The connection

Chapter twenty five - revenge and regret

Chase

I paced across the quad locking eyes with Josh who was stood on the grass chatting to Natalie and Lucas and some hockey guys I didn't know. He clocked me heading towards him and I noticed his confused expression.

"Chase man, what's up, you should't be here Alex will be here in a-" he didn't have chance to finish before I pulled my fist back and smashed it into his jaw. I heard the satisfying crack of my hand colliding with his face and watched him tumble back onto the grass, blood dripping from his mouth.
"Wow chill out mate" Lucas demanded pulling me backwards. My eyes didn't leave Josh's as he looked up at me dazed.

"I trusted you with her and you fucking took advantage. She needed you to be her friend" I shouted at him hysterically as I struggled to get out of Lucas's grip. A couple of the hockey guys helped pull me back and Natalie stepped forward to help Josh up. She shot me a hateful look.
"He has been there for her, he's been helping piece back together the mess you made when you left" she spat at me, fury in her eyes.

"Helping her! He's been fucking her when deep down he knows she's in love with me. He's fucked her up even more" 

Natalie turned to Josh with a look of pure shock on her face. I'm guessing this was news to her as well. I wrestled free and shot Josh one last look of disgust before walking away leaving Natalie and the others lost for words.

Alex

I was on the floor unable to move when I heard Natalie calling me. She seemed so far away but I'm sure I felt her shaking my arm.
"Alex, Alex it's me. It's Natalie. It's okay, it's going to be okay" I heard her muffled voice.
"Help somebody help me" it was barely a whisper now. My vision had blurred and everything felt off balance. I saw someone approach in the distance, I vaguely recognised that blonde pixie cut and then another muffled voice filled me head.
"What happened, is she okay?"
"I think she had an argument with Chase, he just came and knocked Josh out on the quad" they sounded panicked but it was too hard to focus on them.
"Can you help me get her up, I need to get her home" I felt a slight tugging on my arms but couldn't make sense of it.
"It's no use, we can't lift her when she's like this. We need help"
"It's okay, I'll call for help" I could see the pixie girl on the phone but couldn't make myself form words to call out to her.
"Listen I don't care what she's done, she's in a bad way and we need to get her some help" I could feel myself drifting further from reality as the muffled voices for further away.
"Is he coming?"
"Yes"
"Alex it's okay, we are going to get you home so you can rest. I'll call your mum and she'll meet us there. We've got you.
I suddenly felt a warmth underneath me as I floated into the air, drifting further from consciousness.
"Open the back door, I'll lie her on the backseat" I knew that voice. I tried to grasp onto reality, willing my body to wake up. The smell of sandalwood filled my senses and I tried to speak but no words left my mouth.
Chase. It was him, I knew it. I felt the darkness start to take over as I drifted in and out of consciousness. The muffled voices returned stirring me from my dream.
"Natalie get the door, let's take her up to her room" it was him again. I wanted nothing more than to reach out to him and tell him how sorry I was. Tell him how much I loved him and that I wished I could take it all back but my body wouldn't comply and I couldn't open my eyes let alone speak.
"She can't know I was here"
"I won't lie to her Chase. Not after Mike. I swore to myself I would never lie to her again" 

"She's done a good enough job at lying to all of us, by the look on your face earlier I'd say you didn't know either"

"This isn't helping you two. She needs to rest. Chase maybe we should go whilst Natalie waits for Alex's mum to get back from work"
That was the last thing I heard before the darkness took over.

********

I looked out onto the serene water that stood in front of me, the material of my yellow sundress clutched around my body. I nervously bit down on my lip as I caught his gaze staring back at me, those green eyes were hypnotic. Slowly I lowered the dress leaving it discarded on the ground and look careful steps into the water. I knew I must be blushing and dipped my head down to break our eye contact. The water felt amazing against my skin, it was warm and inviting and some how the nerves I'd been feeling only seconds ago had been washed away as I swam towards him. We stood there staring at each other for a short while before I felt the warmth of his hand as he let my hair down, brushing his fingers against my cheek. I couldn't control myself, overcome with desire I turned my face to his hand and planted a soft kiss on his palm. Electricity flowed through my body and in an instant the water around us heated up even more. I found myself searching for his lips, desperate to taste him again. Desperate to have him.

