The connection

Chapter Forty - I can't do this again

Alex

I sat in my room replaying over the evening in my mind. How was I here again already, losing my mind over a boy I hardly knew. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt a tear roll down my cheek. Was I really this upset over Nate or was this Chase I was crying over. I hated that my mind was so scrambled, I like Nate and we had started to become friends and I couldn't deny I felt an attraction to him. But I also couldn't help but see similarities between them both, was I only attracted to Nate because he reminded me of Chase? I shook my head trying to dispel the thoughts.

No, I'd worked too hard to move on from Chase. I couldn't let him creep back into my thoughts after all the time I spent getting over him. Seeing him the other night as really thrown me, that must be it. It wasn't anything to do with Nate, it was the fact that I'd seen Chase. He had messed me up again.

I jumped up from my bed and pulled on a sweater, I had to talk to him. He deserved to know the truth. I pulled on my boots and headed out the door. The night air was chilly and I cursed at myself for not putting on a coat before I'd rushed out the door. I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialled his number. It rang out a few times before clicking over to voicemail. Great, he was ignoring me. Maybe I was making a mistake. No I had to do this, I knew what I wanted.

Ten minutes later I was rounding the corner of his street. I decided to send him a quick text on the off chance he'd see it.

We need to talk, I'm coming to see you

I hit send a pulled my arms tight around my chest as the wind picked up. I neared his house, I could see a light on inside. Someone was coming out the front door. He shut the door and turned around meeting my gaze.

"Alex, what are you doing here" he asked confused.

I didn't answer, I just let instincts take over and I speed walked the rest of the way up the path and threw myself into his arms, planting my lips on his pulling us into a long heated kiss. His lips felt so good on mine, better than they had the first time we kissed. We breathed each other in, I felt his lips curve into a smile as he kissed me back. We finally pulled away and I felt his piercing green eyes on me.

"What was that for" Nate asked, an amused look on his face. I blushed back at him with a shy smile.

"I guess I just figured out what I wanted" my eyes fell to his lips again and I drew my attention back to him. He paused and looked at me for a minute and then pulled me into another kiss. This time he was in control. He spun us around and my back pressed up against the door, his hands were in my hair pulling me closer to him. When we finally broke apart our lips both swollen from the kiss I had to step back to catch my breath. 

"That was some kiss" I panted. He beamed down at me "yeah it was" he agreed looking just as breathless as I was. "Sorry if I got carried away a bit there" he chuckled. I smiled back at him 

"Don't be sorry....I liked it" I blushed. He bent his head down and planted a tender kiss on my lips this time. 

"I want to do this properly" he said with a smile "I want to take you on a date, isn't there some dance coming up. How about we make things official then?"

Official, an official date to the end of year dance with Nate. This was exactly the fresh start I needed.

*********

"What about this one" Natalie asked as she held up another dress. She had dragged me out shopping as soon as I'd told her that Nate had asked me to the dance.

"I think you should try on the red one, you look fierce in red" I eyed the silky red dress she held out to me. It wasn't really my style but maybe that was a good thing, maybe I needed something a bit different. I reached out to take it from her.

"What the hell, might as well try it" I smiled back at her before heading to try it on.

The material fell perfectly around my natural curves and the colour really worked for me. I pulled the hair tie out of my hair and let my brunette trestles fall down my back. Yep this definitely made me look fierce.

"Damn girl, Nate will have a heart attack when he sees you in that" Natalie smirked as she exited the stall neck to me in a green sparkly number. "What about this, do you think Lucas will like it?" She asked as she turned to look at herself in the mirror.

"I think he'll love it, you look amazing Nat"

"Thanks hun. I think we've both found our perfect outfits"

We paid for our dresses and headed to the coffee shop for a much needed caffeine fix, we sat at a table as I took a sip of my latte I noticed Natalie's attention was on something behind me.

"What is it" I asked concerned at her grave expression.

"Okay, just stay facing me and promise not to freak out...but Chase is heading this way"

Chase. Why would chase be here? Maybe it was just a coincidence, he might not have even seen us.

"Er...Alex can I talk to you please" his smooth voice played in my mind instantly pulling at my heartstrings. I felt myself stiffen.

"No you can't" Natalie answered before I could recover. He moved round in full view of me, my eyes desperately tried to focus on my coffee and not look up to meet his. 

"Please Lex, it's important. I wouldn't bother you if I didn't have to" he pleaded.

I looked up and was met with those all too familiar green eyes. They didn't sparkle like they used to anymore, they seemed full of sadness. I felt Natalie's gaze on me and I shrugged at her.

"Nat would you mind-" I started. She stood up before I could finish and let out an unimpressed sigh.

"Fine, but I'm going to be right at the counter so don't use this as another opportunity to rip her heart out" she spat at him before vacating her seat. He sat down in her place and nervously looked at me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to piss her off...or you" he apologised 

"What is it you need to talk to me about Chase" I cut him off wanting to get to the point. He looked at me slightly hurt but recovered himself and began to talk.

"I just wanted to talk to you about the new guy, Nate I think his name is" 

Oh boy, here we go. Jealous ex boyfriend alert?

"What about him" I replied shortly 

"I just want you to be careful, how well do you really know him Lex. I've heard some stuff and I'm just trying to look out for you"

I started laughing, was he really having this conversation with me.

"Sorry Chase, you've heard some stuff and you want me to be careful. Are you listening to yourself. Maybe I should have taken that advice about you" 

He looked hurt

"I know I have no right to butt into your life but I just want you to be happy Alex. I want you to be safe. There's something about that guy that just doesn't add up"

"Your right Chase, you have no right. I don't want to hear anything you have to say about Nate. You don't even know him and I think I'm old enough to decided who I can and can't be friends with so why don't you do us both a favour and leave me alone to make my own choices" 

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you

"Well you did upset me" I snapped back. His eyes locked onto mine as I realised what had just happened. 

"Lex" he breathed with a flash of hope on his face. "You just heard me didn't you" he asked.

I was so angry with myself, I don't even know how I'd managed to hear him, we'd shut each other out months ago and it had been completely silent ever since. 

Baby please

There it was again. No I wasn't doing this with him.

"I can't Chase, I just can't" I tearfully replied as I got up from my seat and walked away from him.