it hurt my heart just looking at it.
"Your mother still comes over and looks in this box Bella. She sits in my room crying, for hours."
My mother did that? I couldn't believe it. Not my mother.
"Here." Nanna said, handing me a photo.
I looked at it and all my breath left my body.
"Do you see Bella?" She said quietly.
Oh I saw. I had his black hair and his dark skin tone. I looked just like him.
"You look so much like him. You were named after his mother, Isabella. I miss him, he really was a special man."
Nanna went quiet and I realised she was trying not to cry.
"He would be very proud of you."
I burst into tears again. My life could have been so different. How was any of this fair?
"You know your mother looks at you Bella and her heart breaks all over again."
No. That was a lie. Not my mother. I wouldn't believe that. Ever.
I sat there for awhile, looking at things. It physically hurt me and I felt like I was dying inside.
After a while Nanna tucked me into bed. I'd drank too much Jack Daniels, I was incapable of driving anywhere.
"I'm not sorry I told you Bella." Nan said, tucking me in and kissing my forehead. "You deserved to know and it'll be okay. You'll be okay."
Would I? I was unsure of what I was going to do with this information. Would I tell my parents I knew? I just didn't know.
I layed there listening to Nanna potter around the house, going about her nightly routine and only after she'd turned the lights off and gone to bed I started crying again.
What the hell was I going to do?
I reached over and grabbed my phone, calling the only person who I thought would understand.
"Izzy?"
"Matt." I sobbed.
"Izzy, what is it, what's wrong?"
"Matt." I was incapable of speaking, I couldn't stop crying.
"Izzy, your scaring me."
Suddenly in the background I heard a voice, her voice.
"Who is it Matt, who's on the phone?" Cara.
"She's there?" I cried.
"What? No, well yes, but Izzy it's....."
I hung up before he could finish. I didn't want to hear it. He was with her and I hated him for that.
I'd never felt so alone in my life.
