The connection

Chapter Sixty seven - Sanctuary

Chase

"So are you going to tell me what's going on with you?" Chloe looked over at me as she drove.

I brushed my hand through my hair and let out a sigh. Where did I even begin.

"Chlo I don't even know where to start. Things are just really fucked up right now"

"Has this got something to do with why Nate dropped you off this morning" she asked with a raised brow "last I heard was that you and him were both competing for Alex's attention"

Of course she'd fucking go there. I knew damn well she would of heard about Alex kissing Nate at the beach the other week. She was just trying to bait me into talking about it.
"It's nothing to do with Nate, it's me" I huffed before turning my attention to the passing scenery outside.

"Fine I get it, you don't want to talk" I could feel her eyes watching me as she took the final turn into the creek. "You know you need to find some new hangouts, I'm getting tired of this place" she smirked as we pulled up next to my car.

"Yeah maybe I do, I've got a feeling this place will be tainted forever after last night" I spoke without even thinking. Shit.

"What happened last night" she questioned

Shit. I'd dropped myself in it now. I looked over at her hoping I could brush it off but she had concern written all over her face.

"Chase...is everything okay?" Her tone was serious. I glanced out at my car and then back out into the trees in front of me.

"I messed up, things have been tough and I didn't really handle it very well...last nights things got bad" I admitted

"Got bad?"

"I couldn't take it anymore, I...I...I wanted to end it" I stammered.

I met her gaze and saw her eyes were wide with shock. She reached her hand out and touched my arm. "Chase" she croaked "when you say you wanted to end it..."

"I mean I tried to kill myself" I finished her sentence for her" she gasped and squeezed down on my arm. I could see tears in her eyes

"It's okay, Alex and Nate stopped me" I added sarcastically

"Why the fuck would you do that, what have I missed? Is this because they kissed at the beach the other week? Did she break up with you?"

"Ah so you did know about that, I knew you were baiting me" I smirked

"Chase I'm being fucking serious. What the fuck happened?" She shouted

"I lost control"

"Obviously! You couldn't have been in your right mind if you thought killing yourself was the answer!"

"No I lost control with Alex. I hurt her"

"What?" She asked although I could see her piecing it all together in her mind as her face softened.

"I let my emotions get the best of me and I hurt her, physically" I admitted my face full of shame.

"Is she okay?" She asked warily

"The truth is I don't even know. I've not held a proper conversation with her since then. She found me last night. She saved me and she wanted to talk, she wants to forgive me but I'm not ready for that. I don't deserve to be forgiven"

"Chase you need to hear her out"

"I know, I'm just not ready yet"

"I get that but don't leave it too long, you're going through something too. Chase maybe you should think about seeing someone"

"I don't need to see anyone Chloe. I know what I did was wrong, I'm not going to try and hurt myself again"

"And how am I supposed to believe that?"

"You just have to trust me Chlo. Truth is after seeing her last night, how upset she was, I could never do that to her. I was being selfish"

"Okay...but I think maybe you should talk this over with a professional"

"Chloe talking to some hack isn't going to fix my problems. I need to fix them myself and I just need some time to get my head together. Now thanks for the ride but if you don't mind I'm going to go and clear my head for a bit, I'll call you later"

"You think I'm going to leave you here alone after what you just told me!?"

"Yes I do because you know how much I love Alex so you know I'm telling the truth when I say I couldn't do that to her. Now please, I'll call you later I just really need to clear my head. I promise I won't do anything stupid.

"Fine but if I don't hear from you then you'll regret it"

"You'll hear from me"

I got out of the car and headed through the clearing. An afternoon relaxing at my favourite place was just what I needed to get my head together.

I decided to go for a walk and spent an hour or so following the different paths through the trees at the edge of the creek. It was so peaceful here. I found a patch of grass and decided to lie down, this place had so many memories for me and I wanted to try and erase the bad ones from my mind and just focus on the good ones. I dozed off thinking of the first time I brought Alex here, it felt like a lifetime ago. I let the memory wash over me as I closed my eyes.

When I opened them again it had started to get dark. Shit I must have fallen asleep. I jumped up and checked my phone, it was 6.45pm shit Chloe had dropped me off just after lunch, I must have been asleep for hours. I dropped her a quick text to say I was fine and was just leaving and that I'd call her when I got home. She was probably about ready to send out a search party, I had a message from Nate as well, he was checking in on me probably making sure I didn't plan on doing anything stupid. I brushed down my jeans and headed back towards the path I'd taken. I followed it along the water and saw a figure sat in the dock in the distance. Shit I bet Chloe had come to check up on me after all.

"I told you I'd call when I got home Chlo" I called over. As I got closer I noticed she hadn't moved, a sudden feeling of excitement mixed with apprehension washed over me as I realised my mistake. The figure sat at the dock wasn't Chloe, they had long brown hair.

Lex.

*******
Alex

I'd been sat staring out into the open water for almost an hour. After spending the morning with Nate I decided to go home and try to catch up on some sleep this afternoon but found my mind elsewhere. I'd called and Uber on a whim and just come here without thinking. I closed my eyes as I listened to the relaxing hum of the wind in the trees, the sound of the birds singing had started to die down as it grew darker. I glanced at my phone seeing messages from Nate, Natalie and Josh. My heart sank a little as I realised the one person I wanted to be checking in on me hadn't.

Hey baby let me know if you need some company tonight. It's been a hard couple of days for everyone. I'm here if you need me. N x

I smiled as I read Nate's message. He was always so thoughtful. He had been so understanding since the whole thing with Chase happened. This morning was the first time we'd even got remotely physical since our first time together. I hadn't intended for that to be the case it just didn't feel right with everything going on. I knew he felt it to, I'd heard the apprehension in his thoughts. He didn't want to rush anything whilst my head was all over the place. Although I'm not complaining about our impromptu bathroom fun this morning. I quickly shot back a reply saying I was out clearing my head and I'd check in tomorrow. I sent the same response to Natalie and Josh before putting my phone back in my pocket and looking back out at the lake. A sudden breeze crept through the air making me shiver. I pulled my arms tight around my chest. Maybe it was time to think of heading home, maybe I should of told Nate to come get me after all.

A noise in the distance caught my attention.

"I told you I'd call when I got home Chlo"

I'd know that voice anywhere. I stood up slowly and turned around, my eyes search the trees in the distance before locking onto those piercing green eyes.

Chase.