Trust Me

Chapter 52

*Warning: angst, smut!, and Freya and Anya just being Freya and Anya

Sweat was dripping on our faces and Henry rested his forehead on mine. His breathing was slowing down by the second, but mine wouldn't stop speeding up.

I love you

These three words kept spinning over my head as I was staring at the ceiling. 

Why did he have to say it?

Do I have to say it back now?

What if I don't ?

Will he think I don't love him back?

I do love him. 

And what if I say it?

Will he leave me as well?

Henry's voice was distorted, his stubble softly scratching my cheeks as he was pressing small pecks on my face. His hands caressing my face and hair , trying to bring me back to reality.

"Mia, you're alright?" his voice was now more clear, but felt more like a concerned whisper.  I nodded my head as a whimper escaped my mouth. I could feel Henry's electric blue eyes staring at me concerned. "What's wrong?" he asked softly as his big hands cupped my face.

"Nothing." I shook my head while trying to smile. My hands wandered in his biceps as I brought him in for a deep kiss. I didn't want to worry him. I don't want him to know that I'm so broken, so hurt , that I can't even say that I love him back. 

I felt a tear rolling down Henry's cheek before he broke off the kiss. "I'm sorry" he was almost whimpering.

"Why are you apologizing?"   I brushed the tear off his cheek with my one hand, while the other was gently caressing his semi wet curls.

"For saying that I love you. I couldn't help it, I've been trying to tell you so long now, but never found the right time." he paused to catch his breath. "But now you look so beautiful, and I can't believe I actually have you here, naked, in my arms. I know it took you lots of strength to be where you are now, and I'm selfish for saying it." He was quivering as tears were rolling down his face. I quickly brushed all the tears away as I cupped his face, trying to get him to look at me.

"It's okay, it's okay." I cooed at him, trying to reassure him. His breathing got faster as he buried his face on the crook of my neck. His hands wrapped around my waist as he tried to control his breathing. After a while he lifted his head and looked at me, his tears now dried.

"No, it's not okay. I know it's hard for you to hear it, let alone say it back. I know you haven't been okay since everything happened with Steph and your mum. I know you've been trying to hide it, but I know. So me saying it, doesn't make it any easier for you."  He talked really fast, as if he was anxious, and I couldn't help but let out a silent gasp.

I never told him that after I picked my stuff from my home my mum never spoke to me again. I never told him that I was talking every now and then with my sister and she was only telling me how our mum was still angry at me and was yelling in the background that she would never forgive me. I never told him that the last time I spoke to my sister my mum told her to tell me that she never wanted to see me in front of her because I left without any notice, because she stills thinks I disrespect Steph by bringing Henry with me. I never told him that it has been weeks since I spoke last to my sister, and it hurt like hell. We used to be so close before I started travelling around the world, but even then we would always message each other. I never told him that I'm scared that our mum has somehow managed to brainwash my sister, so that she didn't want to speak to me again. I never told him that me and my sister never said bye when we hanged up, but I'll see you later. But the last time she called me she said bye. It's been 3 weeks, and I still haven't heard from her and I've started to get worried. I know she's giving her finals in uni now, but she could at least let me know that she's okay.