I'm feeling naughty

15

Gus POV
I carried her in my room and layed her in my bed.
None of us said anything when I cuddled up next to her. I just heard her swallow and cry. She seemed so fragile and sorrowful. Her sight broke me a little more.
Laying my head on her shoulder and smelling her scent, I finally fell asleep after one week without really sleeping.

The next day I woke up asking my self wether this was just a trip or happened in real life. She didn't lay next to me. Shit. I need that stuff again to see her.

I walked in the bathroom and there she was, in the shower, naked.

„Peep what the fuck, get outta here"
„Defnitly not"
I didn't even thought about leaving the room.
I walked to the sink and brushed my teeth. A few thoughts I spent on hopping under the shower too, but then I discarded cause I wouldn't like to act like a perv. But fuck she was so beautiful with the wet blonde hair. I wondered if I could get her to dye it.
„You are such a peeper. Get your ass in here"
But when we had sex now again, she'd think it was all about this. Maybe it was for her. But this wouldn't have to end in sex, so I hopped under the shower.
„Good Morning my dear, cause you were away I shortly thought this was just a very good trip"
„Maybe I'm not here right now"
We both laughed and I wetted my head. She touched my waist to get the shampoo. Okay keep yourself under control. We are just taking a shower.
„Oh I'm sorry"
„No worries"
I held my hand so she could pour some shampoo in it.
„Your hair really needs conditioner" she said while I rinsed out the shampoo. She grabbed the bottle and massaged the conditioner in my hair. I had to bow down so she could reach it. She turned around so I could condition her hair too. I began massaging her back and moved further down as I had to. She turned around and I looked her in the eyes. They were sill woken up but she looked livelier now. I layed my hands on her waist and kissed her on the forehead.
I looked at her arms and was shooked. How hadn't I noticed that her arms were covered in little scars. They seemed old but on her wrist were some fresh red cuts. Fuck. Did she do that because of me? She noticed that I looked at them.
„Fuck they seem fresh"
„Don't worry it's just a little relapse"
„Yes a relaps caused by me"
„No it's just I can't really talk about my feelings and I need another valve. I can control it so don't look at me like I'm suicidal"
I grabbed her hand and drove over her wrists with my fingers. I kissed her fresh cuts knowing this is something very intimate.
„Tell me how you feel, about your emotions"
„Just that you don't talk to me for a week again? No thanks"
„I thought you could text me too"
„No, stupid. I mean I could but ehm I'm just not good in doing something like this"
I began to brush over her soft skin again.
„Nervermind, now you are here"
The atmosphere was ruined, but from the moment I went to the bathroom, I hadn't the intuition to have sex with her so it was okay.
I got out of the shower and keept starring at her while she dried herself.

Tracy came into the room, checking wether I'm still alive cause I've been abusing drugs to much the last few days.
„Are you okay? Who was there last night I just heard you opening the door"
Speaking of the devil Rose came out of the bathroom, just wearing underwear.
„Holy shit what are you doin here?" She looked over to Tracy, then to me
Tracy looked at her a little to long.
„I understand why you like her"
This wasn't the reason I liked her. I liked her cause she treated me normal and not like a celebrity or anything like that.
„You won't see a live porn in here so go" I said harsh.
„I'd like to see her in action"
Rose made puke noises and I had to laugh.
„Get the fuck outta here"
Finally Tracy left the room.

„What did you do the past week?"
I should be honest otherwise it could end up in another fight.
„I cope in a way you don't understand. I abused drugs and fucked bitches so..."
She looked like something just broke inside her.
„Oh"
She layed her head a bit further away from me. I just moved in the direction too. No problema. We just layed there for a few minutes.
„What did u do?"
She looked me in the eyes obviously thinking how she should express it to me.
„Well I just went to class and spent time in my room"
„You are in college? Smart Girl"
„Yes I studie chem, it's been my dream since I don't know"
„So you can produce meth"
We laughed.
„I feel better now" She said after a while.
„Yes kinda"
„I think I gotta go home, I went here without telling anybody and I haven't spoken to Joel or his parents since ages"
„But you are coming to my concert are you?"
„Tell me where and when and I'll probably be there"
„I'm gonna send you the address. Today at 8pm"
„Okay"
She putted on her cloth and left only giving me a air kiss from the door.
What is this between us? I mean there is sex without love and love without sex, but what is this between us?