The connection

Chapter twenty four - The truth hurts baby

Alex

I'd never felt more of a need to get to school. As Josh pulled into park the car I scanned around searching for Chase. I didn't see his car yet. Probably too early for him, he usually made it to class right on the wire. We got out of the car and Josh draped an arm over my shoulder kissing the top of my head in an affectionate manner.
"I've got practice again tonight babe, probably gonna be a late one but I'll FaceTime you when I get in if you like" he smiled down at me expectantly
"Sounds great" I smiled back at him mildly distracted by the incoming sounds of a car engine.
"Come on, let's go meet Natalie and Lucas before class" he said tugging me towards the quad. As we walked away I swear I caught the familiar sight of Chases car pull in.
"You go ahead, I think I've left my English notes in your car. Can I have the keys to check? I'll be right behind you" I offered him my sweetest smile feeling like a first class bitch for lying to him.
"Course babe, here you go" he passed me the keys whilst pulling me in for a kiss, surprising me. He shot my his killer smile before bounding off toward the quad. I turned around just in time to see those piercing green eyes staring at me. A stoney look upon his face before he turned and walked away.

Chase

I was reeling from what I'd seen. I knew this would be a possibility but seeing it with my own eyes was torture. I rounded the corner and threw my backpack down and let out a cry as I kicked the shit out of it pretending it was Josh's smarmy face. I raised my first ready to strike the wall when I was disturbed.
"Chase" she practically whispered. My blood shot eyes turned to face her and I pressed my palms flat against the wall, leaning on it as I took in a deep breath.
"You shouldn't be here" I spat out, not wanting to see her right now. All I could do was picture them together.

I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts before returning my gaze to her.
"So your back together then...didn't take long" I spat.
I saw the hurt look cross her face and she folded her arms, clearly not impressed by my outburst.
"You left me remember, to shack up with your little blonde pixie" she retorted, her eyes zeroed in on me. I shook my head, she had believed my lie so easily.
"You don't even understand the half of it" I mumbled, not having the strength to argue with her. It's not like I could be honest.

"Don't understand, well how about this for understanding! You left me because you had some twisted notion that staying away from me would somehow protect me. You blamed yourself for what Mike did and for my panic attacks and you took the cowards way out by running off with the first girl you find. Well I hope she was worth it Chase because you've put me through hell this past month. I didn't get some quick fix by you leaving, I'm still having panic attacks, I'm miserable. I can't stop thinking about you, dreaming about you. I'm broken. You leaving broke me, not what Mike did. You promised you'd never leave me, you said you loved me but it was so easy for you to move on with Chloe. I know you love me, I just don't understand why it wasn't enough. Why I wasn't enough that you had to be with her instead. So how about that Chase for my understanding on this fucked up situation" she ranted uncontrollably as I watched wide eyed in shock.

"Lex please" I begged, tears now fresh in my eyes "it was the only way I could keep you safe. Too much had happened since I came into your life. You were better off without me" I knew she'd never understand.

"So why couldn't you just talk to me, why torture me by fucking Chloe and telling me how much you loved her" she pushed me into the wall and I couldn't help but enjoy the soft tingles I felt as our skin touched. I knew I couldn't hear her thoughts anymore, she'd shut them off weeks ago.

"Chloe! You think I'm fucking Chloe?" I demanded, knowing that that's exactly what I led her to believe.

"Well you told me as much in your letter you bastard" she screamed as she wiped her tears from her face.

"Lex I'd never do that to you. I just needed to make you believe. I knew you'd never accept it otherwise" I looked ashamedly at the ground.

"You, you aren't together? You're not screwing her!" She asked in disbelief.

"No, me and Chloe were only ever friends with benefits years ago I swear. She came back as a favour to me and just played along. There's nothing going on between us. I lied"

"But I saw you, you were kissing" she asked confused.

"She saw you watching us and kissed me to make it seem believable. It meant nothing" I pleaded taking a step closer. She crouched down holding her head in her hands.

"No.....you're lying, tell me you're lying" she breathed exasperated  "what have I done. This is all so fucked up" she cried unable to look at me. I reached down placing a hand on her shoulder trying to soothe her somehow.

"Lex baby it's okay. We can work this out. It's all out in the open now, I should have never lied to you in the first place" I soothed as she brought her tear stricken gaze to meet mine.

"Chase you don't understand, I've done something. Something unforgivable" she broke down shaking as I tried to comfort her.

"Whatever it is we can work it out Lex I promise. I was wrong, we're stronger together. I should have believed in us" I begged and she cried into my chest.

"I wished you had" she sobbed

"I swear I'll make this up to you. Whatever it is you've done. It's nothing compared to what I've put you through. Lex baby please" I hushed her cries kissing the top of her head.

I slept with Josh

The words hit me like a sledgehammer, shocking me into silence. I slowly pulled away to look at her face. Had I just heard her right. No, there was no way. Alex wouldn't do that, they were just friends. Sure I'd seen them kiss earlier but she wouldn't sleep with him not when I knew she was still in love with me.

"I'm so sorry Chase" she muttered defeatedly as she met my eyes. I stood up leaving her in a crumpled mess on the floor. This couldn't be happening. He was meant to help her, to stop her from chasing after me. But as a friend, we'd both been clear that she needed a friend right now not someone to fuck things up even more. I was going to kill him. He'd taken advantage of her when she was fragile. I was going to fucking make him pay. I stormed off back around the corner towards the quad, balling my fists at my sides.