Secrets and Desires

.

Reid POV.. I needed to use it bad..I didn't want no interference with my nature when I stated questioning the relative ,so I told Rossi I had to use it and would be right back...I noticed Emily and Morgan hadn't made it yet and I wished they would ,bc even though he wasn't mine anymore, I still could look at him right ? I needed that more than I needed my coffee and I prayed that JJ hurried back with mine.. I couldn't believe their coffee machine was broke.. I mean seriously you would think they would of had some delivered or something. I walked quickly to relieve myself..I saw Emily but not Morgan.. I wondered where was he.. Hey Emily I said smiling at her.. Don't hey Emily me she said  surprising me.. Then she harshly spoke a free choice words to me but when she told me Derek was probably crying his eyes out I paled.. I thanked her and rushed into the head. Why is he so upset I wondered? He broke up with me... he didn't come right out and tell me we were over ,but he obviously told Hotch I thought.. All my thoughts vanished when I stepped thur that door... I looked at him and noticed his red eyes. Are you ok I asked knowing the question was stupid? He nodded yes but everything else screamed no.. Derek I said stepping a bit closer, what's wrong? His eyes widen and he said seriously Reid? You ask me what's wrong after??.. He cut of his sentence and looked down.. I didn't understand.. Derek I don't understand I said simply... His head jerked up and he looked at me with raw pain... You don't understand Spencer he asked? No I don't I said.. Spencer you hurt me he said with raw emotion.. I just, I'm trying to honor your wishes but that's kind of hard to do when you keep switching on me he said a tear falling..I was trying to understand what he meant but he was talking in riddles.. How did I hurt him I wondered? he's the one cheated... And what did he mean he was trying to honor my wishes but I kept switching up on him?. Derek can you please just say what you need to say bc I'm confused I said.. My groin reminded me I had to use it now..I went to the head, next to him and released myself... I could see him looking at my tool, so I deliberately took my time shaking it off