𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆𝒓 𝑹𝒆𝒊𝒅 𝑶𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒔

Let Me Help (Part 1)

In this story, I'll be changing a couple of things, Maeve still dies but Reids reaction is gonna be slightly different! hope you enjoy ;)

Bang.

One pull of a trigger and Reids life fell apart. He had never met Maeve before but he knew that she was the only one for him. It had been two months since her death and Reid had fallen back into old habits, he had started taking Dilaudid again to try and ease some of the pain, he kept telling himself that it helped but in all honesty, it made him feel worse. The whole team had seen what had happened to him and tried to be supportive but every time someone thought they were making progress he would push them away. It hurt them all seeing how much pain the young genius was in, but it hurt one person the most, (Y/N).

She had been in love with Reid for over a year but she knew he didn't love her back, when Reid and Maeve first got together (Y/N) couldn't help but feel jealous but when she saw just how happy she made him nearly all the jealousy disappeared. Now she sat outside his door, unsure whether to knock or not. She knew that he would probably ignore her but there was still a small part of her that held onto hope that he would answer and let her help.

She gently knocked before beginning to speak, "h-hey Spence, I know you're in there. Don't feel like you need to come out, I-I don't really know why I came here but I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you. If you need anything, I mean anything don't be afraid to ask. I miss you." she began to walk away but spun back around when she heard a lock click and quiet footsteps. When she turned she was met with a broken man, his eyes were red and swollen, his hair was knotted and tangled and his clothes were covered in stains and what looked like blood. (Y/N)'s breath caught in her throat at the sight, she ran over to him and embraced him in a hug. He flinched slightly before collapsing in her arms, he began sobbing into the crook of her neck as she rubbed soothing circles into his back.

"shh shh it's okay" she whispered into his ear, he pulled away from her and looked down at the ground, he couldn't bring himself to look her in the eyes. (Y/N) lifted his chin with her thumb and index finger, forcing him to make eye contact. He braced himself to be met with rage or disappointment coming from (Y/N) but instead, her eyes showed nothing but sympathy and admiration. "I-I'm sorry" he stuttered out.

"don't you dare apologise, you're allowed to grieve. now how about I help you clean up your apartment?" she gave him a weak smile, he stepped back a bit allowing (Y/N) to enter. She gasped slightly at the state of his apartment, he had empty liquor bottles scattered across a few tables, a large bookshelf was laying on the ground in pieces and books torn up and thrown all around the room, (Y/N) could have burst into tears when her eyes focused on something. A few meters away, on a small coffee table, lay three empty small glass jars. She knew what the bottles were immediately, she shook her head, he wouldn't would he? Her thoughts were confirmed when she saw a few needles strewn over the wooden surface. She turned to see Reid shaking slightly, she ran over to him and lifted his shirt slightly to see the tiny red marks on the inside of his arm.

"(Y/N), please don't be mad" his voice was hoarse and (Y/N) could hear just how painful it was to talk for him. She embraced him in a hug once again this time both of them were sobbing into each other's shoulders. "why Spence, why?".

"I-It hurts (Y/N), it hurts so bad" he choked out, " I know it does, Spence promise me this. you're gonna stop taking this starting right now, you're gonna go shower and put on some clean clothes while I sort out this apartment." she smiled gently at her and he tried his best to return it.

"I don't want you to feel like you ha-" he began but was cut off by her placing her index finger over his lips, "let me help, please" the tears that had stopped a moment ago began to sting at (Y/N)'s eyes again, this doesn't go unnoticed by Reid since he quickly nodded and began walking towards the bathroom.

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It had been 4 months since Spencer had finally let (Y/N) help him and he was improving every single day. Today was a day that everyone was dreading, Maeve's birthday. As everyone expected Reid was more closed off and harsh today but (Y/N) couldn't help but feel like something was different. The team had just closed a case and were finishing up the last of the paperwork before heading home, normally Reid would be the last to leave but today he sprinted off mere seconds after finishing what he was doing. He didn't even bother waiting for the elevator, instead, he dashed towards and down the stairs, leaving (Y/N) and the rest of the team worried and confused. (Y/N) shot Hotch a look as a way to ask permission to follow, he nodded before returning to Rossi and the conversation they were having. She hopped into her car and sped off in the direction of Spencer's apartment. She ran up the stairs to his door two at a time, maybe she was overreacting but he felt off today, that was to be expected, except he was strangely twitchy and almost violent all throughout the day. Just as she reached his door it hit her. He had relapsed. Again.

She knocked once, twice, three times yet to no avail. She eventually decided to force her way in, she had a strange sense of deja vu when she saw the mess of his room. (Y/N) inspected the apartment and wasn't surprised when she saw Reid sitting on the bathroom floor, an empty bottle of Dilaudid and an old needle sat by his feet. She rushed to him and kicked the bottle away.

"Spence" tears started falling from her eyes and onto Spencers shirt, "I'm sorry (Y/N)" 

"it's okay" she attempted to reassure him by wrapping in a tight hug, he resisted for a moment before relaxing into her embrace. "no, it's not. I promised you and I failed, you probably hate me right now" he started to cry into the crook of her neck, the tears soaking through her blouse.

"you didn't fail me, Spence, this is natural. I could never hate you, I love you" (Y/N) said the words faster than she could realise exactly what was happening, She could feel Reid tense up and pull away almost straight after the words escaped her lips. "Spence, I didn't mean that" she tried to recover the situation but it was too late.

"I think you should go." his voice was no longer upset, instead it was angry, (Y/N) could see that she had made a mistake, she didn't even mean to admit it, she planned on keeping those feeling bottled up for the rest of her life but of course not.

"Please, let me explain"

"Is that the only reason you wanted to help, so you could get me faster? huh? what the hell is wrong with you! you say you 'love' me but if you did you never would have said that! you would have just left me alone. " he began screaming, his face turning red with rage, it seemed as if smoke was about to come out of his ears.

"Rei-" 

He took a few steps towards her, their faces only inches apart. (Y/N) couldn't help but feel butterflies at their close proximity.

"Don't. You are a vile excuse for a woman, you think that I would ever love you back? you are nothing compared to her. nothing. now I suggest you get the hell out of my apartment, my life in fact. Don't attempt to contact me. You're pathetic, NOW GET OUT" he was screaming directly into (Y/N)'s face, she flinched at his sheer rage. She inhaled deeply, picked up her coat from the tile floor and made her way towards the door, she wiped away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks with the sleeves of her blouse.

"goodbye Spencer" 

The door slammed shut, (Y/N) stood there for a moment, hoping that Reid would open the door again and apologise. That he'd wrap her in his arms and tell her that he was lying but after a few minutes passed and nothing happened she began walking away. Her stomach fluttered when she heard footsteps coming from behind the door but yet again nothing happened. She finally accepted it, he didn't love her, he never would. That was it.

Word count: 1500 words!

There will be a part two, I'll probably write it tonight since for once I don't have writer's block even though this was kinda terrible

don't forget to vote, comment and request!

good morning/afternoon/night - Mae xoxo