Into The Rose Garden (Seidou x Kanae/Karren)

Chapter One hundred and nine - Warmth

Warning: This story regularly tackles themes of abuse. From Emotional all the way to sexual abuse and trauma. With this chapter also going into hints of consensual sexual acts and dialog.

"So, that must have been tough, seeing your abusers again. Are you okay?" Seidou sighs, holding onto a rather relaxed and unmoving Donut. "I'm fine, I-I...I feel safe now. For the most part at least. I have my friends, and Karren-!" Donut barks nervously, and Seidou snickers. "And of course I have you, Donut." Donut nuzzled her snout onto Seidou.

Seidou clears his throat, blushing immensely as he struggled to speak out on something. Hotoshi smiles softly, backing away subtly. "Take your time. It...looks like you want to say something, so take your time." Seidou smiles, a humbled and warm smile.

"Thanks... You know, Hotoshi...I think I like talking to you. I used to feel embarrassed by the idea of getting all of this stuff out to a complete stranger. And although I still should have my boundaries with who I share with, I'm just glad...you're this helpful about it." Hostoshi nods. "Well of I course I would be, it may be my job, but I truly care for my patients. Personally, just between us...I find your case to be the most interesting so far." Hostoshi scoffs. "Seriously, I don't want to lose my job!" The two share a laugh, with Seidou especially going wild. Hostoshi waited and waited, until Seidou's laughter faded into peaceful silence.

"I...do think I'm getting better. I'm not saying I'm suddenly 'cured' or anything like that, I do have my scary moments. But, right now...I'm the most stable I've ever been in months! I-I've been able to do a lot of things that bothered me in the past, and I mean a lot of things!" Seidou shies his face away slightly, before turning back to her. "You did say...everything in here is private, right?" "Yes." Seidou wears a giddy, warm and sheepish expression, sighing deeply as he continued to hold onto a chill Donut. 

"W-Well, um... N-Nearly three weeks ago, my uh girlfriend and I-! Phew, this is uh...much more intimidating than I thought, but... We...We became intimate and uh...d-did 'the deed'." Hotoshi tilts her head, eyebrow raised.

"Pardon? 'The deed', what 'deed' are you even referring-? Oh, Oh! You mean sex?" Seidou yelped, burying his face into Donut. "I-I'm sorry, that was way too personal! It's redundant, it's stupid... God, I'm sorry..." "Hey, hey! It's nothing to be embarrassed about. You have said in the past that the idea of that kind of intimacy scared you, right?" Seidou nodded. "Yeah, because of the...you know." 

Hotoshi smiled warmly, nodding as she placed her hand onto her chest rather proudly. "I am so elevated for you...! That must been so freeing to accomplish, be proud of yourself too! And your girlfriend...she must have been so amazing for you to trust her that much." Seidou scoffed fondly. "She really is..."

Seidou sniffed, pulling his head back as to avoid the downpour of tears. "It took a lot of time, but even now, it was definitely worth working through it. She's so careful and loving, while also being quite...um, desirable. We had to take baby steps at first, but..." Seidou squealed, holding onto Donut even more. And Hotoshi giggled at the young man's mildly girl-like attitude towards it. Seidou sighs, laying on the sofa. "I never want to forget that feeling I had with her, it's the best feeling I have ever felt! And yet, even if I know I've made a few mistakes during and after it, I...don't care as much about it. Because, I don't know..."

Hotoshi smiles warmly, bringing in her own understanding and concept on the event. Not at all condescending, but more on the side of acknowledgement and maturity. They were both adults, so of course she wouldn't treat him as anything less than such. And it went without a hitch.

Seidou changed the subject for the last ten minutes. "And after this, I do have some shopping to do." "Christmas?" Seidou pets Donut, with her warmly wagging her stubby tail.