Into The Rose Garden (Seidou x Kanae/Karren)

Chapter Fifty - Aftershock

Seidou sits peacefully in bed, wearing an expressionless look on his face, trying to rethink himself and get himself grounded again. He did nothing but doze off and stare at his motionless hands, occasionally glancing over to the window. 'Why did that happen...? Did I overreact, and make things worse for everyone?' Seidou sighed, a few tears escape him.

'I wonder how Kanae is right now, is he still working out there?' He thought and thought. 'Did I embarrass him...? I'm so stupid, why did I breakdown like that...?' Seidou lifted his knees up to his chest, lowering his head as he held it tight. 'I need to get over myself, I can't do this again. What if-?'

There's a gentle knock at the door, causing the male to flinch. It slowly opens, and it turns out to be just the male he was thinking about. "Hey Seidou, I decided to stay here after all. Are you okay, is anything hurting?" Seidou puts on a smile, with tears streaming as he turned his head to Kanae.

"Nope, I'm just fine. Y-You can leave." Kanae sighs, shutting the door behind him. "I'm not leaving you. It's fine if you get panic attacks, a lot of us have had them before. Our bodies have all kinds of ways for dealing with stress, some scarier than others. You shouldn't be ashamed." Seidou turned his head away, wiping the last tear away.

"I'm sorry you had to see me cry...again." Kanae walks over a little closer. "That's fine too, I don't mind. Did you figure out what upset you?" Seidou nods. "The saw...it frightened me, I'm sorry."

Kanae takes a chair, moving it to the male's bedside. "That's good to know, don't worry about telling me why. You're safe, alright? Nothing's going to hurt you, no one will hurt you." Seidou puts on a weak smile, while Kanae hands him a glass of water he had brought in. "I thought you would need this." "Thank you." Taking the glass and taking a drink from it before putting it to the side.

Kanae sighs. "Anyway...you wanna talk for a bit?" Seidou chuckled softly. "About what?" "I don't know...have you seen the latest football game?" Seidou raised an eyebrow. "You mean soccer?" "What now? You mean how Americans put it? I guess."

Seidou sighed warmly, resting his elbow on his knee and his chin on his palm. "No, I haven't. I liked stuff like that, but I haven't found the right time for myself." Kanae perks up. "Well, I can try to tell you about it. It was unbelievable!" 

And so, Kanae began to speak and rant. Over how crazy it was for the opposing team to win, and for his team to strike physically at one point in the game. "Yeah, that punch came out of NOWHERE! I love that team, but they're on some thin ice right now." "Honestly, that team sounds pretty overrated..." A gasp escapes Kanae, and he lowers his eyelids suspiciously.

"Take that back." "It's just a team..." Kanae crosses his arms. "Take it back, they're a team from my home country."

Seidou rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'm sorry... Hey, Kanae...thank you for coming back here, it means a lot." "You always say that." "But it's true!" Seidou suddenly began to blush immensely, shifting his eyes around. "It's true... And I appreciate everything else. If you hadn't bought me, I probably would've ended up dead or raped. And I appreciate you coming out to me, as a trans male. A-And I appreciate you trying to help me socially."

Kanae tilts his head. "What's this all about?" "N-Nothing! I'm just so...grateful, really. I don't think I say it enough." Kanae holds back a smirk, trying not to brag or enjoy this. "Oh, thank you Seidou. I can...appreciate you as well, at times..." Kanae's cheeks flush into a bright red.

"As much as I don't want to toot your horn, you have to know that...you're very helpful. All you ask for is work and basic needs. You go out of your way to actually do something useful, and you try to challenge yourself by doing more. But Seidou, you do a lot, and...I respect you for that."