"Alex, babe are you awake, Alex?" The faint calls snapped me from my blissful sleep and I could no longer feel the warmth of the water, the air around me turned cold. Instinctively I moved my hands as if trying to swim but instead of water all I felt was the soft material of what must be a blanket.
"Hey, it's okay, you're safe" the voice purred in my head. Chase, he was still here. Maybe it hadn't been a dream. I willed my eyes to open but things were still a bit disoriented, where was I? We're we at the creek? Had I hit my head on a rock or something? I called out to him, needing the sound of his voice to guide me back to reality.
"Chase" I breathed, feeling my throat scratch as I spoke his name. I blinked a few times as the figure leaning over me came into focus, reaching my hand out to stroke his face. I was met with his sad blue eyes.
"No, it's Josh" he mumbled as he removed my hand from his cheek resting it back by my side.

Josh. My eyes darted around and I realised I was in my room. How did I get here? I shot him an apologetic look.
"Sorry, I think I hit my head?" I murmured pulling myself up into a sitting position.
"Natalie said you had a panic attack, she brought you home. Your mums on her way, she should be here any minute" he stood up from the chair he was sat in at the side of my bed. I watched as he pushed back his floppy blonde hair from his face and noticed the beginnings of a bruise on his jawline.
"Josh, your face! What happened?" I asked full of concern.
He shook his head and turned away from me "it's nothing, don't worry about it" he mumbled clearly not wanting to talk about it.
"It's not nothing, who did that to you?" I demanded, not accepting no for an answer.
He turned back to face me, I couldn't make out his expression. Was it anger, sadness, disappointment perhaps?
"It was Chase okay?" He spat out rolling his eyes and shaking his head repeatedly. Okay I'm going to go with anger.
"Chase? But why?" Something didn't make sense, why would Chase hit him.
"Because you told him we slept together that's why Alex!" He looked at me frustrated as he slumped back in the chair at my bedside "what were you thinking telling him that, did you think he'd congratulate us" he huffed at me.
"I, Josh I'm sorry..." I squeezed my eyes shut as the flash of memories from today's events came flooding back to me. Chase and Chloe, it was all an act. He loved me, he thought he was protecting me and I'd ruined everything. Tears began to fall uncontrollably and I felt Josh's arms on mine in an attempt to calm me down.
"Shit, Alex I'm sorry, shhh it's okay. It's all okay now" any trace of anger had left his face and had been replaced by a look of guilt.
I calmed my breathing just how I'd been practicing in my counselling sessions trying to retain my grasp on reality.
"I'm sorry Josh. It just came out, we were talking and it just came out somehow" I tried to explain hoping he would understand.
"Talking? Why were you even talking to him after everything he's put you through! I thought he was staying away from you, he was meant to..." he stopped himself short before finishing that sentence.
"He was meant to what Josh? Do you know something?" I looked at him full of despair but he couldn't meet my eyes and just shook his head unable to answer.
"You do don't you. You know the truth?" I could feel fresh tears roll down my cheeks at the revelation that one of my best friends had deceived me yet again.
"Alex please, you have to understand. I thought I was doing what's best for you. We both did" he pleaded with me but I'd heard enough.
"By lying to me. I love him Josh. You know that, and you were supposed to be my friend. You were supposed to be there for me, not lie to me as well!......and you let me sleep with you" I felt sick to my stomach. I fumbled with the covers pulling them up close as if they offered me some sort of protection.
"Alex please, I thought you wanted to. I thought you were moving on, that you wanted me. That you wanted us to try again. I know I shouldn't of lied to you about Chase but I honestly thought it was the best thing for you" he looked at me with desperate hope in his eyes.
"You thought It was the best thing for me? What sleeping with me when you knew if was him I wanted. It's always been him. It was him I pictured not you and I hate myself for it, I hate myself because I know that now I'll never get him back. Because of you" my words pierced him like a knife as I watched his face pale before me. Lost for words he stood from the chair once more and this time he headed for the door and left me alone.
What had I done.