I'm feeling naughty

35

Rose POV
I just ran through the park, not knowing where to go. Everybody around must have thought I was completely insane. Everything around me blurred in front of my eyes. There were so many people that stared at me. It was all just so horrible. I collapsed on to a bench at a more quiet location offside from the main way.

Gus POV

What the fuck was wrong with her? Was it because of the drugs? Did she thought is was to much or didn't like the pills? But you couldn't even identify them from her point of view. I ran through the park, still in the direction she sprint. I walked through all the main ways, then started offside. I shouted her name, no reaction.

Suddenly I found her, laying on a bench, crying. I sat down next to her, saying nothing. I just took her hand and she enclosed it hard. I just sat there for a few minutes.
„Rose, what's wrong? You can tell me whatever you want, I won't judge or anything. Is it because of the drugs? Because of me?"

Her voice cracked a little and she had to clear her throat before she could answer.

„No of course it's not because of you, stupid, and not because of the drugs, I'd like to try them too though"
„Then tell me what's wrong?"

I got a little desperate cause she was acting so weird.
She slipped up so her had layed on my lap. I stroke some hair out of her beautiful, wellformed pale face, so I could look straight in her eyes.
„This woman, is no one else but my mother"

I was shocked, but yes, there was a similarity.
„I ehm... well I don't know what to say. I didn't know that"
„You couldn't, I've never told you much but she was an asshole about her, seeing her as a dealer and seeing her in general was just to much. I hate her and I never wanna talk to her again"
I fondled her hair to comfort her.
„What did she do? Ehhh you don't have to say what you don't want to"
„Well she did some things, harmed me mentally and physical, bullied me and showed me every day how much she didn't want me. When you are a child you believe her that you suck and are a pice of shit. It just broke me. Then she started to get even more furios every time she saw me. She took so many drugs, Joel's family saved me, I think I would have ended it if they wouldn't have been there"

Wow, I was sure this wasn't the whole story, I don't even wanna know the exact things she said to Rose.
I was disgusted by the idea how Rose got hurt from this stupid hoe.
„You don't have to see her ever again, and she doesn't deserve you anyways. You don't deserve this treatment. But why did you run away? Why did you even got out of the car?"
„I just wanted to see wether she is pretty and if you really don't make out with her. I'm sorry for not trusting you" she drive with her fingers through her hair. Now she seemed so vulnerable.

„I understand why you didn't trust me, I'm sorry"
I leaned back and she pressed her head even closer on me. It was completely silent, but the wind blowing through the trees and a few birds singing, so peaceful.

„Seeing my mom today just made me memorize some things, which were quite traumatic"
I bend down to kiss her.

„I'll keep you save, my dear, let's get back in the car"
„Thanks for searching and finding me"
„I was shocked too, it isn't normal that someone just runs away. I thought I had done something wrong, you looked like the evening of the concert"
She got up and I grabbed her hand.
„I didn't know it was her" I said in a low voice.
„I know, you couldn't"

Finally back in the car, I decided it was better if I dove, cause she was still terrified.
„Give me at least something of the stuff you bought"
„What do you want?"
I teared the plastic bag out of the pocket of my hoodie and she started to inspect everything.
She took out one Xanax and looked at it a little too long.

„Rose, that's some hard stuff"
I tried to warn her, but she just swallowed it and then leaned back.
„Is eh everything alright?"
She just nodded and I saw how her whole body relaxed.
„That stuff is insane"
„You really shouldn't have taken it, you're mentally not that stable right now, I'm worried"
„Chill you've taken it like a thousand times, I will survive takeing it once stupid"
„No Rose, I mean yes there is no big problem, but I'm sacred you get addicted or well. You wouldn't have taken them without me. I'm a bad-
„No you aren't. But you aren't a good example either, I mean you told me about how you cope and to be honest, isn't this exactly what drugs are for? Especially xans?"
„Well yes, but I don't want you to become like me. Okay? You can talk me whenever you're feeling bad. You don't need those drugs"

This sounded like I was a horrible person. Well I am but not that worse, am I? Some Defnitly would say yes.

„Of course I don't need them, I've never tried so I don't know."

I wouldn't survive loosing her to the thing I almost lost myself to.

Right now it's under control, but there just has to be a little thing that is a little to much and I'd completely relapse.

„Just promise you don't abuse them"
„Okay, I promise"
I tried to keep my eyes on the streets, but just had to watch her loosing the discomfort of the everyday life.
I decided to don't take any pills, she was enough.
She sang to the music and I just mumbled, keeping an eye on her so she wouldn't come to the idea to take anything else. She seemed so happy, so free. But I know the down you feel when you are slowly getting sober, it's horrible.

I'm kinda sad she chose pills over talking to me.

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A/n
We are so close to 1000 reads, thank you so so much. I can't believe how much this story blew up (I know it isn't that much, but reaching #1 in a big ranking like lilpeep is unbelievable for me). I never thought that somebody would read this crap. I was bored as I started uploading this, and I absolutely never thought about this. I'm trying to stay on daily updates, but school is starting again and I can't promise anything. Maybe there are going to be some days without uploading but I'm really trying my best. Thank you so much, maybe leave some feedback for improvements.