With yesterday's toll on my mind, I'm taking today as easy as I can once again. I'm having a solo stroll through the local park and picking up any litter I see. As far as I'm aware, no one can stop me. I'm going solo, having space for myself and my thoughts on this beautiful autumn morning. Even through the hard times, nature brings a smile to my face. The birds, the squirrels, it's just beautiful.
The relatively few people in the park right now makes me feel a bit less watched. Elderly angry at clouds and children playing with sticks to my life, park workers or council staff to my left-left. That's far left, right? Haha, right. The opposite side is mostly just animals surrounding the lake. It's a beautiful lake, with lily pads and lilies sporadically placed and small ducks chittering away. It's very peaceful, I am at peace.
Ao: [quietly opens door] ¡Buenos días!
E: [slowly waking up] Morning.
Ao: Just checking you're awake, we're heading off to work in a few moments.
E: Is Maya in?
Ao: She's gone off to school. We'll be back by five this afternoon, I think your father will be too.
E: Alright.
Ao: What are you going to do today?
E: [thinking] I... I'll see.
I'm going to the park, that dream was far too hyper-realistic.
Ao: Don't be wandering off anywhere without telling anyone now, okay?
E: Sure.
Ao: I'll see you later.
E: Bye.
Ao: [leaves]
E: Jesus... Did I really dream that? [looks at hands] My hands are bitterly cold. [climbs out of bed]
Ao: Oh, Evin! [comes back in] One more thing...
E: Hm?
Ao: Your breakfast is downstairs.
E: Perfect.
Ao: I better go... ciao. [leaves]
E: See ya. [making bed]
[phone rings]
E: [answers] Hello?
V: Evin, are you in?
E: I'm only up so, yeah.
V: Can you check my desk and see if there's a purple notebook?
E: [looks at desk] Yes there is.
V: [talking to someone] Yes, it's purple. [to Evin] Do me a huge favour, can you use my sticker printer and print the words "home research" just so I can differentiate between my notebooks?
E: Sure! I'll do that now.
V: Perfect, I'll see you later.
E: Yeah, yeah, bye bye. [ends call] Am I ever going to get this damn thing done? [giggles]
Monday mornings are chaotic as usual for me it appears, I wonder if I'm gonna get a chance to actually go to the park the way I would like to, especially after that dream.
//
E: [into Instagram story] Hey. The final few tickets for my pop up show in the Empire this Friday night are almost gone, so if you want to see me in a small venue before I go onstage on a big one, swipe up!
Sigh. I'm so alone. I want Maya, even after everything she did to me last night. I want her hugs, I want her kisses... Why am I crying? Must be the hormones. Could be anxiety linked to the fact I'm turning 18 tomorrow. It's utterly terrifying that I'm 18 tomorrow. What the fuck. No, it's not happening. I refuse to believe it.
B: [text] Wanna go out for a while?
E: Where to?
B: Brunch?
E: Sure.
Oh okay then I guess I'm going for brunch.
//
What even is my life right now? I'm sitting in a cafe with Brian and Anita for a very impromptu brunch, yet my mind is elsewhere. I haven't told them about what happened with Maya last night. They're awful protective of me, they'd thump Maya if they could. Well maybe not thump her, just gently remove her from our lives. If you know what I mean. Would they really do that though? I haven't officially told them I'm engaged, I don't know how they'd even react. I'm scared, I'm scared.
What I have told them is about my paranoia surrounding turning 18 tomorrow. I don't think I'll ever fully accept it. I never got an "ordinary" childhood, I certainly didn't reach many of my expected milestones and I probably never will. There's no possible way I'm going to be a legal adult. I'll have voting rights, I can buy scissors and correction fluid, hell I can even legally adopt, right?
How could I possibly be an adult when I still have something stupid like 50% of my baby teeth? The delayed puberty is one thing, that's normal, it happens, the baby teeth thing doesn't. It makes me feel like a freak, some outcast who has been drawn by society to poke fun at and call all sorts of names. I feel embarrassed about what I have. I don't feel like I can embrace anything about myself. I'm ashamed of what I am.
On the topic of turning 18, I didn't ask for anything really other than a donation made in my name. I don't need anything. I have everything I could ever need or want in life. I mean I wouldn't mind someone giving me about £25,000 to invest in something but y'know, don't need it. I have a suspicion on what my dad and Maya might be getting me though. They seem very whispery around one another. She was looking at photos of bass guitars whereas my dad was doing the same. Am I getting a new bass, possibly one to match my guitar? Not a bad gift. I did overhear a discussion between my dad and Val about violins and sizing... maybe I'm getting a new violin?
I know these two have a surprise for me. Nothing too big but certainly something that'll make me happy. They could give me a bottle of cleaning spray and I'd still be happy. I'm easily amused, as you can probably tell. Last year they got me a gigantic custard cream cake alongside a few records and I was over the moon with it. You'd think I was a starved child with how quickly I ate the cake. It was delicious and made with lots of love, that's all I can say.
//
E: [typing on laptop in kitchen]
Ao: [comes into house] Evin, are you in?
E: Yep.
Ao: [comes into kitchen] How was brunch?
E: It was lovely. Wait, how do you know?
Ao: Brian told me.
E: Ah.
Ao: You really need to be telling people where you're going. What if we came home and you weren't here and we didn't know where you went?
E: [sighs] You're right.
Ao: I'm not yelling at you, just reminding you. No hard feelings, alright?
E: Alright.
Aa: [from living room] Arlo!
Ao: That's my cue to go. Permiso. [goes into living room]
E: Bye bye. [scrolls through phone]
Maya's on her way home, I don't know if I want to face her. Val, Olivia and my dad are on their way home too, I'm more than happy to say hello to them.
I'm actually going to go lie down for a while, I'm pretty tired right now.
YOU ARE READING
The Trials and Tribulations of a so-called Trouble Teen
General FictionThings never seem to go smoothly for Evin. Each day presents a new challenge for them, sometimes more difficult than others. Despite all this, they power through life their way and they won't stop at anything until they achieve their goals, or justi...
