Into The Rose Garden (Seidou x Kanae/Karren)

Chapter Fourteen - Grudge

It was all started when I was rather...small. I never remembered having any parents, but from what I heard, my mother died right after she gave birth to me; apparently she got hurt severely from CCG. And my father...? Left me and my older brother all alone when I was two years of age. Every time I asked about him, all my brother told me was that he was selfish and pathetic to leave us. That was his answer... Every. Single. Time.

After a while, I used that same question as a means to know it was always him, to know it was always my brother. Becoming a little inside joke of ours, one that had to have context for outsiders.

My brother was always there for me, I was content with never meeting our father, because deep down I knew...Yan was truly the father I had believed was gone.

Throughout all of the troubling times, terrifying times as well as the sorrowful times, Yan was always there to protect me and comfort me. No matter the struggle and no matter the conflict, he was always there.

Even when he was stressed or scared himself, he never did let me see and kept it all to himself, and just played games with me. As if nothing was ever wrong.

Then one day, my brother told me something a little more...serious. Don't get me wrong, my brother was indeed serious from time to time, but this moment in particular really was the first time he was serious. If you can understand what I mean by this.

He told me all about how he and a few other 'buddies' were going to start their own ghoul group, or to put it more bluntly, a gang.

Me being young, naïve and supportive, I too wanted to join in with my brother. He simply chuckled and ruffled my hair, telling me he just wanted me to live as normally of a life as I could. I opened my mouth and said... "This is normal to me, with you Yan, anything is normal!" I stated so cheerfully and positively. However, Yan looked at me in a way that caught me off guard. Almost as if someone just told him something beyond offensive, as well as overly depressing.

I was so confused, scared even. I never saw that expression on my brother's face before, did I do something wrong that upset him? I couldn't figure it out at the time.

I tried asking him what was so wrong, but he didn't say anything, he was drifting into his own thoughts. So I shook him, crying out to him and asking what was wrong yet again. He snapped out of it, looked down at me and went back to the same smile I've always seen him wear. Telling me everything was fine, and even if I wasn't going to become a member, I was still given the complete right to live within their base.

That day still haunted me for quite a while, to this day I can't completely shake it off.

What followed is a little complicated to explain, but I'll give out the truth and only the truth.

As I stayed at the base with a few other members, my brother would constantly talk about what the gang was about. Not too much, but he gave me the basics of it. The name of was Chi She Lian, or 'Red Tongue Company' and as I knew, members began growing and growing like wild fire.

My brother began looking nicer, new clothes and whatnot. He also got me some clothes and toys whenever he could. However, as time passed, I was starting to see him less and less. One time, he didn't get the chance to see me until four days since the last time. All I felt while he was gone was worry.

Where did he go within that entire time? What was he doing? Is he alright? I never did find out what exactly he got himself wrapped into, but I never considered finding out myself. However, from my understanding now, none of it was good and it was extremely shady. 

Even if I knew then, I don't think I would've looked at him any less. He was my brother, my best friend, the only person I knew I could always trust. He treated me so well, and he was everything to me.