The connection

Chapter Forty three - Let's be honest here

Alex

I pulled up in the driveway and took a deep breath preparing myself for what was to come. Nate sat on my front step looking utterly heartbroken. He raised his eyes to look at me as I approached. I watched as his gaze trailed down my now soaking wet muddy dress before they fixed on my face.

"You've been with him haven't you" he stated flatly 

All I could do was nod. I know I hadn't technically done anything wrong but I couldn't help but feel guilty. Nate had been my date after all but hiding the fact that he was Chase's brother was just too much for me to bare.

"Guess I can't blame you for running after him after what I said" he sighed.

I remained stood at the end of the driveway unsure if I should get closer. "Can I ask you something" 

"Anything"

"Did you tell Chase we slept together?" 

"What, no. Is that what he told you...he's lying Alex, trying to get inside your head and mess with you. You have to believe me" he pleaded

"Did you go after me because you knew I was his ex, because you knew it would hurt him" I knew I wouldn't be able to rest until I knew the truth. Had this all been a lie, did he even like me or was this all some sort of sick game he was playing to hurt Chase.

He let out a shaky breath as I braced myself for his response.

"I didn't know who you were when I moved to town, I came here to find him. I hate him Alex. Then when I saw him go after you that day at the creek I put it all together. He was the one who broke your heart. I wanted to hurt him how his dad hurt my mum so I guess the answer is yes. I went after you because of him because I knew it would hurt him to see you move on....but then things changed. I started to feel things for you, it wasn't about him anymore Alex you have to believe me, I really do care about you and I feel sick about lying to you about who I really was. I just didn't know how to tell you. Please can you forgive me"

"I don't think I can Nate. You say you hate him but he never did anything to you, he didn't even know you existed, your so full of hate for him for no reason"

"Of course you'd see it that way, he's got you wrapped around his little finger. Like father like son I guess"

"Don't you dare presume to know him. He is nothing like that. Our mistakes are our own making, I'm not completely blameless in all this drama with me and Chase"

"He had everything I ever wanted Alex. Now looks like he's got you"

"That's where you're wrong Nate. Neither of you have me"

With that I walked passed him and went inside, being sure to lock the door behind me.

*****

Chase 

I knew I'd made a mistake when I'd jumped down her throat about Nate. She had every right to be pissed off at me. She wasn't the one who had done anything wrong after all. I wanted to go to her and explain but deep down I knew that wasn't what she needed right now. So I'd do the next best thing. I grabbed my phone from my pocket and dialled the number listening to it ring a few times.

"Hey, it's Chase. I need your help, can we meet up? It's important..."

Half an hour passed before I saw the headlights in the distance and then a car pull up next to mine. I could see three people inside the car but only one got out.

"This better be good otherwise I'm leaving" Natalie demanded in her unimpressed tone as she stood arms folded looking at me. I could make out Lucas behind the wheel and Josh in the backseat their eyes focused on me.

"I want to explain everything"

"Shouldn't you be saying this to Alex" she snapped before I could get any further

"She won't listen to me right now, that's my fault. I just, I need for someone who cares about her to know the truth. I trust you'll decide if you should pass it on or not"

She looked at me sternly before nodding. "I'm listening"

I took a deep breath trying to pluck up the courage to talk about everything.

"I love her Natalie, I let her go because I love her. Me and Alex we have this connection, it's hard to explain but it's intense"

"She told me..." she turned and glanced at the parked car behind us as if to make sure we were at a safe enough distance before lowering her voice "I know everything Chase"

" she told you we can.."

"Yep" she cut me off again.

"Okay well, it was intense. No one has ever made me feel the way she does. It's not just an attraction, I want to protect her. I'd honestly give my life for hers. I know it doesn't seem that way and you probably think I've been running this whole time. I swear I only ever thought I was doing what's best for her. The whole Miss Jenson thing, and then with Josh. I couldn't stop thinking about it, about them together and I knew I'd eventually stop being able to hide my thoughts from her. I thought it would be easier if we were apart. I didn't want her to think I hated her because I didn't, but Natalie it was torture, every time I touched her I had flashes of Josh touching her. If she had known that it would have killed her. I didn't know how to stop it so I thought being apart was the best thing. I thought she deserved to be happy with someone who wasn't messed up like me. I thought she'd move on and I tried to block it all out. I guess you probably heard I've been off the rails a bit lately"

"That's an understatement" she huffed

"I know. I've made mistakes, too many mistakes. I slept with girls who's names I don't even remember just because they had some minor resemblance to Alex. Long brown hair, a dress the same colour as the one she wore the first time we were together. It's fucked up and I know it. She'd left and I thought she had gone for good, I didn't know what to do. I started stalking her fucking house for Christ sake and then one day she was back and it was like my life had a purpose again. I wanted nothing more than to turn back the clock and erase my mistakes but I was too late. Too much time had passed and I knew she would never forgive me. But then when I saw her with Nate, there was something about him that made me feel uneasy. Josh saw it first, he asked me to warn her. Fat lot of use that did. But Natalie I only did it because I wanted to protect her, I knew something was up with him. If I had thought she'd moved on with someone who actually deserved her then I would have stayed away, let her be happy and move on but I can't. He's fucked up, he lied to me about sleeping with her, he told me as much that he wanted her to get one over on me. You can't let her forgive him. I don't care if she hates me forever, please don't let her listen to whatever crap he has to say. He's bad news and she deserves better than that"

"What, someone like you" she asked smugly

"No. I know I don't deserve her. I wish I did. I love her more than anything. I'd do anything to make her happy Natalie and that's why I'll let her go if that's what she wants, but please promise me that you won't let her be with him"

She looked at me stunned at my admission.

"You know Chase part of your problem is that you are too quick to turn and run. Maybe you should fight for her and see where that gets you"

"She doesn't want me"

"She loves you, you idiot. Now show her that you love her too. Fight for her Chase"