Niall Horan Imagines

Close to Him

It was as if everything went still when you opened the door to see Niall, of all people, standing behind it. Your heart skipped a beat, your mind was racing, and your voice missed its cue to speak. You stared at him, your mouth slightly agape. With your hand still wrapped tightly around the doorknob,you settled your eyes on his as if searching for something. He stared back at you the same way, and for the first time in a long while, Niall felt alive. He felt like someone had breathed life into him and there were no words to describe it. It was strange to him, as he didn’t know it was possible to be so attached to one person.

You stumbled over your own words and a smile spread across Niall’s face. It wasn’t a cocky smile; it was more of an ‘I completely understand’ smile. He’d been at a loss of the right words for some time, too. But sometimes when you can’t find the right words, it’s because words aren’t necessary. The mutual feeling in the air spoke with a bigger voice than anything else could. Your breath caught in your throat and your voice was strangled and cracked as you asked, “Niall... what—what are you doing here?”

He dropped his eyes only to raise them again. He shook his head and swallowed, averting his stare in another direction. His mouth was open but no words came out until he brought his eyes back to you. “I don’t know,” He told you. It wasn’t the answer you were looking for, yet part of you felt as if it was the best answer. This was only proof that Niall didn’t have a reason for being there; he didn’t need a reason to come to you after all this time. He didn’t question himself, or anything, really. He let his mind lead the way and this is where it took him—to your door.

Your eyes danced with his like they spoke a language of their own. He slowly blinked once and you inhaled a sharp breath. You tilted your head, and with slightly furrowed eyebrows you asked, “Would you like to come inside?” He pressed his lips together and shyly nodded his head once. You stepped aside, and Niall hesitated for a second, as if asking for permission that he already had. You hid behind the door as he almost carefully stepped into your apartment. If the situation wasn’t already overwhelming enough, something even more powerful hit him the very second his foot touched the floor of your apartment. He remembered all the times he’d walked through that doorway, all the times he’d stood in your apartment much like he did now. He thought of how easily he had taken those little things for granted.

Looking around, he could see that not much had changed. He felt like it had been years since he’d been in there, when in reality; it had only been a matter of months. But everything felt stiller than he remembered it. There wasn’t even a breeze that passed by, and he remembered your place feeling much livelier than it did now. One must consider that this space was used to being occupied by two people most of the time, and now it was just you. The atmosphere seemed to settle down with loss of action. Now only one pair of feet walked through that door every day, only one voice bounced off the walls, only one heart beat there. Niall ran his fingers across the table that stood near the door and dust collected on his fingertips. His eyes flickered to the picture frame that still stood on that same table. His emotions clicked inside of him and a few loos tears sprung to his eyes as he took the picture frame in his hands. He smiled a little, tracing his fingers over the picture inside. It was a gift he’d given to you on the last anniversary you celebrated together—a picture he had professionally taken, in which his arms were wrapped around you and he kissed the side of your face while you smiled with your eyes on the ground. The photo was edited so that all of the color had been taken from it, leaving behind a memory in black-and-white.

He glanced over his shoulder at you. You stood behind him, with your arms crossed and a biting urge inside of you. It was an urge that made you want to hold Niall and to remember what it felt like to be close to him. He mindlessly rubbed the frame with his thumb and held it up to you, bringing it to your attention. Your gaze moved to the frame in his hands before flickering back to his eyes. You blinked a few times, trying to fight back those few little tears that appeared out of nowhere. But then you saw that Niall’s eyes were watery too, as he whispered, “You kept it.”

You breathed through your nose and nodded your head. “Of course I kept it,” You said. Your eyes slowly scanned over his figure as he stood before you, dropping his stare back to the photo. It was amazing to him, just how much that one picture stood for. And the fact that you still had it in your possession and on display where anyone could see gave him an ounce of hope that he wasn’t certain he’d have otherwise. He came to you with all the right feelings in his own heart, but he wasn’t sure if you’d share those feelings. As he stared down at the picture, it became clear to him that maybe you did share those feelings.

“But, I mean, you didn’t put it away or hide it… or even move it somewhere else. It’s right here, right where it’s been since I gave it to you,” Niall said, more to himself than to anyone else. His voice had a hint of awe in it. In the time you’d been separated, he was certain that you hated him. He was certain that there was nothing left between the two of you, just by the words you spat at him right before he slammed the door and disappeared. At that time, he thought he’d never come back again, yet here he stood—in the very place it all fell apart, which also happened to be the very place it all began.

A tear slid down his face and fell onto the picture, which was protected by a sheet of glass in the frame. He nibbled on his quivering lip and blinked as warm tears flooded his vision. He inhaled sharply and reached up to wipe at his eyes. Your tongue slowly licked over your lips before you told him in a shaky and breathless voice, “I look at it every day.”

It was like the sun opened up inside of Niall. He felt a strong happiness hitting him, and he smiled as he looked over at you. He knew then that you hadn’t given up on him, just like he hadn’t given up on you. He knew there was life in a relationship he thought, but hadn’t hoped, had died. Among everything else, there was still love there. Nothing else could please Niall more than to know this. You softly smiled at him in return before he turned to set the frame back down. His touch lingered there for a second until he faced you again.

Niall took a step closer to you and held his hand out, offering it to you. You stared into his eyes a while longer before placing your hand in his. His touch was the last spark that you needed. It felt just like it always had. With your hand in his, as cliché as it sounds, you felt the world stopping around you. There was nothing else there but you and him. You were in a world of your own with Niall. Niall took your other hand, too, and pulled you as close to him as possible. Your body was pressed against his, your faces only inches apart as his lips hovered over yours. His cool breath blew across your skin and his eyes dropped to your lips. He wanted to kiss you then more than he ever had before. One of his hands unfolded from yours and he brought a finger to your face, stroking your skin. He then placed that finger under your chin and tilted your chin so that your lips were at a perfect angle for him. His eyes fluttered closed and he brought his lips to meet yours. He only pecked you at first, but when he went in for the second time, he held that kiss so long that you were both struggling to breathe.

When you did finally pull apart, only because you were desperate for air, Niall’s forehead rested against yours. His eyes met with yours again, now much closer than before. He blinked slowly, and it was then that you realized what it meant;

I still love you.