The connection

Chapter Thirty one - Ultimatum

Chase

"The games about to start, we better get inside" I vacantly stared at her as I turned to head back inside. I felt her pull at my arm to stop me

"Chase wait, let me explain...it's not what it looked like" she begged turning me to face her

"So you weren't just kissing you ex boyfriend then?" I asked flatly, so tired of this destructive dance we kept doing to even be angry anymore.

"No..yes, well..he kissed me but I"

"You let him" I finished for her and she was finally quiet. "Bet you didn't wish it was me that time huh" I snapped knowing that was a low blow. I turned and headed towards the small crowd inside the bowling alley before she had chance to respond. 

"Hey there you guys are, the games just started, Chase you're up next" Natalie's cheery face greeted us not sensing the immediate tension between us as we approached. I brushed passed them to take my place as I heard the girls whispering behind me.

"Everything okay?"

"Not really, can't talk now though" I felt their eyes on me as I took my shot imagining the centre pin was Josh's face as the ball smashed into it scoring a strike.

"Wow, well done Chase, you didn't tell us you play like a pro" Lucas cheered me on as he gave me a friendly slap on the back. I stepped down from the alley and locked eyes with Alex who was about to take her turn. 

"Hey didn't you say Josh was coming" one of the guys asked Lucas. I felt myself instantly tense up and could see Alex was caught off guard leading for her to throw a gutter ball.

"Aww better luck next time" Natalie shouted in support of her best friends efforts.

I turned my attention to Lucas. "Yeah he was but he just sent me a text saying something came up and he couldn't make it.....Could have sworn I saw his car outside though" Lucas shrugged.

Natalie caught my eye as she watched me listening to Josh's conversation then shot a glance back at Alex who was gearing up for her second shot.

"Does this sudden mood change have something to do with Josh's absence" she asked quizzically with a raised brow.

I took a swig of my drink before responding.

"I'm not one to kiss and tell Natalie but if you ask Alex or Josh they might be able to enlighten you on the situation" 

I knew it was another low blow but I was hurt and angry. I'd trusted her to smooth things over with him and what did it get me in return. More heartache. 

"Chase please" Alex interrupted us as she approached "let me explain I'm begging you" she pleaded as she returned to the table I had sat at.

There's nothing to explain, you kissed him that's all there is to it

No that's not all there is to it. Chase I was caught off guard, I was upset. Josh is one of my closest friends and I don't want to lose him. I didn't realise what was happening before it was too late.

Do you know how hard it is for me to see you with him like that. The pain it causes me to know you want him, need him.

I need you more. I only need him as a friend. I don't love him like I love you, you have to believe me.

Sure didn't look that way to me.

Well you saw wrong. Maybe you only saw what you wanted to see.

What's that supposed to mean.

You haven't forgiven me Chase. You haven't forgiven me for sleeping with Josh when we were broken up and now it's like you are trying to find ways to sabotage us or delay us getting back to where we were before.

Sabotage. I think you're doing a pretty good job of that yourself.

He kissed me! yes I let it happen but for like a split second, as soon as I realised what was going on I put a stop to it but you won't even let me explain myself. You don't want to hear the truth because you're just looking for an excuse to leave me again.

Is that what you think this is? 

Well it is isn't it. 

If I was leaving I'd be gone by now.

So what instead you're just going to stay and torture me!

Like you tortured me by fucking Josh!

"Guys I don't know what's going on between you but this intense staring contest you've got going on is just plain freaky" Natalie interrupted as she joined us at the table.

"Sorry Nat, truth is I'm not feeling too good. Chase is going to take me home. Sorry to flake out on you" Alex grabbed my hand as she stood up pulling me with her.

We can't do this here

She was right, I played along as we made our exit and headed outside towards the car. As soon as we were outside she dropped my hand and started heading off towards the footpath.

"Where you are going, the cars this way" I asked confused

"I'm not getting in the car, I'm walking home" she replied stubbornly 

I watched after her feeling a pang of guilt wash over me, how had this turned out like this. This was supposed to be a fun filled evening of hearts and flowers but it had turned into heartbreak and tears.

"Lex wait" I ran after her as she rounded the corner "I can't let you walk home alone, it's dark"

She shot me a piercing look "I didn't think you'd be bothered about what happened to me"

"Don't say that, don't you ever say that" I reached out and pulled her to a stop "Lex I'm sorry for how I acted in there, but you hurt me"

"When, just now in the car or before when we were broken up. Because it sounds to me a lot like the later and I just don't know how we are ever going to get passed this"

"Me either" I looked at her heartbroken face, why did we keep doing this to each other. For people who loved each other we seemed to spend half our time causing the other one pain.

"I know" she sobbed as she responded to my thoughts.

"You need to forgive me or this isn't going to work. You forgive me for Josh, forget about this whole let's take it slow crap and let's just be together. Or if you can't do that then please just be honest with me so we can both save ourselves from the pain and heartache...what's it going to be Chase. Can you forgive me and move on or are we over?"

Her words hit me like a sledgehammer. Could I forgive her or was this the end?