I'm feeling naughty

53

Rose POV

With the help of Joel, I sat an appointment for a consultation about abortions at a hospital, I wouldn't be able to handle it alone. I mean it's been one and a half week and there isn't a single sign. At least it's just a consultation.

I still cry my eyes out every day about it and I'm in general not over it cause all these memories are just there and they won't and can't leave. They'll never. But god damn I hate him for the things he did.

Before I got out of my room, I checked my reflection in the mirror. My pink hair had almost completely fade, my eyes were red from crying and my nose was puffy. A horrible sight.

I walked to my car and stared the engine and his music started bumping on full volume. On my way to the doctor I had to cry again and my eyeliner was smudged as fuck because of that. I don't want it but I can't stand anything else. It is just a consultation I tried to calm myself down a little.

Somebody ran towards my car, I couldn't stop and then there was that horrible noise.
„For fuck sake"
I got out of my car and Gustav stood in front of me.
„I know you hate me, but this wouldn't have been necessary" he mumbled.
„Omg wait are you fine? I'm sorry I was just zoned out"
„Yeah yeah I am actually not but this is not because of the accident. Wait where did you want to go?"
„Doctors appointment"
„To see if our sunshine is alright?"
I didn't say anything just stared at his deep brown eyes. I just want to kiss him but also I want to beat his ass up.

„Listen Rose, I know where you wanted to go and I totally get you I'm a dick, a pathetic peace of shit, i even deserved getting run over by the car by you, but hear me out. You won't like the shit I'm gonna say"
„Then don't say it"
I turned around but he snapped my arm and kissed my hands. My sleeve slid up, he noticed it, stared at the red lines, then pulled them down and looked in my eyes
„Listen my dear, I tried every drug in the whole god damn world to forget you, it always helped, but this time it didn't, nothing helped. I almost killed myself in the abusing of pills, but I noticed the only thing that could help me is you. Nothings makes me as happy as you do and I was so stupid to not text you or just show up at yours in that time"

My mouth got dry and my eyes started to fill with water. I couldn't talk cause I knew I'd cry then. I just looked at him.

„Fuck Rose please talk you know I love you. Please don't let this end like that, don't let us end"
I sniffed my nose, then looked back in his pale face. He seemed sad and helpless, like a three year old telling you he just burned your house down. Somehow cute but he knows he made up shit.

„I know that you love, but if you want me to love you, don't make me loathe you. Do you even know what love means? It is trusting each other and even let them do what they want but still be loyal. I was in a constant state of overthinking the past week, what did you do? Nothing! You know how I am and you promised me to never leave, and what did you do? You left!"
He winced as I spoke out these words and let go of my hand.

„Rose, my girl, I know I suck, please forgive me, I'm begging you, if there weren't the bad sites of live how could we appreciate the good ones. It's like you wouldn't know how good McDonald's is if you don't know how bad broccoli is. I see your still not over it and as long as your not I won't lose hope"
„ But broccoli doesn't affect the way McDonald's tastes like and why do you think I'm not over it?"
„ My smart girl, I love you talking back at me like that, but firstly your blasting my music full volume"
I smirked „Maybe I just like it?"

„Secondly you hit me with your car and I know you, you are always 100 percent focused on the things you do"
I smirked again wiping the wetness underneath my eyes away.
„Maybe I was just thinking about the appointment"

„Thirdly you cried, your eyeliner is completely smudged"
„Just thinking about the appointment?"
„Fuck shit you forget about this appointment better right now"
He looked at me like I'm insane.
„Why are you looking at me like that?"
„I'm definitely pro choice, but I fell in love with the idea of having a family with you"
„It's to fast and it's just because we are some dump people that can't use protection"
He stepped closer and I took a step back, but there was the car.

„What I wanted to say is I love you, more than anything else and if you don't, then you should have driven a little faster cause this wouldn't hurt as much as getting rejected now"
„I could have killed you"
„But you didn't"
„I hella love you"
He said as he came closer to my face and lifted my chin with his hand.
„You are my dear, my girl. May I kiss you?" he almost whispered. His hand landed on my waist and he grabbed it tight as if he didn't want me to go or to make sure I say yes. Instead I stayed quiet and he moved a few inch away from my face.

„It's okay, but what should I do to get you back?" he said sad and there were water in his eyes.
„I'm not that poetic and that's the best I could say and I know-
I grabbed the back of his head and softly kissed them. Just soft not the way we used to. It felt like a kiss to get to know each other, even though he is the one I know the best. I still feel unsure about this, but well I couldn't stand his cheesy talk anymore. I pulled him closer and let the kiss get more intense.

He pulled away from me and leaned his forehead against mine.
„I love you stupid" I said out of breath „even though you sometimes make me loathe you. You're right, it isn't always good"
„Let's get far away from this place alright my dear?"

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What do y'all think about that? They are backkkk. Hope you had a great Monday!💕