Into The Rose Garden (Seidou x Kanae/Karren)

Chapter One hundred and three - Sickly Detached

Note: Though I have made Seidou written to carry PTSD, anything involving split personalities is completely out of my reach. I didn't want to diagnose him with a disorder involving that, considering that it's far more complicated than that, and I am not a professional. However, for sure I can say that in his case, his PTSD is tied into this. Also, as always, psychological trauma and abuse! Viewer description is advised. 

"You can't just be afraid of Takizawa forever, Kanou! Takizawa isn't even-!" The elder male scoffed. "I'm sorry, afraid?! I am not afraid of that safety hazard." The older man corrected, and yet still quivering. Pulling his hand back as he noticed. "I-I'm not...I'm not... Just let me do my work in peace, and I'll eventually check up on him..." Tatara nodded, leaving right after.

Kanou huffed and puffed, sitting into his desk. Holding onto his head, rapidly tapping his foot. Sighing deeply, that of a weakened and lost sound, escaping him.

That feeling, that specific one that day, didn't seem to fade. Was that fear? Of course it was that, however it just resides there. 'Dammit, does this nuisance ever go away...? God, it's annoying. Why a-am I so unsteady? I hate this...'

Kanou again scoffed, flipping through papers as his leg kept up its bouncing. 'This all came from that little twerp, it's so ridiculous. I-I can't remember the last time I've felt this way, I hate it. God how I hate it...' Kanou sighed, standing up, pacing back and forth. "Come on, you need to get over this rut, Akihiro. You have work to do."

The male took a deep, deep breath, facing the door. Walking towards it, preparing to open the gateway, he instantly turns around upon the touch. "Aaaand I might need another minute..."

Kanou went back to his desk, rummaging through the contents. Nothing new was being learned, he was holding everything back. And even he had to accept that. 'How could I let this happen, and how could I let that faze me? And...why did that even happen?' As weird as it was, something didn't seem to add up. 'I've known Takizawa long enough to see through his intensions, his personality, his goals! All of those other times he had lost it, something has to be missing...' Kanou thought back at when that happened, even down to Seidou sobbing onto the ground, for once grateful over something. Not taking another life.

Raising a hand up, he spoke to himself within a somewhat gentle manner. "Why would someone that seemed so relieved over their tormentor not dying, and just...?" He lets go of his hand, letting gravity take it. "I don't understand... When he did that, he was like a completely different-!" 

Slapping his forehead, Kanou gasps. "Oh my god!" He shouted, a now obvious realization. Kanou starts jotting down these thoughts. "I can't believe this, I didn't think this could be the outcome! Heh, life just kind of kicks you where it hurts, now doesn't it? Unreal..." Kanou scoffed at himself. "Though I suppose there's no way knowing for sure of what it is, but I think I have a good enough idea..." Kanou smirked, chuckling lightly as he figured out certain meanings to his situations. To him, he'll be able to manage this. Strangely enough, that careful planning gives him a small sense of security. His chest eases, holding onto it softly. "Finally..."

Relaxing into his chair, he recalls his plans for preparation. Holding up his fingers as he began his coordinated counting. "Hmm... Talk to Takizawa, allow a personal punishment with Tatara, and...experiment." Kanou frowns. 'This has to work out.'

And as Kanou sat down, relaxing and allowing for the tension to ease even more. He looked over a slightly opened drawer, seeing a small slip of paper, completely out of place. "Huh, that doesn't seem right." Grabbing onto it, instantly noticing the texture of it. This wasn't like the papers he had been using, it was really smooth. The first written words he saw, were three names... 'Akai, Suzume...and Akihiro (age 4).'