Into The Rose Garden (Seidou x Kanae/Karren)

Chapter Eighty-five - Meeting you

When I was kidnapped for the second time, I was beyond terrified. It was different than the first time... I didn't know anything about what would happen to me. A lot of my captors joked and laughed about me either becoming food or a sex slave. 

In all honesty, I did too. I missed so many of my friends, and I missed so much of my old freedoms. My home, my friends, my safety, my job and especially my family.

In all of my time apart from it all, I cried and called out to them, every day and night...but no one heard me. The only thing that saved me from my first hell was pure luck that a dear friend had found me. But during the auction...I had no one.

I was at the mercy of my potential owner, and that thought kept me awake as I stayed the night there. I thought over many things, both good and bad, mostly bad. I thought about how I never apologized to my partner, about how my scars would disable me and about the uncertainty of everything else. Who would want to even buy a mess like me? For all I knew, they could've been complete sadists, and I would just go back to constant physical and mental pain.

I was stuck in a situation I couldn't think myself out of. I was a sure goner, and I had no one to rely on anymore.

But then...you came along, and bought me. To be honest, I was still pretty scared. I never knew you to begin with, so for all I knew...you were just planning to eat me. I remember that night so well, every little detail. The sounds of murmurs, of shifting around and it wasn't just sounds. The lights were blaring, with a tougher glimpse on the background audience, like some sort of flare affect. The pounding of my chest, as I looked around yet I stayed frozen and shocked. Before hearing your booming voice, announcing your bid. If only I had known at the time...that you were the one I ended up falling in love with.

You were kind of rude, but also somewhat kind...in your own way. I had never heard a voice like yours, and I had never seen a ghoul like you. I have to admit, I always found you pretty, even if I thought you were male.

Still, I didn't know you...so how could I trust you? Could you blame me for being afraid? Were you actually annoyed of me, or were you hiding behind that tough act of yours? At first I thought I found someone special, twice. But getting to know you...I know you're my soulmate.

I know that's a stretch, a-and I know it'll be harder to tell you everything, but...that's how it feels. I don't know how it happened, or even remember when it happened. It just did. Houji would be so disappointed in me, maybe even my parents... But, I'm kind of used to it, or I should be.

You were so abrasive, but...warm? When you decided to spend your time into training and conversing with me. It was just friendly at first, but eventually...you showed me your garden. The one place personal to you. You unlocked yourself, opening up about your story. You shared little bits in the beginning, but I shrugged it off. It was your story to tell, after all.

You acted tough, but you had the same eyes as myself, you were deeply hurt. You forced yourself to hide who you truly were, and you did it with a functioning but weak smile. 

Meeting you, saved my life. I owe you everything, I'm afraid because...what if I leave you behind too? If that happened, I wouldn't bother to live anymore, or do anything. I learned to care for you deeply, and I don't want to see you hurt either.

Those woeful eyes of yours, shining with that of a jewel, only to dull from one more loss. If I could, I would take in that pain you have instead. I've always hated seeing a pretty lady so sad.

I love you, and whatever happens between us, I just wish to tell you about how I feel completely. All of it.

I want to protect you, as much as you had done with me. Even if it leads me down a road of pain and torture, that's just what I want. I want to protect everyone, just mainly you. Going through it, recalling those simple moments. Of you you holding my face, looking into my eyes, telling each other both sweet nothings and meaningful focuses. Seeing your face actually light up, as if you were far more than just a foreigner, far from home! No words can truly describe it...

Karren von Rosewald, I am in love with you.