TW: Discussion of bullying and abuse
The last few days have felt surreal. With rehearsals taking up a lot of time and the remaining time I have being spent on working on career plans, I've not been able to sit down and process what is going on in my mind. You know, those fears of meeting my mother and siblings I vocalised to Papá last nigh are closer to becoming real. Even though we have actively been talking to Vivienne, she can't really give us the full picture since she can't exactly get her hands on the truth and tell us the real story. I rather she didn't risk herself to find out because Angola is a long way from London and I couldn't shield her from the harm I constantly fear happening.
Of course the heartbreak and the lies surrounding the whole thing will influence how I perceive the situation. I might struggle to see through the pain of the last 16 years and that could easily damage the situation or any attempts to repair it. I just don't know anymore. She could tell me something that is purposefully damage because of the angst building up. What are the chances of her telling me something about my dad that makes me realise that he is a "bad person"? No, it's impossible. He's not the one who abandoned us. In fact, Graham has been both a father and a mother to Val and I this whole time. He always wanted to be a dad and he certainly takes on that role with pride.
On the topic of pride, was it a homophobic motive behind my mother's departure? My dad's been openly queer from the get-go so it wouldn't be a shock to find out later in the relationship. If she is homophobic, I am done for. As someone who is non binary and in a relationship with a girl, not having my mother's support would break me and I'd rather just not know her. Well... this is quite the pickle I've gotten myself into. Unnecessary manifestations running through my mind. This won't get me anywhere if I keep going on and on and on... Rats all this thinking is making me hungry. It's 10am, I should probably get up. My bed is so warm and cos though. Bloody hell, I am too comfortable.
//
I eventually got out of bed and... Wait a minute. Is my dad home right now? I don't think he is. Hmm, wonder where he's at?
E: [walking downstairs] ¿Papá? Are you in?
[dead silence]
E: Hmpf. Probably away to get another Pret. [sighs]
[doorbell rings]
E: [walking to door] I wonder who that can be? [opens door] Oh shit, hi. Why are you home so early?
M: Marino's out of water, and I forgot my key.
E: Ah. What are we doing today then?
M: [walks into house] You seem joyous. What's the matter darling?
E: I don't know where my dad is.
M: Didn't you hear him this morning?
E: No? [trying to remember morning]
G: [knocks on door] Evin? Maya? May I come in?
E: [sleepy] Sure...
G: [comes into room] Look, I don't wanna disturb you too long, but I'm back in the office for the day because I have to meet with one of the directors. There's a list of things you need to do while I'm out so can you do them?
E: Aye yeah, whatever. [falls back asleep]
M: So?
E: No.
M: He's back at the office today silly. Have you had breakfast?
E: [shakes head]
M: We can make you something in a minute. [signals to go to bedroom] I wanna get out of this first though.
YOU ARE READING
The Trials and Tribulations of a so-called Trouble Teen
General FictionThings never seem to go smoothly for Evin. Each day presents a new challenge for them, sometimes more difficult than others. Despite all this, they power through life their way and they won't stop at anything until they achieve their goals, or justi...
