[TW: Mentions of body image, eating/food complications and I guess controlling relationships - Evin discusses things with Maya that may remind some readers of a relationship that wasn't positive for them]
I can't sleep - I think I'm having a panic attack. I'm not able to sit still - I'm shaking. Where's my dad? I really need him right now.
//
E: [opens door and throws slipper at Graham's head]
G: [wakes up] Oh, what's wrong darling?
E: [sniffling] I can't... [collapses]
G: [rushes out of bed and picks up] You'd be best off in your own room.
E: [hyperventilating]
G: [puts on bed] What's the matter love?
E: [shaking] I... I can't stop panicking.
G: [gives blue inhaler] Hija, take a breath. Did you have a nightmare?
E: Yeah.
G: You're gonna be okay, papá's here. There's no need to panic. [rubs arm] Deep breaths darling, deep breaths. Do you want to have some water?
E: [shakes head]
G: Do you want to talk about it?
E: [sniffs] It was mamá...
G: Take your time. What was she doing?
E: She... she was... [bursts into tears]
G: It's okay, let it all out.
E: I want my blankey.
G: [goes to get] If you want anything else, tell me.
E: I want to go back to sleep.
G: Are you sure? [wraps blanket around Evin]
E: Yeah...
G: I'll leave the door open so you can call me if you need to. Goodnight Evin. [kisses forehead then leaves]
E: Goodnight pa.
//
That was a nightmare to put things simply. I have to go into school early to speak to Antonio regarding the show on Friday. I saw him very briefly at the end and he seemed pretty happy about it. I think he mainly wants to see me to organise other music lessons that I'd be missing otherwise due to leaving Marino. Perhaps there will be more to discuss? I've only just started so there should be no bother arising?
To make up for the sleep I lost during my "episode", dad let me sleep in until about 20 minutes before we needed to leave, packing my backpack and made my smoothie for me. I was far too afraid to speak to him about the nightmare. My mother came back again and kept hurting my dad. It was so much more serious this time - she was physically assaulting him beyond what I can describe. I was so terrified that I didn't want to get out of bed in case my nightmare was true. The further out of my life my mother is, the better. I am terrified of what she could be capable of.
G: [knocks ajar door] ¿Estás listo?
E: [lying on bed turned away from door] Barely.
G: Evin, I have something that might make you feel better.
E: Did you finally steal Red Special from Brian's house?
G: [chuckles] No... I wouldn't be capable of getting it off him... yet.
E: [sits up] Then what is it?
G: [lifts box from hallway] This just arrived about 15 minutes ago. [gives]
YOU ARE READING
The Trials and Tribulations of a so-called Trouble Teen
General FictionThings never seem to go smoothly for Evin. Each day presents a new challenge for them, sometimes more difficult than others. Despite all this, they power through life their way and they won't stop at anything until they achieve their goals, or justi...
