The connection

Chapter sixty nine - Brotherly love

Nate

I was sat watching tv whilst eating a bowl of cereal, not exactly the most nutritious dinner but mum was still on the night shift and I was too wiped out to think about cooking. I took another mouthful of my cereal when the sound of a car pulling up outside caught my attention. I placed my bowl on the coffee table and walked to the window to peer out. Chase. I wasn't exactly expecting to see him again today. I walked to the front door and opened it before he had chance to knock. He looked at me sheepishly

"Hey umm...can I come in?"

I studied his face for a minute, he looked a hell of a lot better than he had done last night or this morning. I had an idea of why that might be. I stepped aside and gestured for him to come in.

"So you saw Alex then?" I questioned even though I already knew the answer. He shot me a confused look.

"How do you know?" He asked puzzled

I answered with a slight smirk "you've got that look about you, and plus she told me"

I took my seat on the sofa again and picked up my bowl taking another mouthful. He hesitated before taking a seat in the arm chair opposite me.

"Guess I should have known she'd tell you we saw each other"

I finished my cereal with him watching me before returning my bowl to the table and looking back at him.

"Listen Chase you don't owe me an explanation if that's why you're here"

"I know. That's not why I'm here" he answered seriously.

"Then why are you here? I thought Chloe was going to help you out?"

"She is, it's just. I wanted to talk to you"

I raised my brow as I looked at him

"Nate I want to thank you, not just for what you did for me last night but for being there for Alex. I know she wouldn't have gotten through all this without you and I just wanted to come and say how grateful I am...and before you say it, I know you didn't do any of it for me. It's all for her. I never thought I'd actually admit this but I'm so glad she has you in her life" he finished his speech and looked down at the floor. I could see the emotion building up on his face. It took a lot for him to admit that to me.

"Chase, you're right. I did do it for her. I love her and she was hurting and I'd do anything to take away that pain" he nodded at me. "But part of me did it for you too. We're family, we can admit it or not but it doesn't change that we are"

I must have looked as shocked as he did about my confession. The truth is I've been thinking about it for a while now, ever since we made our peace before all this shit happened. I know we love the same girl and it was sort of messed up that we'd made some deal to both be with her but after seeing him last night so lost, I just I felt something. He was my brother and I couldn't just pretend that he didn't mean anything to me anymore. It was time to face facts.

"Nate I...er I guess I wasn't expecting you to say that" he admitted looking shocked.

"You and me both but it doesn't stop it from being the truth" I sighed.

"Yeah I guess not" he let out an awkward chuckle as he rubbed the back of his head.

"So you finally going home tonight or do you need a place to crash?" I asked as I stood and grabbed my bowl.

"My dad won't even notice I'm gone so if you're offering" he looked at me hopefully. I walked over to the sink and rinsed my bowl out before placing it to dry.

"What's he like?" I asked without turning around "our dad?"

I heard him take a sharp breath before answering. "Put it this way I think you and your mum are better off without him"

I turned to look at him as I walked back towards the sofa and sat down. "Tell my mum that, she spent the first fifteen years of my life pining over him. It's only been the past couple of years she's pulled her life together"

"That's pretty messed up. Sorry you had to go through that" he met my eyes with a sad look on his face "I'm sorry I didn't know about you sooner. I would have reached out"

I shook my head "it's not your fault, I know I had a lot of miss placed anger when I got here but I know that was wrong. It's not fair to blame you for things he's done" I admitted

"I guess when you moved to town things with me and Alex weren't exactly in the best place. I can see why you'd think badly of me but I'm nothing like our father; I don't want to be like him"

"I can see that. Don't get me wrong Chase, I think both me you and Alex all have some stuff going on that's pretty messed up but at least we are willing to deal with it. I came here looking for revenge but in all honesty that's the complete opposite to how I feel now"

"I'm glad to hear it" he chuckled

"I guess I never expected to come here and fall in love with the girl of my dreams" I smiled to myself as I thought of Alex.

"Yeah she does that to you, she took me by surprise as well" he smiled back at me.

"Chase, how do you see this whole thing with us all panning out?" I asked in a more serious tone as I met his eyes.

He let out a sigh "well I guess maybe not the way we originally planned" he ran his hands through his hair and leaned back against the chair he was sat in "I just wanted to make her happy, that's all I want but on the car ride back to hers that day when she had that dream, something snapped inside me, I was jealous and I let it take over"

I watched him as he struggled to find the words that I had suspected he had wanted to say since it happened. He looked at me with eyes full of sorrow.

"Nate I can't do it. I know it was my idea and I love her more than anything and I want nothing more than to give this to her but I can't risk hurting her again. I can't risk the jealousy taking over again, I can't share her with you"

I looked at him dumbfounded as he words sunk in. I knew he was doing this for her but I couldn't help but feel a stab of pain for her. This would devastate her.

"Chase you just need some time to think things over" I started before he cut me off

"I have thought this through. Can you honestly tell me that you don't wish just a tiny bit that I wasn't in the picture, that it was just you and her? Because if the answer is yes then you have to understand what I'm saying. I don't want either one of us to hurt her and I'm scared shitless that we will if we keep doing this. Not to mention the fact that you're my brother Nate. What we are doing with Alex is going to change our relationship forever"

"Chase you owe it to Alex to talk to her about this. You can't just make a decision like this without talking to her. In fact I think that she deserves to make it herself"

"That's bullshit, you know she'll just say she wants both of us"

"That's not what I mean. I mean we ask her to chose"

He looked at me speechless. I couldn't quite believe the words that had came out of my mouth. Was I really ready to ask Alex to make this choice between me and Chase?