The connection

Chapter Sixty eight - The way you make me feel

Alex

We stood still as if we were frozen in time just staring at one another. I felt a slight flush to my cheeks as a warmth filled me. I'd missed him so much and after nearly losing him all I wanted to do was run into his arms and have him hold me. He opened his mouth as if to speak but nothing came out. He just stood there looking at me as if in a trance.

"I didn't know you'd be here" I muttered feeling the need to justify why I was here "I know you need time, I didn't come here looking for you" I stammered hoping he understood this was just a coincidence. All be it a happy coincidence in my eyes but I was unsure he would see it that way.

"I'm glad you're here" his velvety voice rang through my head as he spoke the most perfect words. I felt my legs wobble slightly at my delight in hearing them. I couldn't help but let a smile cover my lips but I remained frozen on the spot not wanting to read too much into this. He seemed to sense my apprehension and offered me a small smile in return before gesturing back to the dock where I had just been sat.

"Can we sit and talk?"

"Uh, yeah of course" I croaked, my mouth suddenly dry.

He walked towards me and I turned back and took my seat on the edge of the dock whilst he sat next to me just far away enough so we weren't touching but close enough for me to feel the heat radiating from him. I took a deep breath to calm myself as I suddenly felt hot and flushed.

"I can stand if it will make you more comfortable" he offered as he shuffled ready to get up. Instinctively I grabbed his hand

"No please stay" I pleaded and his eyes softened. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the slight tingle of my hand on his before letting it go and returning my attention to the water. I could feel his eyes on me but I didn't want to read too much into it so I kept my focus straight ahead.

"I'm so sorry Lex, for everything"

That was it, those words were all I needed to bring my eyes back to his.

"I am sorry for hurting you, for letting my emotions get control of me. I should have stopped, I should have been stronger" his eyes were full of emotion as he spoke

"And for last night, you never should have had to go through that. To see me like that. I am so so sorry that I put you through all of this"

I just looked at him unable to find the right words to say back. What did I say? It was okay? Because it wasn't, none of it was but I was so thankful that he was still here, that he was okay. I felt tears prick my eyes and I once again returned my gaze out to the lake.

"I don't expect your forgiveness and I'm certainly not asking for it but I want you to know that no matter what happens I will never ever try to hurt myself again. I couldn't do that to you, not after seeing how upset you were. Lex baby I'm so sorry and I"

I cut him off with a hug before he could finish. I held him so tight I know it had probably taken him by surprise. After a few seconds I felt his arms wrap around me and he pulled me in close to his chest. We didn't speak, didn't move we just held each other for the next five minutes. When we finally pulled away I had tears streaming down my cheeks, he held my face in his hands and wiped them away with his thumbs.

"I'm so sorry baby" he whispered as he rested his forehead against mine "I hope one day you can learn to forgive me" I moved my arms to cup his face in return

"I already have" I whispered back. I pulled back and looked deep into his eyes "now you just need to forgive yourself" I finished. His smile dropped slightly and a sudden breeze made me shiver.

"Here take this" he said as he removed his jacket and held it out to me. I slipped my arms into the sleeves enjoying the warmth of him on my skin. It had his signature smell, and I took a deep breath to savour it before returning my attention to him noticing he was watching me closely with a slight smirk. My eyes flashed down to his now bare arms and took in the red scratch lines that covered them. My cheeks instantly heated up as my eyes met his once again.