I'm feeling naughty

45

Gus POV

We crashed on her bed and I slid her shirt a little in to lay my hands on her belly.
„I won't be able to do this. I'm so scared. How should I tell my family? Phill is gonna kill you"
I laughed and slid my thumb over the soft skin of hers.

„He indeed is gonna kill me. But no worries, I have a glock in my room"
„GUS!"
„What it's the truth"
„You can't be a father and a criminal. This doesn't work."

I stared at the walls of her room. There hung pictures of quite everything you can imagine. Pictures with Joel, her familiy, some aesthetic wallpaper like thinks, rappers like ghostmane, future and even some pictures of me and a selfie of us with a heart around my head. Her whole wall was covered in pictures.

„Gus?"
„Yeah I was just staring at those sexy pictures of me"
„You are being selfish"
„I know"
„There are so many things we have to talk about"
„I know, but let's calm down I'm in shock"

I indeed was in shock. I didn't know what to do, this will completely change my live, forever. There is no going back and there will be a new person in a few month, my baby. I'm way to young for this. But we couldn't get an abortion, that's just weird and I wouldn't be able to handle this either. In my eyes, when you get a child, you loose the ability to live your life the way you want to, but loosing the child isn't an option too. Now that I know it exists, I don't want to loose it. But did I really want it?
I laid my head on her tummy and kissed it.
„Aren't you in shook too?" I asked as she drove her finger through my hair.
„I am, I don't know what to say"
„This doesn't feel real"
„Yes, but it is"

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This can't be real. It's so unbelievable.
„How far do you think you are?"
„I don't know, we should go to a doctor"
„You don't know how scared I am"
„I do know, cause I think I'm even more scared then you"
„How are we gonna tell our familys? I'm turning 20 in only two month, your family will kill me if they find out I got you pregnant and you are just a little younger then me. It's way to early for this"
„Then we'll just make an appointment for an abortion. I can't handle it either"
„Listen, we can't loose our little peep inside of you. I love him or her just as much as I love you."
I rubbed over her belly again and kissed it.
She pulled a little on my hair, then gasped and cleared her throat.

„We have to think about this as adults, I'm still into university, you are famous and make music. I know your dream is to tour through the whole world. You won't be able to do that with a mini version of you. I don't wanna stay alone with our baby all the time and I know it's gonna end like this"

Ouch this hurt. My father had left and I don't want my little sunshine to think the same of me. I will make it better and I won't suck just like my father. „No it won't. I'll be a great father. I won't end like my father"
„And I don't wanna end like my mother, left alone pregnant, get abusive cause I don't want my child. My mother is a horrible person, she abused me mentally and physically, I don't want to end like her"
„You won't. You will be a great mommy and I know it's hard sometimes, but we will make it, as a family"
„But how do I tell my family? How are you going to tell the world? I mean you are famous."
„We will find a way and we don't have to tell everybody right now. We have time, and we should find out wether our baby is healthy at an ultrasound or whatever they have to do, before we tell anyone"
„You are right, omg. What if it's not healthy?"
Her breath go a little quicker and she laied one hand on her tummy next to my head.
„It will" I said and kissed her hand, then her belly.
„But what if it-
„Rose there are many ifs, but we will get through them. I know that"
„We have to tell our families."
„My mom will be happy, I don't know about yours and your family in general."
„I'm quite sure they will kick me out or I don't know. They'll be quite disappointed"
Kick her out? What the fuck. We have to find a solution.
„What if you move with me?" I said that without thinking about it.
„That's quite a big step"
„Getting a baby is a big step and sooner or later you will have to move in cause we can't live separated if we have a little peep."
She stayed silent for a few minutes and was probably thinking about what I just said.
„You're right. We should move as fast as possible, then they can't kick me out or anything worse, I mean I have tuition to pay"
„I can pay. No problem"
„They are quite expensive, can you afford them just in case they would kick me out and stuff?"
„Rose, I'd do anything for you, I love you more then you could ever imagine. I'd literally burn everything down, I'd run around the whole world twice, just to make you happy. I don't wanna loose you"
I grabbed her hand, which still laied next to my head.
„I don't wanna lose you either"

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A/n I'm sorry the story goes on so fast lately, But I hope it's getting better again soon. I'm kind of struggling with writing currently.