Into The Rose Garden (Seidou x Kanae/Karren)

Chapter Seventy-seven - Rare joy

I wander throughout the hallways of my lab, looking through each capsule. Scribbling within my notes, questioning my time put into it. Day by day, it was always the same... That one, a failure, the other, a failure and same old same old. Disappointment was an 'emotion' I had long gotten tired of. I just wanted to feel the way I did, the day Ken Kaneki was a known success. 

I felt genuine joy, that day. An artificial ghoul, and he wasn't wasting away from his own body. My very first prototype, became my ultimate success. I felt a rare joy, that I have NEVER felt before in a long, LONG time. It felt...nice.

But with the rate I was going at, a case like his seemed...impossible. I knew I was asking for too much, when I wanted a case as successful as his, and exact. But I couldn't help myself, I wanted to experience that feeling again.

Finally, I was able to feel something. And it was joy. It was like a high, a high I wanted to go through over and over again. As if my goals and ambitions were the source, and the more and more I went into it, the wider range of emotions I could feel. Who knows, maybe sorrow and anger will be added into there.

My project was giving me purpose, and I had to keep going, even with how tedious it was. A lot was depending on this, and it wasn't looking good. One day, I sighed to myself, as I stood alone.

Within the latest events, the majority of investigators were in critical condition, and for once within my line of work...I was beginning to lose in hope. I had gotten so far, and yet it was all slipping away as time passed. I sighed, tapping my foot.

I stared up, looking over each capsule; the investigators would be dead, if it weren't for the support systems. However, something caught my attention, a single relaxed beeping. Where was that coming from, which capsule was that coming from? Who was it coming from? I followed along to the source of the soothing beeping, and found it attached to a capsule that held a young man.

I felt my chest leap, leaning back at the railing as I observed him. I slowly hold onto a communication device, contacting one of my assistants. "Hello...? Yes, I'll need three of you here. I found a...questionably healthy case here, and I would like to run a few tests... Yes! As soon as possible, thank you."

To which I hang up, sighing deeply. And somehow, that feeling, that rare joy I felt so long ago, made it's way back into my thoughts. I was getting my hopes up rather high, but this showed promise.

Out of everyone, he was still alive and well. He was alive! "H-He's actually alive, he's actually alive! W-We did it, I did it! I-I can't believe it!" I hold onto my head, as this overwhelming sensation takes ahold of my body and mind, still leaning against the railing.

I hadn't felt this way since, well...Kaneki. I didn't think I would actually experience this again, but I did. I'm so glad that I did. Who knew?

"I did it, I did it! H-He's...He's alive!" I look up at the young male, looking over his resting face, expressionless and unchanging. I smile warmly, as pride was added into the mix. "Y-You're alive... You're really alive."

The three that I have called over finally get to me, and my location. My chest was still pounding, and my mind was still drowsy from intense emotion. Was this what happiness felt like? It feels amazing.

We go over how to extract what we need, in which one of the assistants worked through a system of tubes and whatnot. As they worked on the testing, I go into my private study. Recording the current events.

Even with all of the bodies lost, and complete failures, this sparked passion into my soul. I was making progress, and I did have a purpose to being here on this planet. As I waited for the day I can take the young male out, I would often keep myself busy. I normally checked on him, and the other capsules, preparing his cell and even going as far as doing background research on him.

I thought over how to begin treatment with him, or how to behave. Should I just be my true self or public self. Eh, it'll be easier if I'm just my true self. It's less draining anyway...

The feeling of joy had subsided a little, becoming weaker as I had gotten used to all of this. Though it was nice while it lasted, I had to move on.

Things changed once he ran away though, and I couldn't help but have this accumulating energy within my gut. It felt like something was dormant, hidden. But was bound to burst over anything discouraging. 

To me, it felt as if something important to me, more important than just simply living, was ripped and taken away from me.

I couldn't know until it happened, and I'm glad it did. Anger, or more accurately...rage.