The Trials and Tribulations of a so-called Trouble Teen

Chapter 44 - Chair Soup

I am home alone. These 4 walls all to myself. Who can stop me from doing anything? No one. I only have myself to stop and I don't think I will. My dad has been dragged along by his parents to review buildings today or something along the lines of that, so I don't have to bother with him until at least three this afternoon. My schedule for today is get myself ready for the day, sort my record collection, work on new stuff, spend time with Maya, plan more of the O2 show and have rehearsals. Pretty busy day if I say so myself.

Being home alone means I have the giant stereo all to myself. There are a plethora of CDs to pick from and play across the house. No one to oppose me. I could play anything I want. Maybe even some Wolfe Tones. Have a jive, remember the patriotic dead. We're still in the battle to get all of Ireland independent and I can't ignore my siblings in the North just because my part of the island is already freed. I didn't want to forget my home country when I moved over to London. I, like many other Irish immigrants, have made many decisions and have made moves in order to stay connected to home as much as I possibly can.

I take any and all opportunities I can to either talk about home, or connect myself to come. I use the Irish language everyday both inside and outside the house, follow current affairs closely, engage with musicians on the island, and actively show my Irish pride. Just because I moved here, it doesn't mean that I forget my first home and hide where I'm from. My accent should have at least shifted to a more London-centric one by now, but I have resisted and I think my Dublin accent is actually stronger than before. I've been discriminated against because of it, but that just makes my identity even stronger.

I am proud to call myself Irish and I am proud to call Dublin my hometown. I will never give up that part of my identity - Ireland is who I am.

//

My shuffle threw in a surprise today - Heard It On the Radio. I haven't heard that song in so long. It definitely brings back memories. When did that show come out, 2012? Whenever it was, it was around the time I moved to London. 7 years? Wow. Had I known what I'd amount to now back when I was 10, I probably would've been more optimistic about life. Not that I have much optimism right now.

I just found out that the food bank is in serious financial trouble because it can't handle the sheer amount of people needing it. Food is going faster than it's going in. We have to just not supply certain things or limited numbers. It's an expensive bailout that I might not be able to cover this time. We can't get a loan because that'll just ruin us even further. What the fuck do I do in this situation? I can't just let them face closure when I'm clearly able to drop money at a moment's notice. What'll happen if my own money dries up though? How can I support myself never mind an entire population?

//

E: [stops walking on landing] I can do the thing my dad has told me not to be doing. [laughs] I've got my fluffy socks on. [runs into room and excitedly grabs camera]

[Graham comes into house]

E: [mouthing] Bollocks...

G: [from downstairs] Hello Evin!

E: [shakes body] Hola papá. [hides disappointed] You're home early?

G: [walking upstairs] Yeah, your grandparents dropped me back home because things were finished earlier than we thought they would be.

E: [disappointingly puts camera away]

G: [comes into room] What's the matter?

E: Nothing. Nada.

G: You sure?

E: You think I came up the Liffey in a bubble?

G: Evin, come on now. What's wrong?