The Trials and Tribulations of a so-called Trouble Teen

Chapter 60 - We Know How To Dare

I wake up when I want, except for today, when I get RUDELY AWAKENED by the weather outside. Once again, the weather is pelting itself against my windows. I'm waiting for the day my windows are broken by extreme climate change-fuelled sleet. Hell, I'm just waiting for snow full of stones to fall upon us.  Perhaps some flooding. The planet has been destroyed and if we don't change our habits very soon, we won't have somewhere else to go. I have ideas on how to revolutionise the music industry and make it become more eco-friendly, but at the same time I doubt my ideas would be taken up by the top dogs in the industry who only care about profit over the people. 

It makes me feel sick to my stomach how many young people are exploited by big bosses and get very little, if any, return on their input into creating a product. I refuse to sign to big labels knowing how the control output and how little room I could have with creative decisions. What I put out is what I have created from start to finish. I had all control, and if I wasn't happy with something, it wasn't going to be put out into the world. I mean, I'm not getting any big billboard promotions on the side of Piccadilly Circus, I don't vibe with that. 

I spent about 5 hours in total at the studio last night, I probably would've been there longer had Brian not sent me home to have dinner when my dad couldn't reach me. I wrote a song from start to finish, performed the instruments by myself, mixed it and saved it to my drive. I enjoy pushing out demos on my own and get the band to work with it, but I think I might keep this one in the vaults for a while. The lyrics are very touchy right now, they're very obviously about Maya and I don't want her to hurt me because of it. 

Last night, my dad announced he's taking the next week off work, no exceptions. He's recognised that he's burnt out and needs time to relax. He also acknowledged his privilege in being able to do this. We're all comfortable enough to just take a week out of reality of we so want to, I'm pretty sure we can't say that for most people in this country. The work culture that has been created over the years doesn't seem to allow for workers to take a real break, especially with how many people work zero hour contracts or very limited hours and have to do all they can just to make ends meet. 

A lot of the people I would've personally assisted in the food bank were often zero hour contract workers or those not able to get enough hours to cover their cost of living. Rent costs are skyrocketing across the country and many social tenants can't get a house in the place they grew up. There seems to be a shortage in housing units, but there are so many buildings sitting ready to be occupied by those who need them. Ones with cladding that caused the Grenfell fire need dealt with to be made safer before anyone moves in, of course, but there are still many in perfect condition that can be occupied right now. I watched a documentary on this which looked into houses being bought up by foreign investments firms and how the people from the areas were being ripped off and/or pushed out. My grandparents' properties are given to social tenants most of the time, but they have pointed out a major issue many councils are facing. 

With the change in benefits, recipients who get social housing through private landlords are given the money to pay for the rent instead of it going from council to landlord. Classist landlords who think that all benefit recipients won't pay them their money won't accept those needing socially housed because they don't seem to trust any of them. This has locked more people out of accessing suitable ones for their families and is creating the vicious cycle of not getting anywhere, risking homelessness, getting "emergency" accommodation, that all over again. My family in Cultra in Northern Ireland have told me about all the problems there, and it certainly isn't any better there on top of the issues over there faces anyway.

E: [writing on iPad in attic]

M: [walks in] Evin, what are you doing?

E: Questioning how the fuck this country has allowed those at the bottom of the pile suffer through the unnecessary hardships that have been allowed?