𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒆𝒊𝒅 𝑶𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔

Gone

Trigger Warning: Violence, Abuse, Alcoholism

I feel really bad portraying him in such a bad way in this story but I hope it was okay. 

If you ever ever EVER need someone to talk to I'm always here :) <3

 love at first sight. they were the words you would have used to describe your relationship with Spencer Reid. It was true, at the beginning. When you first met you found that you were both drawn to each other in a way that you couldn't imagine, it was if the universe were forcing you together. Spencer, when you first met him, was a most certainly intriguing man. He stepped into the briefing room, his hair was slicked back and it reached under his ears, his brown eyes filled with excitement and wonder. You couldn't help but smile when you saw his glasses hanging on the very tip of his nose, threatening to fall and make a complete fool of him. Your (e/c) eyes locked with his and he gave you a wonky smile, you felt the butterflies in your stomach begin to flutter and you mentally cursed at yourself, this was not a guy you could easily forget.

The two of you hit it off straight away and within two months you spent nearly every waking moment together. You could sit and watch him go on his little nerdy rants for hours on end and before you knew it you realised that you had fallen for the boy genius that seemed to take up your thoughts 24/7. Six months later was when you two first kissed and from that moment on you swore to each other that you would never leave, everyone knows by now that it never lasts.

As time went on you watched Reid transform from an innocent, excitable and overall pleasant person to something much worse. Spencer had changed since he was kidnapped, of course, that was to be expected but what confused you the most was when he began to return to his normal self, only then to become an angry, aggressive and sometimes violent man. You had tried to help him and support him through whatever was troubling him, yet every time you did he would push you away.

The first time he hit you, he was drunk and could barely form a sentence without stuttering or hiccuping. He groaned as he threw the empty bottle of whiskey across the floor, shattering it and sending shards of glass across the kitchen floor. You yelped at the loud smash and rushed to grab a dustpan and brush, you weren't sure why he was being so angry today but as per usual when you confronted him about it he just yelled in your face and began to rummage through the liquor cabinet. Much to his dismay, you had emptied it earlier that day while he was at work finishing some paperwork from your most recent case. You winced as a small shard of glass imbedded itself into the sole of your foot, Spencer rushed over to you and grabbed your face in his hands. For the first time in weeks, you saw real sincerity and guilt in his eyes.

"I'm s-sorry *hiccup* are you okay?"

"yeah," you inhaled through your teeth and avoided eye contact with him, he lifted your chin with his hands, slightly too rough as you winced yet again. He forced you to look straight in his eyes "don't lie to me y/n" all guilt washed off his face and his gaze seemed like it was going to burn a hole straight into your head.

"I didn't lie," you said, raising your voice ever so slightly and he clearly noticed. "YES, YOU DID. DONT YOU DARE RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME" he screamed, you could smell the whiskey in his breath, it made you gag slightly. Before you knew what was happening his palm collided with your cheek, you yelped and squirmed from underneath his grasp and ran to the bathroom, tears were welling in your eyes as you inspected the red mark on the side of your face. "(y/n) I'm sorry please come out" he gently knocked on the bathroom door, you knew you really should have called someone and gotten out of the apartment that second but there was something about his voice that made you know he was being sincere. You twisted the lock and could hear him behind the door as it clicked open, his face was red with tear stains and his hair was roughed up.

"I'm so so sorry, I love you" he whispered in your ear as he gave you an almost bone-crushing hug, your breath caught in your throat at the words, did he just say he loved you?

"I love you too" you whispered back, you were torn. You truly did love him but what if he hit you again? what if he takes it too far next time? all your thoughts melted away when you felt Reid kiss your cheek where he had slapped you.

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A year had passed and with every passing day Spencer got worse, he just wasn't the same man anymore. It was almost routine now, he would scream and yell, he would hit you, apologise and every single time you forgave him. You couldn't handle the stares from the rest of the BAU when they saw a new bruise forming somewhere on your face and arms. How the hell had he turned from one of the sweetest people on the planet to someone who terrified you with their every move. 

"I can't do this anymore Spence" you managed to force out through your tears, his face was filled with rage but it seemed as if a slither of remorse was still remaining in his eyes. The tears in his eyes began to pour, soaking his shirt as they fell. Your throat was aching from screaming and your cheek was throbbing, he had slapped you again but this time it held more force than the rest. "no. you can't. please (Y/N), I love you" this time you saw right through his facade, he may have loved you but you couldn't do it anymore, you hated to admit it but you still loved him, the old him. You thought back to the times where the two of you would laugh and throw popcorn at each other, arguing over something stupid that was happening in the movie. You remember the way the team teased you when they first found out you were together. A small smile spread across your face for the first time in months, he dropped to his knees in front of you. 

"I don't." the smile that once was there turned back into a frown as you let the words slip from your lips, he tried to grab your hand but you retracted it quickly and stood back up.

"what's that supposed to mean?" the rage was returning to his voice and his grip tightened around your wrist. 

"I don't love you anymore" the words felt wrong and right at the same time, it was a lie but it felt good telling him that he had no control over you. His face fell and he once again dropped to his knees, the tears were flooding out of his eyes and onto the floor leaving a small, growing puddle in front of him. You snatched your bag from the walk-in wardrobe, you had this bag packed from the first time he had hurt you and now you had to use it. You gripped the door handle and gave him one last look, it seemed for a moment as if he was back to his usual self but any hope you managed to muster in those split seconds quickly faltered as he smashed yet another glass on the floor. "goodbye Spence".

And with that, you left. Not looking back to see the broken man kneeling on the floor, screaming and crying for you to come back. This time it was real, you were gone.

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Word Count: 1336 Words

Hope you liked it! believe me, the next one will be happier, I feel like I've been doing loads of sad ones so the next one will be more positive!!

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once again, tysm for 1k reads, or reids as I like to say :)

if you have any ideas for a one-shot please let me know!!!!!!!!

good morning/afternoon/night - Mae xoxo