The connection

Chapter ten - bombshell

Alex

I checked the time on my watch for the fifth time in the past 2 minutes. It was almost 1.30pm and Josh would be here any minute. After saying my goodbyes to Chase this morning, I decided even though I knew it wouldn't be true, or at least hoped it wasn't. I should talk to Josh and think of some way to ask him if it was him threatening Chase.

I was sat inside the coffee shop we used to come to sipping on my caramel frappe when I caught sight of his blonde wavy hair and blue eyes walking towards me. He offered me a small smile, but I could tell it was sort of forced.

"Hey" he mumbled as he took a seat. I pushed the smoothie I'd bought for him towards him and offered a weak smile in return.

"Hey, I um I got you a smoothie"

He nodded looking shy at the drink sat in front of him.

"Err thanks" he said picking up the drink and taking a gulp. Why did this feel so weird, we must have sat in this coffee shop a hundred times and yet this time it felt completely alien to me. I had to compose myself and get to my questions, I needed to be careful but at the same time I kind of wanted to just blurt it out and ask him.

"So, Err, why did you want to meet. Aren't you with Chase now" he looked away from me as he spoke?

"Yeah but I, I just wanted to see you. Josh I'm so sorry how we left things. I need you to know I really didn't mean to hurt you" I spoke with sincerity and I hope he knew that. He let out a small chuckle and I frowned at him in return.

"I'm sorry Alex, it's just, you slept with another guy but didn't mean to hurt me. The two kind of don't go together if you ask me"

He was right. I had treated him so bad; he didn't deserve to be cheated on let alone find out the way he did. Could he be so hateful to send those messages to chase though, I wasn't so sure.

"Your right. I'm sorry, I'm just really sorry about everything" I said fiddling with the straw on my drink.

"Can I ask you something" he looked straight at me, catching my gaze for the first time since he sat down.

"Anything, I owe you that at least" I told him honestly.

"Why him? I mean we were together for 6 months and we barely made it past making out. One day with him...unless I'm wrong and it was going on longer. But you slept with him Alex. Why were you ready with him and not me? He kept his eyes on me willing me to answer. I didn't even know where to start, I still found it hard to explain to myself.

"It just felt right" I whispered, tears threatening to prick my eyes.

"Look I didn't come here to upset you. Don't get me wrong I'm still pissed at what you did but I care about you Alex. If you were unhappy, I wish you would have just told me"

"I wasn't unhappy, I just.... I can't explain it, but I guess I just felt something with him" I looked down fiddling with my hands to distract myself.

"Something you didn't feel with me" he finished the sentence for me, brushing his hair back off his face and letting out a sigh.

"Alex I just want you to be happy. You've had enough shit going on in your life without me adding to it so how about we just try and be friends. I mean I don't think we'll be hanging out braiding each other's hair anytime soon but if I pass you in the halls I'll say hey" he smiled at me reaching for my hand and giving it a squeeze as a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

"Hey, don't cry" he pulled me into a hug. I breathed in his familiar scent, it felt nice to be in his arms. We may not of had much sexual chemistry but during our relationship he had become one of my best friends and I hadn't realised how much I'd missed that until now. Tears continued to roll down my cheeks as I began to sob uncontrollably into his chest.