Into The Rose Garden (Seidou x Kanae/Karren)

Chapter Forty-one - Broken glass

Kanae hummed peacefully, as Seidou looked down, his eyes foggy and drained. Kanae pours a cup of coffee for the two of them within Seidou's room, smelling the relaxing aroma of coffee beans and freshly brewed coffee.

Kanae takes the cups and walks them over to the male, placing them onto the small table. Seidou looked over at the beverage, smiling rather weakly. Kanae doesn't say a single word, and instead, calmly takes a sip from his cup of joe.

Seidou looks down at his lap, allowing his smile to slowly fade. "I'm sorry for becoming a pain all the time, especially when you were just trying to teach me something important to you..." Kanae raised an eyebrow, tilting his head. "Seriously, where did that come from? That dosen't really sound like you." 

Seidou chuckled lightly, slowly reaching to grab his cup, holding it gently. "Y-Yeah, I guess so... I guess I...just don't see the point in arguing anymore, like...there really is no point in it..." "Hey, come on! You're just a person with faults, I don't-!" "But it's those faults that cause me the most trouble."

Kanae tilted his head, leaning his body forward. "What? Hey now, what are you talking about...?" Seidou looks closer into his drink, seeing his broken reflection. 

"Every night, it's the same... When I go to sleep...it all happens again...it follows me, and there's nothing I can do about it." "What are you-?" Suddenly, Seidou clamps his hands together, tight enough to shatter the cup within his hands.

Kanae jumps out from his chair, kneeling before the mildly distressed male. "TAKIZAWA!" Seidou looks at his bloodied hands, smiling weakly. "The scary thing is...I can't even tell if that's the dream or if this is... Like, this feels real enough, but so does that... What if...what if this is the dream, and I can wake up from it at any minute?"

Kanae's face becomes much more concerned, frightened, worried... Kanae shakes his head softly. "What are you-? Ugh, Takizawa, you're bleeding! I'll get something to disinfect it and cover it up!" 

Seidou chuckles lightly. "What's the point...? It's just going to heal before you get back, it always does." "Takizawa, that doesn't matter! You need help right now!" And so, Kanae leaves in a flash, coming back seconds later.

He quickly washes it, disinfects it and bandages it. Seidou lowers his head, letting his smile drop. "I'm sorry...even when I won't sleep, the blood still doesn't go away..." Kanae looks up at the male, tilting his head. 

"You won't-? Takizawa, are your sleeping problems really that bad?" Seidou looks away, shrugging. "I put up with it for a while now, but recently, it's been getting worse." 

Kanae gently places a hand on Seidou's injured one. "Do you...want to talk about it? I-I mean, I know we're really not the closest, but-!" "I can't..."

Kanae scoffed lightly. "What, why not? Like I said, we're not-!" "I-It's not like that! I can't tell anyone about it, no one must know! After everything that's happened to me, I can't afford to let anyone know!"

Kanae suddenly has a realization, a realization on why that was! It wasn't just the 'dreams', it was far beyond that...it must've been about his past!

Kanae sighed, a soothing yet frustrated sigh. Looking up at Seidou, he asks... "Does...it have something to do with where you were before...?" Suddenly, Seidou entire body tenses up. "Ah, so I'm right on the mark, aren't I?"

Instead of becoming understandably upset, Seidou chuckled softly. "Was I that obvious?" "Not really, it's honestly really hard to figure you out. You keep to yourself a lot, and when something upsets you, you either brush it away or feel shame from how your own body and mind reacts. It was a matter of time before you began to slowly unravel."

Seidou sighed roughly. "When did you learn so much about something like this, and why are you acting so clever about it?" Kanae placed his index finger under his chin, thinking for a short while before tracing back an answer. 

"Back when Matsume attended school, she found an interest in psychology, and thought it was important for everyone to be aware of it. She lectured me the most about it, so...spill it."

Seidou stayed there, frozen and hesitant as always. He took a deep breath, and breathed out. 'Don't say anything.' "I...I don't think I can talk about the dreams, but...you're right, it is about where I was before." Seidou continues. "Back when I was there, I was greatly mistreated, and was looked at as not a person...but...something else. Barely anyone there, bothered themselves to learn about who I was really. I was hurt, in so many ways; however...I don't think I'll ever be able to talk about that. Not that I forgot about any of it, but...I don't know. A part of my mind believes it was nothing more than a nightmare, and another part is afraid of what might come after." 

Seidou held himself by the arm, shivering slightly. "Even though I'm 'free' from that kind of treatment, it still follows my life whenever I sleep... It's so vivid and realistic, and it always makes me believe that it was indeed real, that I never escaped, and what I'm seeing right now isn't even-!"

Seidou stops himself, turning his head away from the younger male. He suddenly stands up, holding himself. "I-I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything about it! Please forget what I said!" "Takizawa, wait-!" Seidou quickly dashes out of his own room, fighting the urge to cry and carry on to the hallways.

'Stupid, I'm so stupid! A ghoul like him would never understand what to do!' The male thought. 'I told you not to say anything, half-blooded freak!'