butterflies ⋮ sam evans

32 | "on my way"

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[TW: this chapter deals heavily with s*icidal thoughts and an attempt as well. if any of those are triggers for you, i would suggest reading with caution or skipping over this chapter. i love you all so much, and i want you to know that you are loved and wanted.]

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The news of Dave Karofsky's suicide attempt had shaken McKinley High. So many of his old friends and teammates still at the school, and they were upset and devastated over the thought of potentially losing one of their old friends.

While he didn't admit this to anyone, Kurt couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible for what happened. Every time Karofsky had reached out to Kurt since he admitted his feelings for him, Kurt hadn't seen them or flat-out ignored them. Kurt couldn't help but think that if he had picked up even just one of those phone calls, Karofsky might not have done what he did.

Keilani and Mercedes didn't know any of this. But after seeing how affected Kurt was by the recent news, the two, along with Blaine, had rarely left Kurt's side, which was how Keilani found herself accompanying Kurt to the God Squad meeting that afternoon.

"I feel sorry for Karofsky," The pair heard Quinn say as they approached the room. "But what he did was selfish. He didn't just want to hurt himself, he wanted to hurt everyone around him. I went through the wringer, but I never got to that place."

"Quinn, please," Kurt interrupted, glaring furiously at Quinn as the pair stepped into the classroom with their arms hooked together. "Sure, you had a baby when you were 16, and you had a bad dye job for two weeks. But seriously? The world never stopped loving you. You're going to Yale. You have no idea what Karofsky was struggling with. You really want to try to compare the despair? The self-loathing?"

Sensing that he was starting to become even more upset than before, Keilani rested her hand on his and tried to reassure him a little bit.

"It doesn't matter," Quinn said. "I just can't imagine things getting so messed up that you would consider taking your own life."

"Quinn!" Keilani snapped furiously, instinctively clutching on a little tighter to Kurt's arm. "We all know you've been through a lot, but what you're saying about Karofsky right now is absolutely harsh and horrible. I would've thought you'd have some more compassion."

"Do you know what they're still writing on his Facebook?" Kurt added. "'Better luck next time' and 'Try, try again'."

"Why are you even here, Kurt?" Quinn questioned. "Thought you didn't believe in God."

"Joe and I invited him," Mercedes answered, gesturing for Keilani and Kurt to sit down in the empty seats nearby.

"He asked us if he could come," Joe added.