Today is just one of those days where I want to sit in my bedroom and not do a single thing. I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to see anymore, hell I don't even want to be anyone. The tabloids are profiting off my misery. Whoever got information on my situation is going to pay one way or another. I am furious that we have been snooped on in such a way that we became the gossip of the town. No, furious is putting it lightly. I am enraged, I am angry, I am very upset. I'd cry, but I cried so much yesterday that it tightens my chest and I feel like I'm having an asthma attack wrapped with a panic attack bow. Maya isn't much better herself, she is utterly miserable and has been sobbing non stop. The pain she felt originally is slowly coming back. She thought she battled those initial wounds, but they were just left gaping and not dealt with. I guess I can say that Maya has become very pale today. She's very ghastly looking at the moment, her eyes puffy and swollen. She is heartbroken, and I am heartbroken.
If there's one thing I'm afraid of happening today, it's Vivienne and Eden getting the brunt of this. If my mother finds out that her secret previous life has become the talk of the town online, how will she take it? Does she even use social media? The photo I used of her to find more information about her is a very old one, would people even recognise her? She could've taken on her now husband's surname as a disguise for all I know. What else is there for me to know here? I should ask Vivienne more questions to get to the bottom of it. Would that be safe though? I'm not sure if it would be safe. The two of us need to be conscious around what we do and how we find out information. Viv has the key to finding out more that we both don't know. Speaking and asking questions is the only way we can find out more information that we need. I'll need to brainstorm different questions for her to ask that aren't too invasive or revealing. We can't damage our chances of finding out the truth by becoming complacent in asking too much.
Some of my ideas include faking an entire school project about finding out family stories, learning about living in different countries and learning about migration in general. Things like this seems innocent and doesn't look like it's us finding out about my mother, right? My goodness, this is more difficult than I imagined. We'll both have to have a call one day to actually come up with different ideas, well also to talk about different things too. We still have so much learning about one another to do. I also really want to hear Vivienne's stories from school and beyond. I've said this before, but our upbringings are completely different from one another and the cultures we grew up are incredibly different. We've had different life experiences, some relatable some not. Most important connection would definitely be our struggles with autism and life on the spectrum. We could share our experiences with being diagnosed, coping mechanisms and how we've dealt with society not being built for people like us. Didn't she say her special interest was maths? We could easily be polar opposites. I'm not like Val, so I might as well not be like Vivienne too, or even Eden.
Maybe Maya has a few ideas up in her mind. She knows how to manipulate a situation in order to get what she wants. Funny I say that, she's manipulated so many people into thinking that she's a nice person who is caring, when in reality she's not. She's hurtful, she's controlling, she's not the person I fell in love with. Sometimes when I look at her, I wonder what could've been if we just stayed friends rather than becoming girlfriends. What if she wasn't into me and it was just one sided? Hell. It would just be hell. I probably wouldn't end up hurt the way I am, it would just be another kind of hurt. I should probably stop thinking about this before I send myself into another meltdown.
I guess I have to take things into consideration and power on with my search for the full story behind my mother's disappearance and I won't let a little tabloid story get in my way. This is my time now and no one can stop me, not even myself.
YOU ARE READING
The Trials and Tribulations of a so-called Trouble Teen
Fiksi UmumThings never seem to go smoothly for Evin. Each day presents a new challenge for them, sometimes more difficult than others. Despite all this, they power through life their way and they won't stop at anything until they achieve their goals, or justi...
